Introduction: "Golden Marriage" is a TV series about family ethics, telling the story of Wen Li and Tong Zhi's 50-year marriage, from youth love to middle-aged disgust and then to old age. They have experienced the changes of the times, the pain of parenting, and although they have come to the end of their lives together, IMHO, they are really losers in raising children.
Wen Li and Tong Zhi had four children in total, the eldest daughter Yanni, the second daughter Nanfang, the third daughter Duoduo, and the younger son Dabao. Yan Ni and Dabao are wen li and Tong Zhi's beloved, while nanfang and duoduo are correspondingly ignored, after all, there are many children in the family and they can't take care of it.
1. Tong Nanfang
Tong Nanfang is the second daughter of Wen Li and Tong Zhi, and is also the most well-behaved one. But the life of the South is a life of lack of love, different from a lot of rebellion and willfulness, the South understands people's heartache, she knows how to study hard to obey well when she is very young, her parents will like themselves, and when she grows up, she is more tolerant everywhere in marriage, because she is too lacking in love, too much want to be loved, so she is tolerant everywhere, everywhere restraint.
Nanfang has never been Wen Li and Tong Zhi's favorite, their favorite is Yanni and Dabao, after Nanfang was born, because the second child was not a boy, coupled with the poor environmental conditions at that time, so Nanfang was sent to Grandma's house in Sichuan, and this stay lasted for six years.
When it was time to bring the south back, Wen Li was very distressed when she saw it. She took Nanfang to wash her hands, and Nanfang told Wen Li, "Grandma said that when she comes to her mother's house, she should pay special attention to hygiene, otherwise my mother will not like me."
When I grew up in the south, I sometimes felt like a guest, because Wen Li always respected her, unlike Dabao and Yanni, who should say it and scolded it, and this way of getting along with it increased the sense of alienation for the south.
Nanfang once said to Tong Zhi, "I am particularly annoyed by my mother's enthusiasm for me, I feel that she does not treat me as a family member at all, I often dream that my mother does not want me, push me out, since you love me, how did you want to send me to my grandmother's house in the first place?" ”
Tong Zhi said to Nanfang in a serious tone, "When your mother gave birth to you, high blood pressure caused eclampsia, and her feet were so swollen that she couldn't even wear shoes, I said Bao Daren, your mother has to protect the child, and she will give birth to you desperately, you can not love this family, you can also hate your father, but you can only hate your mother." ”
Later, under tong Zhidi's pacification, Nanfang and Wen Libing released their previous suspicions, which seemed to be reconciled, but in fact, there was still a shadow in their hearts, and this shadow was directly reflected in the southern attitude towards marriage.
Nanfang and Suge went to the United States after marriage, but sugo suffered from testicular cancer, resulting in two years of no married life in the south, so Suge was very guilty and wanted to stay away from the south everywhere. But how could the South leave Sugo? South grew up insecure, she longed for love and warmth, Sugo gave her love and warmth, how could she leave Sugo in his most difficult times? Therefore, she was cautious and tolerant at every turn, carefully comforting Su Ge.
The south is a girl I am very distressed, she is so sensible, just want others to like herself, the more she lacks love, the more she will cherish happiness, but unfortunately she is so difficult to go. She was sent away from a young age, and only returned to her strange home when she grew up, and this strangeness and trepidation continued her entire growth process.
After growing up, she will use her full strength in love, Su Ge is a little better for her, she will desperately be good to Su Ge, even if she has not been sexless, she will have the confidence to find a man who is better for him and healthier, but she does not have this courage and confidence, she needs love too much, and will take Su Ge as a springboard in her life, as a life-saving straw.
Second, Tong Duoduo
Tong Duoduo is the third oldest in the family, the youngest daughter of Wen Li and Tong Zhi, and the least expected child. Because Wen Li always wanted a boy, but gave birth to a girl, and duoduo was born because of the tight family conditions, Wen Li originally thought of inheriting to the eldest sister, and later when Tong Zhi went to report the hukou, he lied that Duoduo's age had defrauded the state's urban hukou special food stamps, and Wen Li left Duoduo for the sake of food stamps.
