Many parents have the same feelings, children who enter puberty are reluctant to communicate with their parents, the more parents want to communicate with their children, the more annoyed the children are, and some people call this phenomenon "generation gap". The "generation gap" is a common problem between children and their parents. When dealing with this problem, parents must not be too anxious, should try to think and understand the problem from the perspective of the child, and at the same time communicate with the child more, so that they can become the child's friend who "keeps pace with the times", so as to eliminate the generation gap and make the parent-child relationship more harmonious.
Let's look at an example like this: After winter and winter went to junior high school, they talked to their parents less and less. At the dinner table, he always walked away after eating without a word; when his mother asked about his studies, he always said a few words and said nothing more. Parents feel that their children are getting farther and farther away from themselves, but Dong Dong feels that parents do not understand their own ideas, and there is no point in talking too much.
Children entering adolescence, physical and intellectual development, they are enthusiastic, cheerful, the pursuit of personality and self, but lack of patience and perseverance, they want to be recognized and respected by others, but parents are accustomed to arranging everything for them, hoping that they will live according to their parents' ideas.
Thus, the generation gap arises, which is a very normal phenomenon. However, if left unchecked, the differences between children and parents will increase and communication will become more difficult.
So, what can parents do to eliminate the "generation gap" with their children?
Method one, communicate more with your child and listen to your child's views on life.
Parents should learn to be considerate of their children, communicate more with their children, and let their children understand their parents' ideas. With sincere communication and exchange, there will be fewer and fewer conflicts and misunderstandings.
One mom put it this way:
"After the child went to junior high school, he became less fond of talking to his family. Sometimes, if I don't take the initiative to talk to her, she even does. Wouldn't talk to us all day. At first, I thought that children had grown up and become introverted, but later through observation, I found that when children and children of the same age were together, they were talking and laughing and happy.
"I think that if I continue like this, I will become more and more strange with my children, and it is time to have a good talk with my children."
"Initially when I went to talk to the child, he acted very cold. When chatting, he was also often silent. So, I said to him: Mom is also from your age, and I know that children of this age now feel that there is a big difference between their concepts and their parents, and they feel that there is a generation gap between them and their parents. But you never say how to know that you and your mother don't think the same way
Listening to my words, the child gradually opened the conversation box. This communication with the child, I think is very successful. I also agreed with my child that if there is anything unhappy or dissatisfied in the future, I will bring it up to my mother in time, whether it is right or wrong, we can discuss it.
After this, I often took time to chat with the child, and occasionally talked to her about some of my problems in life, and the child would give me his opinion, which made me very pleased. ”
Mutual understanding is based on the premise of communication. If both parties remain silent, in the long run, the parent-child relationship will only get worse and worse.
There is a saying that goes something like this: Gentle preaching is far better than harsh harshness. On the one hand, parents should not be too strict with their children's discipline, and should try to give children the space to do what they like; on the other hand, if the child does do wrong, parents should not immediately rebuke loudly, and can make her realize the mistakes she has made like a friend.
Method two, accept the fact that the child has grown up, and give the child the respect he deserves.
Many parents are often used to taking care of everything for their children, and they are also accustomed to their children's obedience from an early age. However, after the child enters puberty, he forms his own views on things, at this time, parents should realize that the child has grown up and can no longer arrange his life as he did when he was a child.
Parents should learn to listen to their child's ideas, and no matter what she says, they should wait for him to say what he thinks and then express his opinion. If parents find themselves doing something wrong, they should apologize and let the child know that the relationship between the two parties is equal, and whoever makes the mistake must take responsibility.
In general, communication is the best way to eliminate the generation gap between adolescent children and parents, in this regard, parents should take the initiative to learn some communication skills, fully respect the child, so as to win the trust of the child, so that both sides reach an understanding, and then eliminate the generation gap.
Method three, understand the characteristics of children's puberty, and give children more help in life and learning.
As children grow older, children's knowledge ability and vision increase, children gradually have their own judgments and opinions on the things around them.
Therefore, when the child enters junior high school, the parents cannot use the same set of methods that manage the child to demand them. In the childhood stage, they take obedience as the main way of behavior, and what parents say has absolute authority in front of them. However, once children enter puberty, they are developing rapidly from both psychological and physical point of view, and the desire for independence is their main psychological characteristic.
A self-centered child will inevitably conflict with the authority of the parents, and the smooth communication and communication between parents and children requires parents to change their roles and ways, not blindly relying on high-pressure means, and need to stand on the child's position and think about solving problems in the child's way of thinking. In this way, parents and children can understand each other and reach a consensus.
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