I have turned the book "Golden Marriage" three times, and every time I read it, I have different feelings about Tong Mu's mother-in-law.
When I first read it for the first time, I felt that although Tong's mother was more critical of Wen Li's daughter-in-law in the early stage, the more she went to the back, the more she felt the preciousness of this old lady, helping to take care of the children and take care of the housework, especially in the days when Tong Zhi was divorced, if she had not secretly hidden the household registration book, perhaps Wen Li and Tong Zhi had already been scattered under the impulse, and they would not have been able to get married.
When I saw it the second time, I felt that Tong's mother had done several things very inappropriately, especially in the treatment of her son's cheating, not only did she not discipline her son, but she also kept stressing to Wen Li that men are like this, so that the daughter-in-law should be patient.
Under careful reading, I found that Tong Mu's mother-in-law was actually not as good as she had understood before, and like many selfish mothers-in-law in reality, she only had her own son in her heart, and she had never had half a pity for Wen Li' daughter-in-law.
This, from the many words she said to Wen Li, can be seen in her selfishness as a mother-in-law.
01 What is great about going to work, the new society, which does not go to work, your sisters, which are cleaner than you here, people also go to work.
The first time Tong Mu came, she showed her majesty and rudeness as a mother-in-law.
While whispering to Wen Li, the little daughter-in-law, with thorns in her mouth, while nagging her son with a gun and a stick, the family is full of ash, and the implication is that Wen Li's daughter-in-law is too lazy.
Tong Zhi explained that everyone was too busy to go to work and did not have time for hygiene.
Tong's mother said to her son again: "What is great about going to work, the new society, which does not go to work, your sisters' homes, which ones are cleaner than you here, people also go to work." ”
Tong Mother's words for a husband who is not firm in his stance can easily make the couple have a gap. One sentence not only erases the daughter-in-law's credit in this family, but also gives the son a hint that "the housework should be done by the woman" and "the daughter-in-law is too lazy".
The first time they met Tong Mu, she did not hide her dissatisfaction with Wen Li, and even gave a full ma wei, but this time ma wei, not only did not let Wen Li respect her, but let her have the idea of "respecting and staying away from her" in her heart.
Home is the home of two people, the same as the small couple who work, for the housework must have their own division of labor, as a mother-in-law, a little family of the husband and wife, to break the original harmonious family rules between the husband and wife, this is really inappropriate.
02 Men do big things, all day round around the stove like something, how your mother taught you.
Wen Li was spoiled from an early age, did not do any housework, after marriage, Tong Zhi also let her spoil her everywhere, never let her cook.
Tong's mother looked at Wen Li, who was busy in the kitchen and did not know where the oil pot was, and her heart instantly understood that this daughter-in-law must have never cooked at home, and her son was also summoned to death by her.
Tong's mother was distressed about her son, and she became more and more dissatisfied with Wen Li, and couldn't help but educate her, "Men do big things, and they revolve around the stove all day long, how your mother taught you."
Now in this era, it has long ceased to pay attention to the male and female protagonists, everyone goes to work during the day to make money, and goes home together at night to do housework, some mother-in-law is distressed about her son, and she is not accustomed to her son cooking and washing dishes, thinking that these are what women should do. Such an idea is really selfish, and it is easy to raise a "giant baby" husband and let a woman live a widowed marriage.
03 Getting married and living a life should be based on the taste of the husband, is it not a reason not to do it? Who is born to ah, will not learn.
It is normal for a mother to be sad about her children, but to say this to her daughter-in-law, is she treating her daughter-in-law as an old mother or a nanny for her son?
Before marriage, each daughter-in-law was also the treasure of her parents, she could not cook, she could not wash, her parents left her good food and drink, why after marriage, she had to give up her independence and live for men.
Wen Li grew up pampered, Tong Mother just came to the first day, she gave her the whole pot of paste rice, knowing that Wen Li did not eat spicy, but also deliberately put enough peppers in the dish, the bowl of meat all picked out for the son, fully interpreted a "bad mother-in-law" image that does not treat the daughter-in-law as a person.
I have to say that from the beginning of Tong Mu's appearance, every sentence and every action is full of meanness and malice towards Wen Li.
04 You have to be considerate of him, think about the problem from his point of view, and don't always think of yourself.
Li Tianjiao openly admitted that he and Tong Zhi were in a romantic relationship, and after Wen Li, who was far away in Beijing, knew about it, he went to the factory to find a leader and made a big fuss before transferring Tong Zhi back from the third line.
After returning, Tong Zhi's temperament changed drastically, li Tianjiao became his "person who can't mention it", and the relationship between the two became more and more stiff in the quarrel.
Tong's mother also broke her heart for the sake of the two of them, but she did not persuade her son to cheat, but instead advised Wen Li to be more considerate of Tong Zhi, not to be so selfish, and only think of herself. In the original work, the two have this dialogue:
Mother Tong said: Her father in the south has not been in a good mood lately, and you must be considerate of him.
Wen Li said: I am considerate enough, clothes to reach out and open my mouth, children's education is all in my charge, how do I have to be considerate.
Tong Mother said: Men have to do things, he has nothing to do now, his heart is on fire, you have an awkward fight with Dazhi all day long, I will give you some constructive advice, you have to think about the problem from his point of view, don't always think of yourself.
The son and an unmarried woman entangled together, the photo of the two was published in the newspaper, and the woman also admitted that the two were in love, which should be unbearable for any woman.
