The netizen letter said:
I am a housewife, and in the 10 years that I have lived with my husband, I have had two babies, the eldest is the son, and the second is the daughter. In love with my husband, I worked in a private company, but after giving birth to a child, my in-laws were in my hometown and did not want to come up to help me with the baby, the key is that my husband is not bad money, in this case, I can only quit my job and become a housewife. The husband is a businessman, and when he is idle, he will pestle at home, and when he is busy, he will also leave early and return late. Because I can't control my husband's working hours (he can't control himself), what else can I do but trust my husband?
The funny thing is that a few days ago, my husband confessed to me that he had a lover outside of marriage and that he and the other person's child were 3 years old. Because the other party's children were facing the hukou, the husband had no choice but to tell me about it.
I don't like to dwell on it, so my attitude towards it is: the house belongs to me, the deposit is divided equally, the two children are left to me, and you live your dashing life. The point is, my husband is not willing to divorce me. The husband's plan for this matter: to pass the child into our name, to give the woman some money, and from then on, he will no longer associate with the woman. I could not agree to my husband's proposal: I also knew that the child was innocent, but it was a sin he and the woman had created, and why should I bear this pain. I was just an ordinary woman after all, and I was afraid that if I had two children, there was no way to get along with that child calmly.
Now, my husband has been arguing with me, but after this incident was discovered, I have been in a state of depression. Now, our two children have also gone to school (the eldest is in elementary school, the second is in kindergarten), so with a house to live in and some savings in hand, plus I find a class, I can still afford to raise my two children. I am more inclined to divorce now. What I really think in my heart at the moment: first spend a while, if my husband is not willing to divorce me, I can only go through the legal channel.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
Admittedly, the person you met at the marriageable age may not be the one who satisfies you the most, but it was definitely the best choice in the circumstances at the time. What should I do when two people get married and meet someone outside of marriage who thinks they are good? Answer: Nip your liking for each other in the bud and remind yourself that love also needs to come first. Those who can't get on the bus on time, can only miss it and sit down on the next ride.
However, there are always some people who have poor self-control and meet unscrupulous people, so the two people are involved in extramarital affairs, and more outrageously, the two parties have illegitimate children. In this case, there is bound to be suffering: pain between the original partner and the lover; pain with the original child and the child with the lover. However, at this time, it is also necessary to rationally give a choice of two choices, in most cases, men will choose to continue the married life with the original match, the key is whether the original match will give cooperation, that is, the original match has the final say. Because the damage caused by the infidelity itself has made it difficult for the original match to accept, coupled with the fact that there are children between the lover and the lover.
Regarding the love of a married man and an unmarried woman, in my judgment value, it belongs to two unreliable people, living each other as clowns. First of all, as a married man, loyalty to marriage should have been guaranteed; secondly, as an unmarried woman, knowing that the other party has a family, but also to develop a lover relationship with the other party, ridiculously, but also to give birth to each other's children, is not the brain kicked by the donkey?
Maybe just standing on the grounds of having children out of wedlock and the innocence of children may win some sympathy, but have you ever thought that your acceptance of married men has already caused harm to each other's wives and children? To measure your current embarrassment on this level, don't you feel that you are to blame?
In life, we often see cases where the third party is pregnant and insists on giving birth to a child, basically the original partner tearfully gives the divorce to completion. The point is that in this case, the man's inner truth is often: the lover forces himself to divorce the original partner through the child; the lover is a scheming woman. As a result, even if the child in the lover's belly eventually forms a new family with the lover, there will be hostility in the relationship, and it will feel that the existence of the lover harms himself and the original match and the child of the original partner. It's just that men habitually ignore one point: if they don't get involved in the flowers and weeds, they won't get into today's embarrassing situation.
The funny thing is that some men obviously have the ability to cheat, but they do not have the ability to face the entanglement of the third party, and after the unexpected pregnancy of the third party, they do not have the ability to let the third party dispose of the child, so they let themselves go more and more outrageous on the road of extramarital affairs. It is not until the paper package cannot hold the fire that the original match will be informed of such an unseemly thing. At this time, the real expectation in my heart is that I hope that the original match can help me "clean up the aftermath", the key is what?
In the adult world, everyone should bear the price of their every move, and understand that not all sorry can be exchanged for a sentence of okay. Therefore, everyone needs to think clearly about the causes and consequences when doing things. Regarding such a thing as cheating, it is obviously a violation of morality, and the key is that someone has acted on this matter to cover his ears and steal the bell, or the dead pig is not afraid of boiling water, but he panicked when things evolved to a worse point.
Obviously, you were originally benevolent, your husband and lover's children are innocent, but you have no way to convince yourself to accept this child, you know, if this child appears under your eyes every day, it will bring you heartache and humiliation, perhaps for you, divorce and fight for more family property, is the best way to deal with it in your cognition, so if so, then use legal means to dissolve the relationship when you are not willing to continue to fight with your husband.
Editor's Note:
I believe that many times, we will have a sense of compassion to face all kinds of things in life, how can we be kind enough, but our ability is limited, so that when we see some suffering around us, we will show more than enough and insufficient helplessness. However, sometimes when you can be kind, you will also be selectively kind, because you don't want to use kindness in the wrong place, and you will feel that once you use kindness in the wrong place, it is connivance.
As social people, we need to have the minimum social morality, and we also need to have the awareness of striving for good social customs, rather than allowing ourselves to become the mouse in the original good life. We need to understand that doing something humiliating requires moral criticism, and that people's evaluations of good and bad are people's true views of you.
(Picture from the network, graphics and text have nothing to do)