Duo duo has been living in a loveless environment since childhood, but unfortunately, Wen Li and Tong Zhi did not realize it at all, and in their hearts, they felt that they had done enough well without letting their children lack clothes and food. In fact, in reality, many parents also think so, always feel that it is enough to let children have no worries about food and clothing, but they do not know that the barrenness of the spiritual world is more terrible than the barrenness of real life, and Duoduo is a poor person in the spiritual world.
Toto is a child who is not favored by her parents, and she grew up alone from an early age, not liked by anyone. Duoduo has had many miscarriages, all of which are the consequences of the rebellious and willful nature of the early years, which is a kind of hurt to himself, a catharsis of feelings, and an indictment and dissatisfaction with his parents.
3. Tong Sibo
Dabao is the youngest son of Wen Li and Tong Zhi, and also the most loved child, and has given birth to three daughters in a row in order to have a son.
Wen Li just started to give birth to Dabao, thought it was a daughter, a face of unhappiness, put to the side to hug did not want to hug, until Tong Zhi picked up the child to change the diaper only to find out that it was a son, suddenly excited to let Wen Li see, Wen Li did not believe at first, quickly asked if it was the wrong child, and later confirmed that after the ecstatic embrace in the arms.
Since having Dabao, Wen Li's waist plate and bottom are also obviously tough a lot, often take her son out to show off all kinds, proudly show her son to others, at home is more fully devoted to Dabao, in the mouth is afraid of melting, holding in the hand afraid of falling, if someone asks why Wen Li is so partial to Dabao, is it because he is well-behaved and sensible? In fact, there is no special reason, just because Dabao is a boy, wenli's old son, and it is a treasure that Wenli only got after giving birth to three daughters in a row.
Wen Li has been doting on Dabao from childhood to adulthood, even if Dabao grows up and becomes a big and small guy, Wen Li is also constantly caring for Dabao, often staring at Dabao drinking milk every day, cold or hungry, fat or thin, it can be said that as long as Dabao is around, Wen Li's eyes are absolutely no one else.
It is precisely because of this kind of coddling that Dabao was indisputable and unreasonable at the beginning, and his rebellious heart was far better than his three sisters.
Summary: Wen Li and Tong Zhi are parents, but they have killed their three children. The south and duoduo lack love, and have not been close to them since childhood, and Dabao is overdone, resulting in not learning no technique at a young age. When the children grow up and complain about their eccentricity, they begin to talk about their hardships with a handful of snot and tears, as if the faults are all the children's own and have nothing to do with them.
This is the evil of parenthood, knowing that the conditions are bad and you have to be born, after giving birth, you don't care, you won't be a good parent, you can only grope and learn to be a good parent, and when you learn, half your life has passed, and the children have grown up, but they are treated as guinea pigs in the south and many, and their childhood can never come back.
Then Duoduo, because of the lack of love, looking for a sense of security everywhere, did not expect to have many miscarriages, the south because of the lack of love, will lack of deeper thinking and determination on marriage, and Dabao because too doting, do not understand, often provoke chaos, let Wen Li and Tong Zhilao sad.
All this is caused by Wen Li and Tong Zhi themselves, they either give attention to one child, or completely ignore another child, always going to the extreme, unable to find a balance point for pampering children.
And "do not suffer from widowhood but suffer from inequality", in a family with four children, no matter which child is favored a little is a sin of parents, not to mention that Wen Li and Tong Zhi are still so eccentric, and what is more excessive is that in reality, many parents have a common feature, that is, it is difficult to admit that they are biased, and they will all boil down to the fact that the children themselves are not good enough.
Life is like a drama, drama is like life, through "Golden Marriage", I saw the biggest "evil" of parenthood, that is, to be born without raising, to raise without teaching, Wen Li and Tong Zhi did not kill but would "curse the heart", ruined duoduo and the south's childhood, ruined their heart to pursue family affection, and also left when the south and the first half of their lives needed their parents the most, and when they no longer had the luxury to appear as parents, let them grow up upside down, this is the biggest evil of parenthood.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)
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Author: A wonderful person in the world, a post-90s code word young woman who has faith in her heart and strength under her feet, like me, I will pay attention to me!