Tong's mother did not educate her son, but in turn blamed her daughter-in-law for being too careful, not understanding her son enough, only blindly considering her own feelings, making trouble with her son all day long, disturbing the family's house, and hindering her son's career.
I don't know if the identity exchange between the two people, it is the father-in-law who cheated, whether the mother-in-law can still be so brazen, righteously complete the father-in-law's career, and even gracefully settle the back house, so that he can enjoy this "love" without any worries.
05 I'm a, and I cry with him in my heart, even like some people, as long as my husband stays in front of me, I don't want anything.
The second time Wen Li stirred up Tong Zhi's promotion path, she learned that the party secretary of the branch factory that Tong Zhi wanted to go to was Li Tianjiao, so she found Master Sun behind Tong Zhi's back, and she hard to remove Tong Zhi's name under the soft and hard bubble.
Tong's mother saw through Wen Li's careful thinking, looked at her depressed son all day, and couldn't help but complain to her daughter-in-law:
A man's political life is as important as life, I am wind in my heart to follow him to tears, oh, even like some people, as long as the husband stays in front of him, he doesn't want anything.
Since Tong's mother fell ill, she was taken over by Wen Li, and for many years, she took care of Tong's mother as if she were her own mother, but in the end, she did not get any pity from her.
The son cheated, the nose at home all day is not the nose eye is not the eye, but also scolded Wen Li vicious, she never reprimanded her son half a sentence, but blamed Wen Li for dragging her son's hind legs, only thinking about the husband and wife together, never thinking about the future of her son.
But I never thought that as far as my daughter-in-law was concerned, her family was scattered, and what else would she do in the future!
06 My son I know that he is outside, no matter how far he goes, he is tired of walking, he still has to go home, you don't always argue with him, you leave him a way home
The most selfish time for Tong's mother was to use her own death to brainwash Wen Li, saying that Tong Zhi was very pitiful and asking her to leave a path for Tong Zhi.
Before dying, she said this to Wen Li:
No one can be like a newlywed for a lifetime, men are actually very pitiful, you think that only women are afraid of old age, men are also afraid of Oh, men live to be in their fifties, there are old and young, a lot of burdens on the career family, very annoying and rare.
Mother Tong grabbed Wen Li's hand, her voice became gentler, and said: My son, I know, he is outside, no matter how far he walks, tired of walking, or he still has to go home, you don't always argue with him, you leave him a way home.
Tong's mother has always been transparent, her heart is like a mirror, she knows that her son loves Li Tianjiao, and she also knows that Li Tianjiao is not suitable for Tong Zhi, and it is impossible to be as virtuous and industrious as Wen Li and live a down-to-earth life.
She also clearly knows that the kind Wen Li has always loved Tong Zhi without complaint, so she must also use the kindness of her daughter-in-law to arrange a back road for her son until she dies.
She was afraid that her son was really confused for a while and divorced, and when his wife and daughter were scattered and dumped by Li Tianjiao, she became a lonely and helpless person, so she used her status as an elder and with a gesture of prayer to ask Wen Li to fulfill her last wish: If Tong Zhi committed a mistake and was dumped by Li Tianjiao, she would accept him back home.
I have to say that Tong's mother really broke her heart for her son, the son is the meat on the tip of her heart, Wen Li, the daughter-in-law, even if she waits for her to grow old, is still an "outsider" after all.
In the final analysis, Wen Li has worked hard for this family all her life, and has worked hard to serve the family, but no matter how much sincerity she pays, no matter how good, in the eyes of Tong Mother, she will never be able to surpass her son, and her weight in Tong Mother's heart is at best a free nanny who can take care of her son and take care of the family.
07 Conclusion
When I was young, I watched "Golden Marriage" and always felt that Tong Mu was a transparent old man, especially in the later stage, as she grew older, she often had some warm interactions with Wen Li.
After reading the original work, I found that she is really an extremely selfish mother-in-law, she has most of the characteristics of "evil mother-in-law", only the son in her heart, no matter what the son does wrong, always find mistakes in the daughter-in-law, even if the son cheats, she also feels that it is the daughter-in-law who quarrels every day to upset him, which leads to the son's cheating.
The son's career is not a strange daughter-in-law hinders his future, the son cheats on the daughter-in-law too much, the son makes a divorce and blames the daughter-in-law for quarreling every day, the child's education is not good, the daughter-in-law blames the daughter-in-law, even if the daughter-in-law washes her face with tears all day long for her son's cheating, and she wants to accept her son's change of heart in the future.
In the eyes of Tong's mother, a woman should take a man as the sky, should selflessly contribute to the family, should bow her knees to serve her husband, tolerate all her husband's faults, even if her husband cheats, she must swallow all tears, and call back his return with tenderness and waiting.
Under the brainwashing of this subversion of the three views, Wen Li, who originally had an independent personality and could not tolerate sand in her eyes, gradually became a small daughter-in-law who endured hard work and resentment.
This reminds me of the pregnant woman who was pushed off a cliff by her husband in Thailand, and her mother-in-law once hated and said to her: You are not dead, why do you have to call the police to arrest my son, he is your husband, why do you want to hurt him.
What a ridiculous remark, his own son killed and made a mistake, but blamed others for killing his son.
Mother Tong's mother-in-law, in fact, there are many in this society, I hope you have not met.