Born to be human, what is human

"It's scary, motherhood is an adventurous profession."

"We both love to nag, love to comment, and deny children. Thankfully, thankfully, our children still keep us alive! Cliffhanger. ”

"Mom is worried and loves to nag."

"Now many parents themselves are under-educated, how can they educate their children well?" In fact, we all have psychological diseases. ”

The above comments are all related to the following tragedy.

"A man was nagged that he did not go to graduate school and beat his mother to death, saying that he had been favored since childhood and had a good relationship with his mother", the tragedy occurred at 3 a.m. on May 13 last year. After the incident, although the victim's husband and parents expressed forgiveness for Wang's criminal acts, they requested the court to give him a lighter or mitigated punishment. In the end, the court convicted Wang of intentional homicide and sentenced him to life imprisonment and deprivation of political rights for life.

What is puzzling and frightening about this tragedy is that according to Wang's own confession, he has lived happily at home since childhood, his mother is usually very good to himself, and his relationship with his mother has always been good. When I killed my mother, the impulse in my heart could not be suppressed. There was no urge to kill before this, and no other means of violence had been carried out.

His father said that mother and son usually do not have any contradictions, the wife usually loves her son very much, and the relationship between mother and son is very good. Wang Mou's personality is more introverted, usually does not go out much, when he is at home, he plays games and looks at computers.

Together, we think carefully about this tragedy and dig deeper, which can also help us adjust our own cognition and improve ourselves.

First, suppose that this matter is reversed.

The mother and Wang Talked about finding a job, and then began to nag, complaining that they did not review well when they took the graduate school examination, and played every day. This is not the first time that the mother nagged, Wang Mou was particularly annoyed, especially angry, and quarreled with his mother, and then went back to his house to close the door to watch a movie.

The next day at about 2 a.m., the mother went to the toilet to come back, found That Wang was still playing with the mobile phone, and nagged that he was still playing so late, not sleeping at night, not getting up during the day, and knowing how to play day by day. ”

Then Wang Mou was very sad and remorseful, guilty and ashamed, and chose to jump to relieve a thousand sorrows.

Judging from the similar events reported, it is clear that there are more such development directions. So the sad and remorseful person is naturally the mother, and the direction of public opinion will once again rebuke the mother one-sidedly.

Second, life is really hard, only self-transit.

As a parent of a child with mental illness, I believe that the first time will feel that this mother is making a big fuss, the child is fine, but he has not been admitted to graduate school, and he has not found a job for the time being, what is the big deal? Why get angry with your child and nag every day?

In fact, I think so too. Her daughter could not even complete high school normally, and going to college became a luxury. Even normal life has become the ceiling of effort. If my daughter just couldn't get into graduate school and couldn't find a job for a while, it would be a sweet annoyance, and she would wake up laughing when she fell asleep.

But in fact, when our children are better, better, and better, we are still the ordinary mothers, still lack of hearts, still nagging.

I remember a report that my daughter graduated from a prestigious school and worked as a corporate executive, but her mother, who was accustomed to high requirements, still did not spare, and finally her emotional daughter jumped from the balcony in anger.

So, do you think that you are bitter because your child is mentally ill and cannot see the future? No, it's because people don't have enough hearts.

Third, Mr. Wang Yangming said that everyone has a conscience.

Is this child really a human demon as the comments say? "Hell is empty, demons are on earth", a sentence can not simply sum up this tragedy without winners.

"The victim's husband and parents both expressed forgiveness for Wang's criminal conduct and requested the court to give Wang a lenient or mitigated punishment." "Wang Mou's personality is more introverted, usually does not go out much, when he is at home, he plays games and looks at computers."

Wang Mou is not a fierce and evil person, nor has any previous convictions, but is just a very ordinary college student. The family should understand that the mother's excessive nagging angered Wang and caused tragedy. Otherwise, the parents of the deceased will surely seek justice for their daughter.

I even suspect that if his dead mother could speak, she would probably ask the court for forgiveness and blame herself.

Mr. Wang Yangming said that everyone has a conscience, and he even gave the bandits who killed and set fire to a way to live, gave them the identity of new people, and helped them live and work in peace and contentment. It turns out that the bandits had a chance to live a good life, and their conscience dominated their behavior, and they turned back into ordinary people.

So, where is Wang's conscience in the case?

I think as one netizen analyzed that "neither mother nor child can manage and channel their emotions and stress."

And this kind of has nothing to do with age, even if you live to be forty or fifty, seventy or eighty years old, you still can't be responsible for your own emotions, and there are too many people who can't rationally control emotions.

Psychologists usually diagnose juvenile patients with mental illness as "the mood disorders that usually occur during childhood and adolescence." From the perspective of emotional disorders, as one netizen said, "In fact, we all have psychological diseases."

Fourth, the necessity of lifelong learning and lifelong growth.

I haven't read or written for many years.

The depressed daughter made me seconds back into elementary school. With a very recognizable and Allah attitude, I read the book in my hand every day, looking at the same book repeatedly, thinking quietly, and writing a lot of feelings after reading. It is also appropriate to describe it as hungry, trying to internalize the knowledge in the book into your own soul, quickly realizing the transformation of the old self, and coping with the current chicken feathers with the new self. I also desperately hope to find the direction and path of a confused life between the lines.

Life is really hard, only self-transit.

Parents read books and learn, and growing up and changing is obviously an excellent way to cross themselves.

Both material civilization and spiritual civilization are very important.

School education, years of hard work, but the direction of running to only material civilization, really solved the problem of survival very well. However, most people are very short of spiritual civilization such as spiritual growth and sound personality.

Material scarcity will be hungry and cold, but what about spiritual scarcity?

Wang's tragedy is the concentrated manifestation of the spiritual deprivation of the whole family.

Are there fewer similar tragedies?

Parents hurt children, children hurt parents... These human tragedies that make people feel cold all over the body, scolding parents for a while, scolding children for a while, and whoever survives will scold whoever survives anyway. Is it interesting to swear around?

We should use human ability to think and act to find the best way to solve problems.

To me, I am just an ordinary person, the mother of a mentally ill child. In a way, it's still a failed parent. But the effort I can make is, through my words, to call on more people to attach importance to the construction of spiritual civilization, accumulate spiritual wealth like accumulating material wealth, pay attention to mental health, learn more about spiritual growth and sound personality, and learn to speak well and communicate non-violently.

As long as you want, you can be happy, believe in yourself, believe in the power of belief.