All along, we have described teachers as gardeners, diligently watering the flowers of the motherland,
Cultivate children to grow into towering trees and become useful people for the social family.
But in fact, if the child is a seedling, the parent needs to be the gardener.
Seedlings need to be watered, fertilized, and pruned to thrive healthily.
A hard-working gardener, easy to raise a positive and healthy child,
And the once-and-for-all, lazy gardener is bound to be prone to cultivating children with poor social adaptation and psychological problems.
In particular, some parents are busy in order to make a living and do not take the initiative to assume the responsibility of parents' education and guidance.
Thinking that children only need to be raised, do not need to think too much. Such parents lack advanced educational concepts and awareness of the overall situation.
Once the child has various bad problems, it is inevitably too late, because if you miss the best educational opportunity, you will inevitably regret it!
Children are not only the hope of the motherland, but also the hope of a family, and the continuation of life as parents.
Life is busy and urgent in the present, but hope for the future is also important.
The hope of the child as a family needs to be paid attention to if the parents have these problems.
Spoiling children excessively does not know it
Anything, too late, love children too! Excessive love is the equivalent of not loving.
Xiaolan's mother went to pick up Xiaolan from school, and saw Lei Lei of Xiaolan's class, sitting on a bench at the entrance of the kindergarten, being held by her mother and crying.
Xiao Lan walked over and asked Lei Lei's mother, it turned out that Lei Lei suspected that his mother forgot to bring him snacks to eat, causing him to be strongly dissatisfied, crying, how to coax is not good.
Lei Lei's mother is such a son, very fond of Lei Lei.
Every time Lei Lei is out of school, he will ask his mother to eat this and that, and Lei Lei's mother will unconditionally meet his wishes.
Xiaolan sometimes walks with Lei Lei after school. A few times I saw Lei Lei and his mother angry, chasing and beating their mother as they walked.
Lei Lei's mother didn't seem to mind either.
Dad carried him to school, and Mom coaxed him out of school. Lei Lei is completely their family's heart and liver baby.
Xiao Lan was extremely envious.
Xiao Lan is more sensible, and several times Lei Lei's mother also praised Xiao Lan for understanding the reason more than Lei Lei.
In fact, only Xiaolan's mother knows that the child understands what the truth is, but adults can't fully listen to the child.
The relationship between parents and children is sometimes like a power game, in which the most important thing is to maintain the "love" between the two parties.
As the saying goes, if a parent loves a child deeply, he has a profound plan for it
But now the love of parents for their children is often easy to go to extremes.
After all, there is no shortage of materials now, so it is easy to oversatisfy children.
Spiritually, there is a lack of moderate guidance education to transmit positive values to children.
Spoiling the child in this way without knowing it, over-satisfying the child's requirements, paying too much attention to the child's behavior, and overprotecting the child's body and mind.
Growing up in such an atmosphere of excessive "care" will lead to children's self-awareness being too strong, overly self-centered, becoming willful, and going their own way.
Obviously, he is old enough to understand a certain truth, but he never considers the needs of the current situation.
For example, his parents are busy, but they have to do something with him.
Don't think about the needs of others, just want to satisfy yourself.
For example, dad is very tired after work, or ask dad to play on his back and go out to buy toys.
When the child only has himself in his eyes, in order to meet his own expectations, he will constantly ask for it.
Once parents or others fail to meet their requirements, they will feel angry or even attack people, and all kinds of means such as lying and crying will be used in disguise, in short, they will not stop until the goal is achieved.
Such children are overdated from an early age, not accepting their parents' moderate rejection and denial of them, and getting used to the fact that others have to satisfy themselves.
If you are not satisfied, you will not be able to turn a corner, stubbornly collapse, and unconsciously show a tendency to attack, passively attack, or self-attack in order to retaliate against others.
Lack of equal care for children
If parents lack heartfelt love for their children, they will make children lack emotional attachment to their parents for a long time.
Children who lack attachment generally do not love their mothers or fear their mothers, and fathers are easily absent.
Recently, from several relatives and friends, there have been incidents of children fighting with mothers.
In one case, the grandmother went to fight for her grandson and his mother, but was pushed away by the grandson, accidentally injured her waist bone, and was hospitalized for a long time.
It's also hard to think of such a thing.
Almost all of them are boys in their 10s, and such children have just grown to be more than half a person tall and have a certain male strength.
There are inevitably certain reasons for the phenomenon of violence against the mother.
