Author: Ma Xiaocong
Source: Huaizuo classmate (hztongxue)
When I was in college, I tried my best to like someone, but the response I ended up getting was that he didn't like me. I used to think that I could succeed in everything with hard work, but then I gradually discovered that many things were barely possible.
Seriously, those delayed responses are actually saying that you love the wrong person. It's just a pity that we delude ourselves into pretending not to see.
Today I want to tell three stories, some of which belong to me and some of which belong to others. These stories are all about love, and the ending of the story ends with regret.
After walking around, I can feel what kind of feelings love is, I can feel it.
01 Unrelated people
The first story comes from Little A, a friend I met in college. I hadn't been in touch with her for a long time, and at New Year's, she said her boyfriend had broken up with her.
I was shocked because I thought they were going to get married.
Little A is a gentle and kind girl who is in a college with her favorite boy. The two were inseparable in college, and we both thought they had been together for a long time, and later I also heard her say that people had been playing with her.
In the eyes of our others, they are a pair made in heaven, they tacitly understand each other's thoughts with a look, as long as they see them together, they will think that the two are lovers.
They like the same band, drink the same milk tea, eat the same fruit. Little A never let the boy's words fall to the ground, even if it is difficult to pick up, she will answer perfectly. And the boy was full of preferences for her, giving her beautiful dolls and taking her to eat delicious snacks.
The year I graduated, I thought the two would eventually be together, but what I didn't expect to wait for was Little A's crying.
Later, a girl added Xiao A's WeChat and said straight to the point that she was the boy's girlfriend, and the two had been together for three years.
This is the most unexpected, for three years, Little A genuinely likes the boy, and the boy is talking about marriage with another girl.
Little A told me she was sad and angry, and she said she was never sorry for the boy. Seriously, I feel sorry for her, for her desperate love for someone, but in the end it is like this.
I think it's strange, how can everyone be so doing such a thing? On the one hand, he accepted the kindness of his old girlfriend, and on the other hand, he accepted that another girl liked him.
What bothered Little A the most was that the boy ended up saying that she was an irrelevant person.
Looking at the chat page, I can understand Little A's anger, but I don't know how to reply to her.
From graduation to work, I have seen more people's points and combinations, and I used to think that feelings are a lock, which can lock two people who love each other firmly together. Later, I found out that especially campus love, like sharing bicycles, everyone can go up and ride a ride, and after riding a car, it is nothing more than spending some time and money. Sometimes even time and money don't need to be spent, just a few sweet words can coax us around.
The so-called tacit understanding is mostly a scene; the so-called forever, it is also the graduation ceremony.
Many people, do not care so much at all, enthusiasm will dissipate with separation, really want to take responsibility, want to go to the end, very few people.
02 I didn't want to go to the end with you
The second story comes from Xiao B, a netizen in my WeChat friends, I have forgotten when I added it? But when she knew I was starting to write, she shared some things with me and asked me to help her organize it into text.
Little B is in his twenties, talked about a boyfriend, and is ready to get married this year if nothing else.
Unfortunately, things that are not unexpected are the most prone to accidents.
Xiao B's boyfriend works in Xinjiang and does not know what reason to return to his hometown to prepare for the civil service examination, because he does not want to be disliked by his family, so he came to her to prepare for the exam. And Little B's job is very simple, working in a cake shop, with a salary of about four thousand a month. Every day from 9 to 5, with a two-hour break in between.
Although the work is very tired, but the little B is very motivated, self-taught photography and P drawing, last year also obtained a tour guide license, I heard that I plan to learn French in the near future.
The two had a good relationship when they were in different places before, but since living together, conflicts have begun to appear and escalate.
Boys are very lazy, said to be a civil servant but refused to get up early to read, small B when he went to work he was still sleeping, the test of the book basically a few days will not turn a page, said to read the news to understand the current politics, not a moment to open the glory of the king, at night excuse tired, but also brush vibrato, the whole person is very decadent.
Not only that, he also always hit the enthusiasm of Small B, Little B because of the work to distribute cake, intend to learn electric vehicles, he volunteered to teach Little B, but after two or three days it hit Little B limb incongruity, and finally Little B is a person touching the wall to slowly learn electric vehicles.
Probably because he knows that life is not easy, Little B always wants to work hard to make himself a little more income, so he always constantly improves himself, but the boy scoffs at this. Obviously it is close to thirty years old, but when he fails the exam, he complains about the world, and he always has to get by for his future, and Xiao B does not want to see that he has nothing to do, so he always says to let him go to a class first, but he always blames her for being nosy.
