Text: Xi Xihuan
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Happy marriage everyone looks envious, but also want to have, but the definition of happy marriage, no one can say clearly, just look at the two people in the marriage of love, support each other, let the family have a temperature, so that marriage is no longer a shackle, the heart is full of yearning.
We all understand the truth that marriage needs to be managed, love needs to be preserved, and lovers need to cherish it well, when they first got married, they swore an oath and felt that they would definitely spend a happy life with each other, but when they lived, sometimes they embarked on the road that they did not expect.
I believe that many people have experienced several stages in marriage, there have been sweetness and happiness, there have been tiredness and doubts, and finally some couples have survived the past, white heads and old age, but some couples choose to go their separate ways and become the most familiar strangers.
At the beginning of marriage, I believe that I have the idea of being able to go to the end with each other, but there are many variables in marriage, and with the change, people's state of mind is constantly changing, and the quality of marriage is not necessarily satisfactory.
There are three most difficult stages in marriage, and if the couple survives, they will grow old, but many couples lose on the last one.
01 After the sweet period of marriage
After just getting married, the little two are exactly when you and I are nong, and the two people go from acquaintance and love to hand in hand into marriage, and it is the time to be interested in each other.
Therefore, at this time, the couple is the most loving, but people are aesthetic fatigue, husband and wife are not related by blood, each from a different original family to form a new family with each other, you need to have a process of running into each other.
It may be that the taste is different, it may be that the living habits are different, or it may be that the other party is not the most suitable person for themselves, so contradictions and gaps arise.
Therefore, there are many couples who choose to divorce three to five years after marriage, because most of them have experienced the process of being interested in each other, to understanding, and finally to boredom.
In fact, if you want to open up, you will understand that marriage can not be settled, not with anyone can get married to live, but if you are tired of this person at this time, then it means that in the future, no matter who you choose, there will be this process, is it not necessary to choose to let the marriage break up every time you reach this stage?
There are also fireworks in a truly happy marriage, and there are also times when there are chicken feathers, because an overly perfect marriage does not exist in reality.
So at this stage, couples should learn to tolerate and understand each other, rather than holding on to each other's dissatisfaction, exaggerating the unhappiness in marriage will only make them less and less confident in this marriage.
Couples who really know how to tolerate their partners will divert their attention when they go through this stage, and they will also look at each other's good side more, rather than using those insignificant mistakes to entangle themselves and let the other party be snubbed.
After surviving such a run-in period, the marriage of two people is more stable, and it is one step closer to the goal of growing old with a white head.
02 The divergent stage of parenting
I don't know if anyone has found that many couples were originally very affectionate, but after having children, everything has changed, and what was once like glue has become a bad place to look at each other now, especially when it comes to children, the two people will become needle-point to Mai Mang.-like opposition.
The marriage of friends Gu Xuening and her husband was once the envy object of many people, two people fell in love for eight years, and after marriage and more than three years in the world of two, many people thought that they had no love for a long time, only family affection, but every time they saw the appearance of the two of them together, they could not help but sigh that the original love could really last a long time.
But all this changed after they had a daughter, and the feelings between the husband and wife were affected, not to mention, and even to the point of divorce at one point.
It turned out that the two people often quarreled because of the way they took care of their daughters, and Gu Xuening felt that the children were not so delicate and did not have to be too nervous, but the husband immediately became a "daughter slave" after getting this daughter, afraid that her daughter was cold and hungry.
In this way, as soon as the two people encounter the daughter's matter, they will change their faces and accuse each other, Gu Xuening feels that her husband is making a big fuss, and the most important thing is that she feels that her husband only has children in his heart and does not have himself, which makes her heart, who is already a little depressed after childbirth, feel particularly uncomfortable.
And the husband feels that she is incompetent as a mother, always careless, and sometimes the daughter bumps, or is sick, and can't help but complain about her.
In the end, the two people decided to divorce, the two old people cried and laughed after learning about it, how deep the feelings of the two little ones were, how they came this way they all saw in their eyes, so they persuaded for a while to let the couple dispel the idea of divorce.
Now that the child is older and very sensible and well-behaved, Gu Xuening's relationship with her husband has eased up a lot, and the two people sometimes think of the excitement and stubbornness of the past.
It is very common for two couples to have conflicts because of their children, and even affect their feelings, but it also shows that both people are very responsible for their children, and it is also very gratifying from this point of view.
But two people must understand that the child will one day grow up and become an independent person, and what parents need to do is to give the child a healthy and harmonious family atmosphere.
03 Boredom period
The seven-year itch is like a spell in marriage, almost every couple has experienced it, and at that stage, the original appreciation between husband and wife has become disgust, and the original desire for marriage has become resistance.
I have seen too many couples who have not survived this stage, choose to abandon the old people and accept the new people, but what is the final result? The new person will also become the old person, and when facing the exhaustion period in the marriage again, will they continue to choose divorce?
Even blood relatives will look at each other unfavorably, let alone husband and wife? So at this stage, the people who can really survive safely must be open-minded, know how to tolerate and understand their partners.
You understand the hard work he has put into this family, he understands the sacrifices you have made for the family, and more gratitude to each other will naturally shorten the length of the boredom period.
Marriage is not easy, we all know this truth, white head with the old man in the eyes of many people is a myth, seemingly out of reach, but in fact, as long as the heart, with more practical actions to care for and love each other, this myth you can also have.
END.