01
Some people say that in the modern family, there are three protagonists: parents, children, and mobile phones.
Have you noticed that since having a mobile phone, the originally energetic teenager did not say a word, did not hear anything out of the window, and only cared about brushing the mobile phone.
In fact, children cannot be blamed, adults still have no resistance to mobile phones, not to mention children with immature minds.
Some children are addicted to mobile phones, and the source is still in their parents. Many parents are now back home and keep playing with their mobile phones in front of their children, invisibly setting a bad example for their children.
On the other hand, many parents use mobile phones to please their children, and when the child is in trouble, they throw him a mobile phone, and the world is quiet in an instant.
For a long time, children are addicted to it, and there are many people who lie and deceive their parents and teachers for playing mobile phone games, and at this time, parents begin to realize the harm of mobile phones.
Many parents do everything in their power to do this, even confiscating mobile phones, which has not had much effect. Children's addiction to mobile phones has become a major problem for many parents.
Today, I would like to share with you the experience of an American mother who solved the problem of mobile phones.
The mother wrote a letter to her son, in which he set 15 rules for the use of mobile phones, which is worth thinking about for all parents!
These 15 house rules are not only applicable to children using mobile phones, but also some of the educational concepts reflected in them are more worthy of our learning.
02
Dear Son,
You are a good, responsible 13-year-old boy who deserves this gift. However, while accepting this gift, you also have to follow some rules and regulations.
Please read the following usage contract from beginning to end. I hope you understand that my role is to raise you into a well-rounded, physically and mentally healthy young person who is socially beneficial, so that he can adapt to new technologies and not be swayed by them.
If you fail to comply with the following agreement, I will terminate your ownership of the phone.
The first one: This is my phone, which I paid for. But I'm willing to lend it to you, shouldn't you be grateful to me?
Interpretation: This is a matter of property rights.
Parents buy things for their children, ownership still belongs to the parents, and the children should be grateful.
Our traditional view of the family holds that parents and children are one. Over time, Chinese children will have such a mindset: their parents' property is mine.
I once saw such a question on Zhihu: Why do people take their parents' property for granted?
The answers below are varied, some say that this is what my parents say themselves, and some people say that I will not raise them if they do not give it to me.
Therefore, for a long time, our children have believed that their parents should meet their own requirements, and many children lack gratitude.
Second: I need to know the phone password.
Interpretation: This is a question of the right to know.
With the development of the Internet, all kinds of information are muddy, children lack the ability to distinguish, and a little carelessness is easy to be affected by bad information.
Therefore, parents must know the child's mobile phone password, can understand the child's movements at any time, and prevent problems before they occur.
One might say that this would violate a child's right to privacy. Yes, but children have less privacy than the right to know when they are underage.
Rule 3: If the phone rings, answer it. It's just a phone call, learn to speak on the phone with the right attitude. If calls from "Mom" and "Dad" are displayed on the screen, you can never ignore not answering them, and remember Mom and Dad's mobile phone number.
Interpretation: This is courtesy and safety.
The mobile phone is not only a communication tool, but also involves a lot of social etiquette. Others must answer the phone (even if there is something that cannot be answered at the time, you must call the other party back afterwards), which is a kind of literacy.
For parents' phone calls, children can't help but answer. Sometimes parents are worried about their children's safety outside and will call to inquire, at this time the child can not deliberately not answer the phone.
Article 4: Give your phone to your parents on time at 7:30 p.m. every night (9:00 p.m. on weekends). It will be turned off at night and turned on again at 7:30 am. When you want to make someone else's home call and don't want the other parent to answer, then don't use your mobile phone to call or text. Listen carefully and respect other families, because we want the same respect.
Interpretation: Respect others.
Do not do to others what you do not want, and try not to disturb the other party during the rest time of others, which is the most basic quality of being a person.
Article 5: Mobile phones cannot be taken to school. Talk to your friends in the text messages in person. This is a basic life skill. The situation of early school release, outings and extracurricular activities requires specific analysis of specific problems.
Interpretation: You can't let your phone affect learning.
Children have poor self-control, and most children are completely deprecating when they get their mobile phones.
The lack of accurate screening ability for all kinds of information in mobile phones may affect the development of physical and mental health!
And having classmates at school, it's better to play with classmates than to be alone with your phone.
If you have something to discuss with your classmates, instead of sending a message, it is better to communicate in person, and language is better than the communication effect of words.
Rule Six: If it falls into the toilet, breaks to the ground, or disappears into thin air, you will be responsible for replacing or repairing it. Please solve the repair cost by mowing the lawn, helping people watch the baby, and saving some money received for your birthday. There will always be a day when your phone will have to be repaired, and you should be prepared.
Interpretation: This involves the problem of sense of responsibility and remuneration for labor.
We have known since childhood that damage to public property must be compensated, in fact, damage to the family also needs compensation. The child has caused financial losses and has to earn money through his own labor to compensate.