In this way, in the most of the half year that they lived together, the two people always quarreled and reconciled, and Little B complained to me more than once about this boy.
But complaining about the final ending is always a sentence of "We have been together for a long time, we have met our parents, and now this is the only way." ”
I may not have found comfort here, so Little B rarely contacted me. During this time I started posting in the circle of friends, and she contacted me again and told me that she had broken up.
She said: "As I struggled to go to the future, he was standing still, I wanted to pull him along to a better tomorrow, he didn't want to, and even wanted to cover the light in my eyes." Later I understood that I was thinking about the problem complicated, he and I were not yet married, and it was best to stop the loss in time. ”
We initially fall in love with someone, and it is he who we fall in love with. At that moment, it didn't seem important what the future would be. At first, I thought that feelings were just two people liking each other. Later, I found out that in addition to liking, there is another thing called appropriateness.
Appropriateness requires two people to have similar values, or at least similar goals.
Both are working towards a better future. It's not that I'm alone carrying the burden of two people's lives and groping in reality, and it's not that I have to deal with the trivialities of life, but also deal with your troubles.
Sorry, I still have to hurry, I can't wait for you all the time.
Separating earlier is probably our best ending.
03 I really don't like you that much
I don't know if any friends remember the article I wrote before about my crush on a boy. In fact, that article is more like a farewell, saying goodbye to my liking for him over the past many years, saying goodbye to the stupidity I made for him in those years.
I thought I was writing that article to say goodbye to that person. But now that I think about it, what is more worth saying goodbye to is my own hot youth.
After the article was sent, it got a lot of repercussions, resonated with many people, and many people felt unworthy for me.
Stubborn as I was, I thought that liking him was the most correct thing I had ever done in my youth. I thought to myself that he hadn't done anything wrong, but he just didn't love me.
Unexpectedly, after the baptism of time, the aura of I liked him was extinguished, and beyond those stories, I saw some details that I had overlooked in those years.
It turned out that he wasn't just taking care of me. It turned out that he didn't deserve my burning love for him. It turns out that there are other people in the story.
I couldn't see or hear any of this, and I was a blind, deaf, or even a fool who liked him and was stubborn.
So I couldn't see the self-esteem that he had trampled on, I couldn't hear his indifferent words, I couldn't understand his lingering feelings. Later, when I stood outside the story and looked back, I felt that I was embarrassed to love him because I didn't know.
I remember working part-time and he said I wasn't doing my job. I teach students to write, and he says I'm wrong. I posted online and he said I was moaning without illness. Those achievements that I am proud of, those awards that I have won, those competitions that I have participated in, those certificates that I have obtained. In his eyes, it was all worthless.
Once stupid, I always felt that I was not good enough to deserve his like, so I always had enough strength to prove to him that I was worthy of his like.
I may have given those hot loves to the wrong person, those gentle words may have shattered to the ground, and those moments of self-touching may seem foolish to the extreme.
But it doesn't matter! I will continue to love.
Maybe I will do some wrong things in my life, I will love some wrong people, but I will still smile and face life, after all, I found that I was wrong, I turned around in time, don't feel that it is too late, it is never too late to correct mistakes in this world.
"Afterword"
The story ends here, I know that there must be someone in this world who has loved the wrong person like me, maybe because of the last relationship, we have been scarred, we have been miserable, so it is difficult for us to enter the next relationship, it is difficult to love someone as bravely as before.
But it doesn't matter, I still hope that even if we love the wrong person, we still have the courage to correct it in time. Hopefully, we can face the rest of our lives with a smile, be able to clean up a lot of chicken feathers, and be able to bravely say when we meet the next person who is excited: "Hey, I like you." ”
One of my favorite movies is called "He May Not Like You That Much", and in the ending of the movie, the protagonists have found their own perfect ending. So there's a line in the movie that I want to share with you in front of the screen.
"One day, you'll meet a wonderful man and get the perfect ending that belongs to you." It's possible that there isn't a good man in this perfect ending. Maybe it's just you who packs up and starts over. Maybe the happy ending is just to continue living, or to understand that even after all the unannounced calls and sadness, all the hints of mistakes and misunderstandings, and all the pain and embarrassment, you will never give up hope. ”
Dear you in front of the screen, no matter how difficult your life is now, whether you have been hurt in your relationship or not, I hope you will never give up.
Believe that even if we love the wrong person, there must be someone in the world who loves you.
"South Wind"
2022 Issue 2
——New Listing ——