1. Go back to your hometown with your boyfriend, at the mouth of the village, the boyfriend is urinating urgently, it is convenient to go to the grove, I am waiting on the side of the road, there is a grandfather coming, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?"

1. Go back to my hometown with my boyfriend, at the mouth of the village, my boyfriend is urinating urgently, it is convenient to go to the grove, I am waiting on the side of the road, there is a grandfather coming, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?" Me: "Uncle, I'll go to Li Xiaodong's house!" Just then, my boyfriend came out and I said to him, "Did this uncle say anything about your village?" Boyfriend: "This grandson who does not know, my neighbor" I tugged on the boyfriend's clothes to make him speak more politely, and the uncle next to him saw the boyfriend and greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, you are back?" I, depend, the rural generations are really chaotic...

1. Today I helped the female boss complete a personal matter, the female boss said thank you for inviting me to dinner, asked where I want to eat? I said: Just go to your house and eat, don't break the bank. The female boss replied: Yes, but even if you go to the house to make it, you have to prepare a big meal and ask me what I like to eat? I said there is meat on the line, and now that the price of meat has risen, I haven't smelled meat for a month. I almost forgot what the meat tasted like. The female boss said and nodded. However, when I went to the female boss's house, the female boss actually prepared a meal of leek dumplings for me. I was really angry, said that there was no good meat at all, ate two dumplings and left, such a boss is also too stingy, really not worth the effort for her. Do you think that's right?

2. When the car was running out of gas when I was about to get off the highway, I said to my wife: "Do you believe it or not, we go to the service area of the exit to refuel, and we can go without giving money?" Naturally, the wife did not believe it. After refueling in the service area, I said to the staff: "I didn't bring money, ask your webmaster to come and see what to do?" After a while, a young man came over, and as soon as he saw me, he said helplessly to the staff: "Let him go, that is my old uncle Lai, I will pay for the oil." ”

3. Send a message to a female colleague asking her if she can go for a walk in the grove at night, but she accidentally sent it to her sister-in-law, and when she found out, she could not withdraw it, and she replied: "Brother, can you eat first!" "I was stunned and didn't know how to respond. Her message came again: "There is a Western restaurant next to the grove, but it is delicious, and it is just a walk after eating, but it is romantic!" I deliberately asked, "You're familiar!" She said, "My girlfriend told me!" My girlfriend has a good friend in the company, and every time she is invited to eat Western food, and then go for a walk in the woods! Curious, I asked, "What's your girlfriend's name?" She quickly sent her name over, and I looked at it, isn't this just my female colleague? Could it be me that good man? I deliberately asked, "What's her good name?" The sister-in-law said, "Brother, you are really gossipy, ask so clearly what you are doing." But since you asked, I'll tell you, hey, it's the boss of their company. My heart sank suddenly, and it turned out that she and the boss had something to do." I exhaled and said, "What does it mean to follow an old walking man?" The sister-in-law smiled and said: "Brother, the girlfriend said, the boss is very generous, and understands romance, much stronger than other men in the company." She said that their company, except for the boss, the rest is straw bales! "At that time, I was angry, called the female colleague and scolded her, did not give her any chance to refute, took my sister-in-law to eat Western food, then went for a walk in the woods, and then met the female colleague and the boss who were also walking. The female colleague seemed to be jealous, and shook off the boss's hand and came over to question the sister-in-law: "I am the best girlfriend of you, you..." I snorted: "Be content!" The female colleague said: "The boss is my stepfather!" "Oops, I don't even know how to explain this?" However, I was also quick-witted, and introduced: "This is my sister-in-law!" "You see, they are all relatives, they should be fine!"

4. A local tycoon finished eating the buffet, was about to get up and leave, was stopped by the waiter, had to let the local tycoon make up the difference.

The local tycoon was very angry: "I don't have leftovers, why should I make up the difference?" ”

The waiter said: "Yes sir, you are not wasteful, but!" We 25 yuan buffet hot pot, you did not eat anything, came to drink our two boxes of drinks, a box of yogurt, are you going to make up the difference? ”

5. The abbot knew that the apprentice had a girlfriend and kept urging him to marry. Today the abbot gave the apprentice a death order, telling him to marry immediately. The disciple said: These two days are making trouble, I can't mention it! The abbot said: Hurry up! I can't wait! The disciple was curious: Even if you are married, it will be a year after you have a grandchild, and it is useless for you to be in a hurry. The abbot said: My red lady intermediary is about to open! If you ask even my apprentice or a bare stick, my business ability will be questioned!

6. When you go out and throw away the garbage, you accidentally throw your mobile phone in. When I was lying there, a big sister with a child said, baby, let's give the drink bottle to this uncle, okay? Then the child handed me the bottle.

7. Xiao Liu recently made a very beautiful girlfriend and often bought her expensive gifts. Yesterday, the two went to the movies, and then went shopping, and it was almost 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, and then they said goodbye.

The girlfriend asked Xiao Liu: "We will meet tomorrow, okay?" ”

Xiao Liu replied: "I think it is the 3rd of next month." ”

Girlfriend dissatisfied: "Why can't we see each other every day?" Are you on a business trip tomorrow? ”

Xiao Liu whispered, "I don't travel on business. Mainly because our unit can only pay salaries on the 3rd of every month! ”

8. Then I would go to a friend's birthday party, and unconsciously I would drink too much, that is, the kind that drank the broken piece. The next day I got up sore, as if I had been beaten. My brother called a friend for a while: "I drank too much last night, what did you do to me?" As a result, the friend said helplessly: "You drank high last night and said that you were Ultraman, and fought with the stone lion in front of the hotel for more than half an hour." ”

9. In the afternoon, I took my little nephew to the fruit stall to buy fruit, and he said he came to buy it, and I threw him a look of admiration. Unexpectedly, what surprised me even more was that he said to people who sold fruit: how much to put all the bad ones into one bag. The little nephew said: Don't want anything in the bag, give me the stall, come two pounds! I was on the sidelines, silently underestimating my IQ.

 #Funny Scene of the Year # #年度搞笑名场面 #