As soon as the TV series "Xiao MinJia" was broadcast, it received high attention. The play vividly interprets the pain points of the current middle-aged people's lives, and the various heartache and helpless practical problems encountered in the process of divorce, remarriage and child-rearing. Surveys show that the divorce rate climbed from 0.5% to 3.4% from 1987 to early 2019, while the number of people who chose to remarry also increased every year. But as played in the play, divorced families will face more practical problems when they start a new life than when they first get married.
*Image from the official Weibo of "Little Minjia"
Today, Grandma Hercules borrowed it
"Little Minjia" this drama talks about
Divorced middle-aged man
I want to start a new relationship smoothly
A few things to be aware of
Be honest and honest with your child
When divorced people start a new relationship again, most people choose to hide from their families, especially their children. Some people feel that the relationship between the two sides is still unstable, and they will talk about it when it is stable, but more is to escape psychology, and they do not know how to open their mouths to talk to their children about this matter.
This is also a problem that Chen Zhuo and Liu Xiaomin in the play cannot avoid, Chen Jiajia clearly said that Chen Zhuo can make a girlfriend, but the matter of marriage is exempt from talking. And Liu Xiaomin's side? I didn't dare to tell my son the truth...
In fact, whether you want to invest in a new relationship or remarry, timely communication with the child is an important part, escape can not solve any problem, the longer it drags on, the greater the harm to the child. It is very important to face this matter early, for young children, you can start from daily contact, let him slowly understand and accept the new half of the parents.
For older children, especially those who have entered puberty, we must be honest with each other, respect and listen to the opinions of children, and also tell their own ideas to children, so that children understand that parents also have their own lives, and remarriage will not affect the parent-child relationship between children and parents.
Remarry for the second child
It is not a chip to maintain the relationship
Another contradiction in the play is the remarriage and birth of a second child, which is also a real problem between many second-married couples, many remarried families feel that having another child can make the reorganized family more stable, just like Li Ping in the play, willing to play ovulation injections, having children at an advanced age, not so much because of love, but for the stability of marriage, after all, the old Hong, who has a big family, is also the "life goal" of many little girls. Of course, there is also another situation, where one of the second marriages is married for the first time and wants to have a child of their own in the marriage.
But in fact, whether or not to have a child also depends on the reality of the situation. Most second-married couples or one of them themselves come with children, if you want another child may add new parent-child contradictions, parenting is already difficult, and step-parenting is even more difficult!
*The image is from the screenshot of the film and television drama "Little Minjia"
Many stepchildren cannot accept a stranger as their new parent, coupled with the instinctive rejection psychology, there are often contradictions between children and step-parents, just like the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is one of the problems of the universe. The parent-child relationship of the restructured family has not yet been solved, and then a "second child" will only make the family relationship that was originally a chicken feather more "worse".
In addition, some second-married couples are already middle-aged, even if you have the idea of having children, you may not have the physical conditions to be able to have children. Therefore, whether to have a "second child" in the second marriage or not, don't worry about making a decision! Dealing with parent-child problems and physical problems is the primary task, do not be born for birth, children are the bond of marriage, but marriage can not rely on children to maintain.
Let go of worries and low self-esteem
Don't make up for a second marriage
Despite the divorce, people's yearning and pursuit of happiness is unchanged. Compared with men, women's divorce, remarriage bears much greater public opinion pressure and risk than men, more realistic is that divorce will make a woman rapidly depreciate, so that men are discouraged, which is also invisibly, increasing women's inferiority psychology, such as Liu Xiaomin in the play, the previous marriage is a pain she can not mention, ex-husband Jin Bo is ruined the first half of her life, even if it is to invest in new feelings again, it will be full of self-doubt and denial.
Moreover, many remarried families in life, just to find someone to partner with, do not have much love! In addition, the negative residue of the previous marriage is often full of vigilance and caution for remarriage, and even if you remarry, you cannot be honest and fully trusted.
In fact, whether men or women, even if they are divorced, do not think too much, so they will casually find someone to make up for the rest of their lives. Especially women, don't feel that divorce will collapse life, the end of the world, ending a terrible marriage may not be a timely stop loss, only in this way can you embrace a new beginning!
Don't cause marital conflicts because of property entanglements
It is said that the brothers clearly settle the account, and for the second-married couple, their respective property status and debt problems should be clearly explained on the table. Under normal circumstances, the property before the second marriage belongs to the personal premarital property, including the problem of premarital debts, such as some people at the time of the second marriage, in fact, have not yet fulfilled the obligations of the agreement to the ex-spouse, whether they need to pay maintenance, how much money they need to pay, and whether they need to continue to repay the mortgage.
For these problems, the university can sign a prenuptial property agreement before marriage. After all, the combination of the second marriage, the influencing factors are really many, sometimes it is really not too stable, and it is a good thing to explain each other clearly in terms of property. After marriage, on the issue of property, negotiate with each other to make it clear, do not hide it. In short, don't bury hidden dangers for marriage for property problems!
Marriage is not easy, second marriage is even more difficult! But everyone has the right to pursue happiness, and second-married people, who have experienced the first marriage, will know more about the way to get along in marriage, as long as they balance their mentality, communicate with their children with their hearts, obtain the recognition of their children, and find happiness again is not a thing!