Two days ago, Huawei shared his reading experience with me, and he deliberately emphasized a person's natural advantages and inner qualities.
When I heard about the advantages of talent and the inner qualities, many images came to mind, all about children.
Maybe in the past two years, I have read a lot of educational books, learned a lot of parenting courses, and some of my explorations of my own growth, I feel as if I have returned to the original point after some searching.
Parenting according to the nature of children is the best way for parents to raise children
This origin is to raise children, to follow the child's natural development to raise children.
What is the nature of that child?
What I understand is some of the natural nature of children at all ages with unique selves.
In other words, due to the genetic inheritance of each child, his natural advantage has been formed as early as the womb.
In fact, children are not born with "a blank piece of paper" and can be smeared by parents at will.
For example, in the matter of reading, some children are difficult to read, and they can't learn well. But some children are good at reading, and the teacher can talk about it, as long as they learn, they can be deeply involved.
This is the individual difference, and the deepest reason for this difference comes from the child's own innate advantage, with genetic imprints.
Why is it easier for scholars to produce knowledgeable people? This is an important reason.
Parenting according to the child's nature and allowing the child to show his unique natural advantages is the best way for parents to raise children.
Of course, this natural parenting method, the sooner parents know the better, the sooner the better to use.
In the book "Core Nature Parenting Law" by boy parenting expert Michael Gurion, there are principles for the natural parenting of children aged 0-18.
Next, let's first talk about the natural parenting method of 0-1 year old children.
Parenting is based on the child's natural needs, rather than ignoring the needs of small babies
A newborn baby aged 0-1 has just come into this world, and all he can do every day is eat, drink, and sleep, and use his cries and smiles to express and connect with his mother and the outside world.
During this time, the mother is the baby's only dependent.
Hungry, pulling, peeing and other basic physical needs, in addition to hugging, feeling love and warmth and other psychological needs, these need to be met by the mother.
Breastfeeding, changing diapers, singing lullabies, smiling at children, responding to children in a timely manner, etc. are all ways for mothers to meet their children's needs, and this unconditional satisfaction of newborn babies is natural upbringing.
Parenting is based on the child's natural needs, rather than ignoring the needs of small babies.
Once, there was a very popular parenting method that was proposed by the behaviorist psychologist Watson.
"Give me a dozen healthy babies and I can train them into any kind of person—doctors, lawyers, artists, businessmen, professors, even beggars or robbers," Watson said.
Watson has three children, the eldest son committed suicide due to depression, the second daughter also attempted suicide many times due to depression, and the younger son was also tormented by depression, wandering around, and could not live a normal life for a lifetime.
Watson's way of raising children can be described as "brutal", and what he has always used to treat his children is "crying and not hugging, until they don't cry; children don't give what they want immediately, delay satisfaction..."
This kind of parenting makes children feel deeply frightened and helpless early in life. Even as adults, his children still can't get out of the fear and helplessness of their childhood.
Another very sad thing is that two years ago, a mother adopted the Chinese childbirth method.
The child cried in the cradle and she did not hug, but asked in the WeChat group whether to hold the child? Asked and asked, some people said not to hug, some people said to let her hurry up and hug.
As a result, she hesitated, hesitated, and when she went to hold it again, the child would never wake up again. A small baby was thus killed by the ignorance of its mother.
In psychology, there is an attachment theory that talks about the attachment of babies to their mothers.
When babies and mothers are able to establish a secure attachment, babies feel safe and belonging, and have the confidence and curiosity to explore the world alone.
Conversely, if the baby does not establish a secure attachment relationship with the mother in the early stages of life, its personality development will be incomplete, prone to negativity, repression, neglect of oneself and others, and resistance to exploring the external world.
All in all, for 0-1 year old babies, the most important parenting is to unconditionally meet every need of the child, and establish a deep emotional attachment with the child, and must not use the "Hua Fertility Method".
The principle of natural parenting of 7 0-1 year old children, the mother knows early and is good
In the book "Core Nature Parenting Law", there are 7 principles of natural parenting for 0-1 year old babies, and here, I share them with parents and friends who have small babies at home.
▲ Give enough love to the child, and establish an intimate attachment relationship with the child
This is very important because intimate attachment relationships are the foundation of raising children.
On this basis, the child's sense of security, belonging, and positive and optimistic disposition, as well as curiosity to explore the world, will be cultivated and released.
▲ Activate the child's brain with love and make the child smarter
In infancy, a child's brain grows rapidly, and synapses are particularly active.
Care more for children, let children often feel physically and mentally happy, children will take the initiative to leave useful, prune off bad synapses.
▲Parents should beware of not caring enough for their children
In infancy, children are afraid of not caring enough, and there is never such a thing as "coddling".
If a child in infancy lacks parental love, he or she is prone to anxiety, irritability and isolation in adulthood.
▲ The baby's cry represents the child's emotional expression and emotion type
Whether the child loves to cry, whether the crying is big or small, whether it is urgent or slow, whether the crying time is long or short... The child's crying is a signal that he is telling the nurturer what his nature is.
Then the mother can use the "signal" of her child's crying to comfort the child in an appropriate way.
▲ Ensure that the baby has enough sleep
Generally speaking, babies sleep enough, but each child also has its own differences, as long as there is a regular schedule.
▲Pay attention to the needs of food for children's physical and mental and brain development
Breastfeeding for 0-1 year old babies is the best, which not only helps the baby improve immunity, but also makes the mother recover faster and better after childbirth.
▲ Do not let your baby before the age of 2 touch electronics
In the digital age, electronic products have become the standard of people's lives, and everyone can't do without it.
But these electronic products do not have any benefit for the baby, because the baby's life growth is most afraid of singleness, he needs to recognize external things through his five senses, which is human nature.
The above 7 principles of natural upbringing, friends have understood it!
What are the differences in the nature of 0-1 year old male and female treasures?
Next, let's talk about the difference in nature between boys and girls aged 0-1.
Gurion, a world pioneer in the field of gender science, said:
"In the process of raising children, we need to consider gender differences from the beginning, which is very important for parents and children, and it is also very revolutionary. We must establish the basis for the child's personality by focusing on the "traits" of the male and female in the child."
Boys and girls are inherently different, and understanding the individual differences between boys and girls can help parents better raise their children according to their children's characteristics.
In infancy boys and girls, their specific differences are mainly in the following aspects:
Boys and girls have different brains
From birth, boys and girls make eye contact with nurturers, and girls are longer than boys
From birth, girls generally hear better than boys
Since birth, boys tend to be restless, girls are quiet
From birth, girls like to process a variety of color information, while boys tend to process body movement information
Boys and girls are born different, their natures are different, and understanding some of the "characteristics" of children can be regarded as targeted and unique parenting.
epilogue:
In our traditional culture, Confucius once put forward the idea of "teaching according to aptitude", which means that it is to raise according to the characteristics of children.
What type of child is, what characteristics, what is good at, what is not liked, and understand the child accurately and comprehensively.
To raise from the aspects that children like and are good at, rather than everyone cultivating according to a mold, this is undoubtedly "teaching according to aptitude", and it is also based on the nature of children.