I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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Sister gives brother money to get married?
In a family that was not wealthy, 11 sisters gave their brothers 320,000 marriages, of which 230,000 were used to buy houses in the county, and the rest were used for weddings and bride price.
At that time, as soon as the news came out, "son preference" and "brother support" became hot words.
This family is a typical "son for birth" family, and in the end the son's wedding and house are provided by the sister, is the daughter living for the son?
This was the most vocal view and evaluation at the time.
He gave birth to his first child at the age of 23 and a son at the age of 50
The first daughter in this family was born when the father was 23 and the mother was 20.
At that time, they probably didn't expect to have so many children.
Since the birth of their first daughter, they have given birth to daughters one after another.
At that time, it was the period of family planning, and there was a constant risk of detention if the fine could not be paid.
So the family is very poor, but despite this, the two people still do not waver in their belief in having a son.
It wasn't until the father was 50 and the mother was 27 that their 12th child was born, this time as a boy.
The only little boy in the family, 27 years younger than the eldest sister, is of course the baby of the whole family.
The older sisters all grew up wearing patched clothes, except for the younger brother who wore new clothes all the time.
The sisters are reluctant to eat, reluctant to drink, and keep good things for their brothers.
At that time, some daughters were already married, so although the family was poor, the 12 brothers still grew up in the honeypot and did not suffer a little.
The whole family provided him with education, but unfortunately he did not have talent, and he dropped out of high school.
When he was 22 years old, his girlfriend was pregnant, and 11 sisters pooled money to hold a beautiful wedding for his brother, and also prepared a house for his brother in the county, which attracted the attention of the media and netizens across the country.
If you want to have a son, do you have to prefer sons to daughters?
In the face of netizens' doubts, the sisters responded that their parents do not prefer sons to daughters, but just want a son, they grow up, their parents dutifully take care of them, give them a warm home, although the family is poor, but they are full of heart.
In fact, from the attitude of the sisters, they are optimistic and cheerful, they really love their brothers, in order to reduce the burden on their elderly parents, they are willing to do this for their parents, willing to bear all the expenses of their brothers and the cost of marriage.
This just shows the humanity and warmth of this family, indicating that the parents are well educated.
"Son preference" has become a very sensitive word, and families who want to have sons can easily be labeled "son preference".
What exactly is son preference?
Differentiating between boys and girls, providing boys with good material conditions, and requiring girls to give way to boys is patriarchalism.
In order to give birth to boys, they continue to beat the fetus, even at the expense of harming their health, in order to be able to pass on the inheritance and pass on the incense, which is a preference for sons and daughters.
If parents provide a relatively warm and equal family environment for their children, but are forced by local customs to have sons, is this a son preference?
It can only be said that they are responsible for their own choices, but they are not patriarchal, or that they do not have such thoughts in their hearts, but they are forced to do so by the pressure of reality.
There is also a kind of family that wants to have a son and does not want to have a daughter because the mother does not want to see her daughter suffer the same as herself in the future, but when the daughter comes, she will completely change her mind and love her daughter very much.
Families who are not optimistic are now happy
At the beginning, many people predicted that their happiness was only temporary, and that after the youngest son got married, he would be farther and farther away from his sisters.
Usually when we make predictions about a person and a thing, we will be based on our own experiences, insights and patterns, so there are great subjective factors.
After the family received attention, it gradually faded out of the public eye and returned to her own life trajectory, and only the second sister would share her family's life and personal feelings online.
In fact, the family is still harmonious and happy, unfortunately, the mother died last year, which caused great pain to the wife and children, but the sister and brother are still in love with each other and take care of each other.
People say "from a young age to see the big", from a small age to see the big is not only the personality, but also the relationship.
In a family, the relationship between children is not accidental, but inevitable, and this necessity is based on the character of the children.
From the love and concern of the 11 sisters for their younger brothers, it can be seen that their feelings for their younger brothers are deeply rooted in their bones, not a scene, and the brother's love and dependence on their sisters have also been established after more than 20 years.
This kind of feeling between sisters and brothers can not be changed one day, plus the age gap, that is, people often say that "the eldest sister is like a mother".
So there is no need to contradict the tune, and the family will continue to be happy.
Isn't love between children a virtue?
In fact, there is no contradiction between children, and the contradiction between brothers and sisters all comes from the inappropriate guidance of parents.
Inadequate parental guidance, or an unfair attitude towards their children, will cause contradictions and hatred between siblings.
Brothers and sisters love each other, understand each other, older brothers and sisters can help younger siblings as much as they can, and younger siblings respect older siblings, which is itself a traditional Chinese virtue.
The formation of this virtue is directly related to the guidance and attitude of the family and parents.
If the parents have limited ability, the capable brother or sister supports the younger siblings financially, this is a very normal thing, and the younger siblings will be grateful in the future and will give a certain amount of feedback.
There are two such sisters among good friends, because the age gap with the sister is relatively large, the sister has been based on the society, with a certain economic ability, the sister is still studying, the sister took the initiative to bear the sister's tuition and living expenses, and the husbands of the two of them supported this.
Isn't the point of family existence to warm each other and help each other at the right time?
In the face of your family, don't worry too much about gains and losses.
But all these harmonious pictures are based on the good education and guidance of parents, as well as the fair and just attitude of parents towards their children.
In the final analysis, if you want your children to get along well, your parents are the key people.