Seventh: Don't use your phone to deceive or fool others. Doesn't involve hurting others to talk. Unfamiliar people can be friends first, don't easily dig out your heart and lungs.
Interpretation: Be honest and kind.
If the child likes to send such a message to others from a young age, it will have an impact on the child's personality development for a long time.
Number Eight: If you don't want to say it in person, don't say it in person, either by text message, email, or phone call.
Interpretation: Direct communication is the best way to solve problems, be brave and face it, do not avoid it.
Dr. Personally, he also believes that it is best to communicate in person, after all, sometimes the text cannot correctly reflect the emotions and facial expressions of the parties, which is easy to cause misunderstandings.
And direct communication is conducive to cultivating children's awareness of daring to face problems head-on.
Article 9: In public: Turn off the computer, at least mute. Especially in restaurants, movie theaters, or when talking to people. You are not a rude person and cannot make the phone change this.
Interpretation: This is a matter of etiquette in public.
In public places can not influence others, this is the basic etiquette and cultivation, the use of mobile phones is only one side.
Think about it, when you want to quietly read a book you like, when you are thinking about a problem in the library and just find a clue, if someone else's mobile phone rings next to no one, how do you feel?
Mute your phone when you need it. A small step in your finger can be a big step in relationships.
Article 10: Do not send or receive photos of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh, even though you think you're smart enough, one day, you'll be tempted. It's dangerous and can ruin your teenage, college, and adult life. This is always a bad idea. Boundless cyberspace is more powerful than you. Therefore, the water is difficult to harvest, including a bad reputation.
Interpretation: Tell your child about the dangers of yellow venom.
Rule 11: Don't take countless photos and videos, you don't have to record everything with your phone. Feel life with all your heart, and these images will be stored in your eternal memory.
Interpretation: Don't be a slave to your phone.
We always think that the scenery we take is owned, and we always think that collecting articles is equivalent to reading themselves, but in fact, it is not.
Feeling with your heart is more impressive than taking a picture with your hand.
Twelfth: Leave your phone at home once in a while, and then go out with confidence. It's not alive or an extension of you, and you'll be fine without your phone.
Interpretation: Don't be kidnapped by your phone.
In the era of mobile Internet, smart phones have become an indispensable tool for people to live and work, and if they go out and forget their mobile phones, they will feel serious "insecurity".
Now there is a popular saying that "you can forget to bring anything when you go out, but you must not bring your mobile phone." "A lot of people go out and find that they are anxious without a mobile phone, and they can't even work well.
Recently, scholars at the University of Missouri in the United States conducted a study and found that if people are separated from the iPhone, it will bring serious mental anxiety, affect physiological indicators such as heartbeat, and affect their cognitive ability.
When to start, mobile phones have such a big impact on us.
Article 13: Use your mobile phone to play word games, puzzles or brain teaser games from time to time.
Interpretation: Edutainment.
Entertainment is human nature, mobile phones have entertainment functions, while entertaining, can help intelligence, can have the best of both worlds.
This concept can also be used in other aspects.
Fourteenth: See the world with your eyes. Observe what's happening in the world around you: look out the window, listen to birds, take a walk, chat with people, get in a daze without going to Google (Baidu in China).
Interpretation: Don't be a low-headed person.
In addition to the phone being deaf and ignoring the eyes, this is really sick.
Heaven has given us a pair of eyes, it is to use it to discover the beauty of life, when you look up, look at the sky, you will find that life is so beautiful.
Fifteenth: You will definitely have times when you can't make good use of your mobile phone. I'll take the phone back. Then, let's sit down and talk about the problems we have. Let's start over together, and I will always be on your side, learning and improving from experience together. We are people in a boat.
Interpretation: Contract consciousness and family consciousness.
Some people say that one of the biggest characteristics of Westerners is that they have a sense of contract. At the same time, Westerners also pay attention to family, family together, we grow together, both Chinese and foreign.
This letter is not only a treasure book for a mother to restrain her child from using a mobile phone, but also reflects a mother's complete educational philosophy.
03
In fact, don't talk about children, let's say we adults, now most people spend their time on using mobile phones to chat about WeChat, brush circles of friends, brush Weibo, play games, etc.
We are always overly concerned about the lives of others and the information outside, but we do not notice that our own surroundings are quietly losing more precious things.
When we look down at our phones, do you find that your other half is in a bad mood today, how long have you not sat down to have a good chat?
Every day before going to bed, each holding a mobile phone to chat, although the same bed, but each other more and more have nothing to talk about, the night only a room quiet.
When we play with our mobile phones, have we found that the child is not happy to come back today? Or do you know how much your child wants their parents to be with them, but sometimes we ignore our children. Have you ever noticed that the child is alienating ourselves from us.
Finally, I would like to say a heartfelt word to you:
Put down the mobile phone, accompany your relatives and children more, do not let us become slaves to the mobile phone, let the mobile phone kidnap our lives!