Parents are accompanied by children in infancy, and generally normal children will establish an emotional attachment relationship in the company of their parents.
After all, the feelings between people and people need to be connected with love.
But if a child doesn't feel love from their parents, or not obviously, it means that the attachment relationship is not well established.
Parents do not give their children enough love to make them feel the love between this affection.
Maybe life is more about some accusations, insults, cold words and so on on.
When love is missing between parents and children, in the long run, the child will lack a psychological dependence on the family, and the soul will have nothing to rely on.
At the same time, they will show the same lack of love and respect for the people in this family.
Because the parents did not give him that love, the child treats the parents in the same way, for tat,
What is shown is that children also lack understanding, respect and love for their parents.
At the same time, if the father often appears as an authority, he threatens the child with physical violence or intimidation.
Children will also imitate this relationship pattern.
Once he feels the strength of the self physically, he will unconsciously treat people who are weaker than him in the same way.
For example, his own mother, the one who is gradually becoming weak in the family in terms of physical fitness.
The mother fails to establish an attachment relationship of love and respect with the child,
Fathers also use authority to violently treat children, establishing an example of "force" for children, which is also prone to the phenomenon of children and mothers fighting.
That is to say, such a family itself lacks love and respect, and the parents themselves have problems.
But the problem of appearance is presented in the child's behavior.
The problem of the parents themselves is not actually theirs, but the problems of the parents of the parents, which are passed down from generation to generation.
To put an end to these not-so-good patterns of relationship interaction, the current generation of parents must awaken and change.
Otherwise, the child's future is just a copy of himself.
Overprotective thought it was love
Behind every bear child, there will always be a parent who is messing around.
Why are children so powerful? Because children are the most able to observe the color, behind a child who is fighting, there must be a parent who does not know right and wrong, and the three views are not correct.
Doudou is the only child in the family, loved by his parents and grandparents.
Recently, an unpleasant thing happened at home.
Grandpa came to see Doudou, Anddou happened to be watching his favorite cartoons, and he also ignored Grandpa.
Usually Grandpa did not hurt Doudou less, seeing that Doudou did not kiss himself at all, in the past directly gently tugged at Doudou's cheek.
Maybe the elderly are too heavy to pay attention to proportions, or maybe Doudou is too squeamish, and it is not easy for others to touch her.
In short, this made the beanie angry, and shouted "Pain hurts!" ”
And also "wow wow" cried, even said blame Grandpa, think Grandpa beat him.
Grandpa coaxed Doudou, and then had to leave bored.
After Doudou's mother came home, Doudou directly complained to her mother with tears in her eyes: "Grandpa beat me!" It hurts me in the face here. ”
In front of his own mother, Doudou cried as if he had been greatly wronged.
This time, doudou's mother was angry, and the phone immediately called Doudou's father, who was still working in other provinces, and complained to Doudou's father.
Unexpectedly, Doudou's father did not think so, thinking that Grandpa would not deliberately hit the child, and the child would not be able to pinch the child twice.
This angry Doudou Mother, who has always been a protector, quarreled at once, and the roar of Doudou Mother came from the whole building.
In fact, Doudou Mama is a well-known calf protector, who loves Doudou and wants to protect him.
But in the face of such love, Doudou is likely to become the child who is destroyed in the name of love.
When parents lack correct values and have incorrect three views, they want to love but do not understand love, and treat their children with wrong love.
Parents support their children when they need it, not when they are right or wrong.
It can only be said that such parents lack growth and learning, lack of enterprising, only trapped in their own small world, self-satisfaction, satisfied with their own flawed values.
When parents do not absorb new knowledge and nutrition, they will ultimately ruin their children's growth.
Children need parents to take care of their parents to raise and nurture, not just to provide children with food, drink and school.
On this holiday season, it is rare to spend a long time with your children.
It is also a time when parents are put to the test and regain their share of their responsibilities. How to fulfill the role of parents is something that every parent needs to think about and improve.
Parents who give excessive attention and love have to put more thoughts on themselves and don't get so used to their children.
Parents who lack love and warmth for their children should learn to care more about their children's body and mind, so that children feel that they have parents.
No matter what kind of parent, they need to constantly learn how to become a qualified parent, not just rely on their own little knowledge, and want to cultivate their children well.
It must take effort and time.
But if you think of your children as the hope of your family, there is no doubt that such a sacrifice is worth it.
The future can be expected.