How can anyone not like the holidays? Psychologists: Rest and pleasure are also important

Approaching the New Year, the office is filled with a joyful atmosphere, and everyone is looking forward to the holiday, and when they are idle, they discuss how to play the holidays - except for Small A.

Xiao B, a colleague in the same group, noticed it, and asked Xiao A what was going on, only to see Xiao A's brow wrinkle into a bitter melon: "When I stayed up late to catch the project before, I was also very tired and wanted to take a vacation, but now when I think of nothing to do during the holiday, I feel very uncomfortable, and I always feel that a lot of time is wasted, and I am very anxious... Alas, am I underwhelmed like this? ”

Xiao B resisted the urge to nod and hit him: "You are usually too busy at work, and your self-control is too strong to stop!" ”

Why do some people not like holidays and still feel that they are suffering?

There was a psychological study that surveyed nearly 20,000 people in more than 100 countries about how they feel about rest, and found that in addition to the pleasant, positive, and free feelings that we all think of, some people will find rest "annoying", "worrying", "guilty", and so on.

Courtesy of Visual China

Why do some people dislike the holidays and feel that they are suffering?

Little A may also be helpless: I don't want to, but I can't control these thoughts, they "run" into my head!

In the eyes of psychologists, the state of small A is "ego-fixation". Clinical psychology research has found that long-term suppression of their desire for pleasure and only the pursuit of future goals may lead to a state of self-control that is difficult to control, that is, after long-term control of themselves into work, even if they do not want to stick to work anymore, they cannot give up their obsession with work.

Why is this state?

The theory of the target system believes that when we work in our daily work, we need to control ourselves not to touch the fish in order to achieve long-term goals; and relaxation and rest, contrary to long-term goals, is a kind of current hedonistic goal. In achieving one of these goals, we need to control our thoughts to better achieve it. In most cases, we need to control the idea we want to play, to think "I need to work", "it is shameful to touch the fish", etc., to control ourselves to put into work. But if we think too much about it, these thoughts will become ingrained in our minds, and even when we rest and enjoy, these thoughts will invade our brains uncontrollably, making it impossible for us to rest and enjoy the holidays.

Have been at work for too long to get a good rest?

Positive psychology believes that there are two main ways for people to achieve happiness, one is to strive for self-realization, and the other is to enjoy instant happiness. Some people only like to enjoy instant happiness, feel that once they work, they are suppressing themselves, and they don't care what the future will be, which is of course inappropriate. But under our social norms, there are other people who will "overcorrect" and think that the former is called happiness, and the latter's temporary happiness has no meaning, let alone help happiness - then they are also wrong! The study found that people who walked both paths at the same time had the highest happiness.

As the saying goes, "Just learn and don't play, smart children become stupid.". We work hard during working hours, and we need to rest and enjoy ourselves to recover during work hours, so that we have more energy to cope with the next day's work, and more importantly, we can maintain mental health and feel happier.

In order to study pleasure, some psychologists even propose "hedonistic ability", which includes two aspects; one is not disturbed by intrusive thoughts, such as "not thinking about their duties when enjoying good times"; on the other hand, it is able to enjoy successfully, such as "often do what I want to do". Reading this, you can also reflect on yourself, is it too long to soak in the work, can not have a good rest?

In addition to sleeping, we can also rest and have fun in this way

In order to make ourselves happier, of course, we have to rest and have fun this holiday season. In Dr. Sauundra Dalton-Smith's TED Talk, 7 ways to rest are listed for our reference:

1. Body rest: including the most basic, passive sleep, as well as active yoga, stretching exercises, massage, etc.

2. Psychological rest: During the day you can arrange some short breaks to "empty your mind", and at night you can put paper and pencil next to the bed, if there are always ideas that come out and cause you to fall asleep, write them down.

3. Sensory rest: Consciously isolate external stimuli, such as closing your eyes for a minute to rest, and turn off your mobile phone before going to bed.

4. Creative rest: Let your inspiration and creativity be restored, such as going to the exhibition, going to the outdoors, etc.

5. Emotional rest: Find opportunities to freely express your true feelings instead of pleasing others.

6. Social breaks: Spend time with people who make you feel comfortable and enjoy positive interactions with them.

7. Spiritual rest: Restoring one's sense of belonging, love, acceptance, and purpose can be achieved through mindfulness meditation practices, or talk to a counselor. This is very important for getting out of the "self-solidification" state, if Little A can concentrate on feeling the feeling of the moment of relaxation, can accept his occasional thoughts of not wanting to work, and will not be trapped by the intrusive thoughts in his head.

Of course, if you feel that these methods are not as good as your previous methods, then use your own habitual way, after all, the meaning of rest and pleasure is to relax, not to make yourself more anxious. I wish you a good time enjoying the Spring Festival holiday.

Source: China Youth Daily client