The advent of a new life brings joy to the whole family, but it also means shouldering the corresponding responsibility for raising. The physiological needs of eating, drinking, and sleeping on the way to growth of babies not only require energy to take care of, but also need financial support.
However, for parents, just like the contradictory saying circulating on the Internet - "Letting go of your job can't support you, and picking up a job can't accompany you." "Therefore, many idle old people at home often stand up and take up the burden of carrying a baby.
Regarding the elderly with babies, some people think that it is best to be experienced and careful; some people refute that the elderly with babies are prone to overdose and cultivate a child's arrogant and arrogant personality. So is it good for the old man to take the baby?
What is the difference between having an old man with a baby and not having an old man with a baby? Real cases of three families tell you the answer!
Family: There are old people to help with the baby, bao mom saves a lot of worry, but the childcare conflict is continuous
During Ah Zhen's pregnancy, her mother-in-law came from the countryside to take care of her life. Because there is a mother-in-law to take the handle, Ah Zhen also has a lot of worry.
But the problem is that after the birth of the child, the mother-in-law claims to have brought several children and has rich experience, so she can't listen to Ah Zhen's opinion with the child. On a hot day, the mother-in-law was worried that the child was cold, so she wrapped up three layers inside and three layers outside, causing the child to get a heat rash.
At first, Ah Zhen was still able to calmly communicate with her mother-in-law, but seeing the child suffer, Ah Zhen was also anxious and quarreled with her mother-in-law face to face. With this beginning, all kinds of small things with children will cause child-rearing conflicts in the future, and family conflicts will continue.
Family: Bao Mom does not have the elderly to help lining the baby, and the family economy is stretched
But like Xiao li's family without children, although the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has not been resolved, the husband and wife are constantly contradictory, and the economic conditions are getting worse and worse.
After Xiao Li gave birth to the child, the elderly on both sides were busy with their own busyness to help with the child. Seeing that the maternity leave was coming to an end, Xiaoli had to resign and opened the road of full-time baby. In the past, the two people earned money to support their families, and barely managed to cover various living expenses such as mortgages. But now that there is one more little guy to eat and drink, and only one salary for her husband, the family expenses are inevitably tense.
And Xiao li's hand upwards to ask for money is not good, husband and wife from time to time because of money problems erupt quarrels, family atmosphere is shrouded by "low pressure".
Family: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bring the baby together, and the family is harmonious
Zhouzhou originally planned to ask her sister-in-law to take the baby, but the mother-in-law thought that she had plenty of time, so she took the initiative to take over the responsibility of taking the baby. The mother-in-law is a cultural person, she loves to read books and newspapers on weekdays, and after having grandchildren, she does not rely on old experience to do things, and she also has time to consult with Zhouzhou on scientific parenting methods.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious, and the mother-in-law with the baby also reassures Zhouzhou. Therefore, after the end of the maternity leave, Zhouzhou gave the heavy responsibility of taking the baby to the mother-in-law during the day, returned to the workplace to work hard, and Zhouzhou took the initiative to take the baby at night and weekend, so as not to let the mother-in-law be tired.
Three groups of families, three groups of real life portrayals, the difference between the elderly with a baby and without a baby is still very large, and the same is the old man with a baby, because the way the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along is different, it is also very different.
Most netizens believe that the family with the elderly to help with the baby is very happy, and it is true, young people can take advantage of the golden period of the rise in the workplace to work hard to work hard, after all, the full-time baby is not energy or economy, the pressure is too great.
Some netizens believe that families with old people with babies must learn to be grateful, after all, it is the old people who sacrifice their free old age life at the expense of their lives. Even if the old people have some wrong methods with babies, young people should understand and tolerate more, and do not let the old people work hard at the same time, but also chill.
Like me and my mother-in-law just got along, there are contradictions, but we both love to learn, and slowly we can communicate problems together, so now the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is still good, and the children are also well educated.
In my experience, if the elderly and the family with the baby want to avoid the emergence of family conflicts, we must pay special attention to two aspects:
★ Divide and cooperate with each other
The difference between the old and new parenting concepts has often become the fuse for the outbreak of family conflicts. To avoid this, division of labor is important.
In terms of life care, the elderly have rich experience and plenty of time, and taking care of children should be handy. In terms of education, the elderly's thinking is relatively conservative, and they are slow to accept new things, so they do not understand the children's ideas and psychology, so the education of children should be made by young parents.
The two sides divide and cooperate on the issue of childcare, reach a consensus, and interfere less in each other's "jurisdiction", then natural contradictions will be reduced.
★ Mutual tolerance and understanding
Not only is the concept of parenting different, the living habits and consumption concepts of the two generations are different, living under the same roof, it is inevitable that there will be "times when they don't look at each other well". At this time, it is necessary for both sides to be more tolerant and more understanding, and try to look at the problem from the perspective of the other party.
The older generation should be sympathetic to the difficulty of young people's work, occasionally "indulge" the emergence of high consumption, right and as a reward for hard work; and the younger generation should also be considerate of the way of life of the older generation, even if it is occasionally a little more nagging, but also because of concern and worry, many times are "a step back from the sea and the sky", there is no need to be quick to talk, causing unnecessary quarrels.
[Dumbbell Mother Summary]: In today's fast-paced life, it is a happy thing to have the elderly to help with the baby, and the life pressure of young people can be reduced. Therefore, families who are fortunate enough to be able to help the elderly with their babies must learn to cherish. Two generations live in harmony and create a warm family atmosphere, which is not only a pleasant life for themselves, but also beneficial to the healthy growth of children.