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Recently, I have been reading "Emotional Apocalypse", which contains a large number of extramarital affair cases, and after studying thousands of extramarital affair cases, I have come up with three cruel truths about human nature, and I will use three stories to explain these three heart-wrenching truths.
01
"My daughter-in-law, if you want to marry you for your social status, if you treat her like this, then she deserves it; if she wants you to have money, she marries you, and you deserve to treat her like this; if she wants to marry you like this, it is a sin that deserves death!"
This is the classic line in the TV series "A Tree of Peach Blossoms", in the play, Bloom reunited with junior high school classmate Luo Yaohui because of an accident, she did not care that Luo Yaohui had no room and no money, and it did not take long for him to secretly get a license behind his back.
In order to make her daughter's life better, Sheng's mother also spent more than 100,000 yuan to decorate the old house for her daughter, and Sheng's brother paid for his sister to build a toilet for himself, eliminating the inconvenience of running the public toilet.
It is reasonable to say that the Luo family did not produce a single cent, not only married a college student, but also improved their living standards, which should be very good for blooming.
But no, blooming this kind of "upside-down" way, instead of winning the respect of the mother-in-law, was looked down upon, and Luo Mu even said evil words to Sheng's mother: "Why do you make such a big capital, it is not because you know that your daughter is leftovers left over by men." ”
In real life, we often hear that many girls "upside down" like a bloom for love, and finally end up not being cherished, their husbands cheating, and the end of hastily divorced.
In marriage, the most cruel human truth is that people and things that people do not pay too much for themselves and easily get are difficult to cherish.
02
Think of a former middle school classmate of mine, Little A, is a very beautiful girl, the class likes her a lot of boys, Small B is one of them, in the poor pursuit of Small B, the two came together smoothly, the university also passed the same school, love long-distance running for 6 years, after graduation successfully married, is a very envious "fairy couple" in the eyes of classmates.
Later, at a class reunion, I overheard that they were divorced, and the reason was that the man was cheating!
After careful understanding, I learned that After graduation, Xiao B did sales in a private company, because he himself grew tall and tall, a table of talents, and was smart and capable, which was very appreciated by the boss. The boss's only daughter also works in the company, and because of the boss's relationship, the two came and went and came together. But the boss's daughter doesn't want to be with Little B so inexplicably, she wants a perfect marriage.
Therefore, Xiao B filed for divorce with Xiao A, and even went out of the house at the expense of netting.
Xiao A tried to use the relationship between the two for many years to save the marriage, but Xiao B has changed her heart, no matter how she pleads, she must also insist on divorce.
In the original words of Xiao B: After so many years with Xiao A, I have long since stopped loving her, and I now like the boss's daughter very much, and after marrying her, I can at least fight for ten years less!
After the divorce, Xiao B and the boss's daughter soon married, and the boss also handed over the company to Xiao B to take care of, and Xiao B began to mix well, and his career became better and better.
Little A returned to his hometown after the divorce, and then there was no more news. I've heard a saying before: never underestimate the reproductive desire of men at the bottom and the rising desire of men at the middle.
The marriage of the bottom men, most of them do not care whether the girls are beautiful or not, what the family conditions are, they only want a woman who can have children, whether there is an emotional basis, it does not matter.
And for a middle-level man, if they have the opportunity, they want more of a kennai who can help them struggle for a few years. Of course, this is the same as most women want to marry a man with good family conditions. Because the nature of living things is to seek advantage and avoid harm, and people are no exception.
Another harsh truth in marriage is that most marriages are not pure, and most of them are the result of weighing the pros and cons.
03
I don't know if you remember Luo Ziqun in the TV series "The First Half of My Life". When Luo Ziqun was young, he felt that love was all there was, and he thought that if he did not marry Bai Guang, he would not be able to live.
Despite the objections of his mother and sister, he insisted on marrying Bai Guang, thinking that he could drink water and be full, but the truth was: the poor couple was sad.
In real life, most of the girls who want to make money in the picture room generally end up having a better life, while those girls who gamble with their youth, regardless of their parents' objections, only want to love, most of them lose more miserably.
Why? Because in marriage, 80% of the troubles can be solved with money, and the remaining 20% can also be eased with money.
Of course, this is not to persuade everyone to material, but the most beautiful love, but also to use the material as the basis of feelings, think about it yourself, after the two get married, it is chai rice oil and salt, a green onion also costs money to buy, not to mention the milk powder money and education fees after giving birth.
Falling in love may be able to have enough water, but marriage is not OK, and children can't always drink boiled water, right?
When two people enter a marriage without material basis security, love will be exhausted in chai rice oil and salt, leaving only a chicken feather, and the final outcome is likely to be divorce or infidelity.
Just like Luo Ziqun in the play, he also briefly cheated on a hair stylist.
The last cruel truth in marriage is that a marriage without a material basis is a mess.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205