If a marriage does not have love, it will be a coincidence, nothing more than legitimate sex.
Marriage is a matter of two people, and it is difficult for a strong person to solve the problem of two people by relying on the efforts of one person alone. Since you are married, it means that you have chosen each other, which means that you have to play your own role and assume your responsibilities, rather than just getting a certificate and getting your own good after marriage.
Too many young people stand on the threshold of love and marriage, but they don't understand what marriage means.
I think the meaning of marriage is a proof that two people come together to form a complete family, can support each other, and move forward and backward together. In a marital relationship, the absence of either party's role will lead to an imbalance in the family relationship, and such a marriage is tantamount to building on land on a skyscraper and cannot withstand the wind and rain.
01. 19 days of acquaintance flash marriage, the wife repeatedly called the police to say that she was subjected to domestic violence
Chen Yongjing (pseudonym) and her husband Li Ming (pseudonym) are both married for the second time, the two have no children under their knees, and after being introduced to each other, they met for less than 19 days before they were licensed to marry. However, life after marriage is not very peaceful, according to Chen Yongjing, from the time she was pregnant, her husband began to punch and kick herself, and now that the child is one year old, she is still treated violently by her husband.
In this regard, Chen Yongjing has called the police many times, which has attracted everyone in the surrounding neighborhoods to know about Li Ming's domestic violence.
However, when we specifically interrogated Li Ming, we found that Li Ming spoke gently and elegantly, even a little slowly, spoke reasonably and reasonably, and did not admit that he had beaten his wife.
Even Li Ming's parents said that Li Ming had never touched his wife at home, and that Chen Yongjing was always the active party in the two getting along, and that the daughter-in-law had made trouble at home for three days after she got married, cutting her wrists and jumping into the river at every turn, so that the surrounding neighbors paid wide attention to their family affairs.
Li Ming said that he did not take the initiative to marry his wife, but was forced by his wife's mother to ask him repeatedly and four times, and finally Li Ming agreed to the wedding.
The husband and wife spent two years together, and he found that his wife was an impatient person, and his own personality was wooden, a chronic child, which led to constant quarrels in life.
After confirmation with the police, it was not found that Chen Yongjing had been beaten at home, chen Yongjing and Li Ming did not have much emotional exchanges, and in the married life, because her husband often handled the affairs of the husband and wife coldly, Chen Yongjing felt that she did not get the love and respect she deserved.
Therefore, Chen Yongjing wanted to get rid of this marriage in the name of domestic violence and leave Chen Ming, who had always been cold and violent to himself.
02. How many families have been destroyed by cold violence
This is a marriage without love factors, the twisted melon is not sweet, the two have not yet laid the foundation of feelings, and they have hurriedly entered the married life after nineteen days of acquaintance, which has led to all tragedies.
Finally, after mediation and enlightenment, Chen Yongjing realized his unreasonable mistakes, and Li Ming also realized that his long-term disregard for his wife had led to his wife's madness, and after the two reflected on their mistakes, they decided to make up for each other's missing time and live a good life.
In the movie "No Questions Asked", the story of such a couple is told.
Around the 50s, Xu Bo, who came from the countryside, often could not afford his high tuition fees, and Liu Shufen, who was devoted to him, worked day and night to save money, sent Xu Bochang to finish college, and the two had a deep affection at that time, and Xu Bo often promised Liu Shufen a lifetime.
However, Xu Bochang, who had experienced college life, later repented of marriage, and Liu Shufen was forced to die, and finally promoted this reluctant marriage.
Life after marriage is unfortunate, two beds in a small room sleep separately, Xu Bo would rather pour the meal than leave a mouthful of food for his wife, his own cup is broken, he would rather take a bowl to drink water than use Liu Shufen's cup.
In the face of decades of cold violence, Liu Shufen lost her mind, outsiders seem to Be Liu Shufen is a shrew who shouts and scolds her father and scolds her mother, Xu Bo is often more like a little daughter-in-law who has been scolded and swallowed for many years, but she does not know that all this stems from the unfortunate marriage and the cold violence of her husband.
During an argument, Liu Shufen cried, "The world has watched me beat you and scolded you, but they have no idea how you beat me!" ”
Xu Bo often shouted angrily, "When have I ever touched you!" ”
Liu Shufen responded, "You didn't hit me with your hand, you used your attitude." ”
03. The author's emotional feelings
The accusations and complaints in marriage are not because of "I love you" but because "I don't manage my emotions well." Blame is not love, but the killer of marriage.
Since you are married and there are problems with the relationship between husband and wife, you should look for the root cause of the problem, explore how the problem occurs, and find ways to solve the problem.
However, many times we do not have enough patience, especially in dealing with people close to us, the longer we get along, the lower the limit of patience for mutual respect.
Most of the time we are easily controlled by emotions and say hurtful things, and it is precisely because we are close to each other that we know what kind of words can hurt each other the most.
Husband and wife get along, since there are contradictions, they must be resolved, life is very long, since they have to face each other every day, the problem should be solved as soon as possible. Instead of looking for death and life at every turn, crying, making trouble and hanging up three times, it consumes the patience of both sides.
Speaking of cold violence, there are many kinds of violence, physical contact, verbal insults, and even emotional indifference, of which emotional violence is an invisible knife that hurts too many families.
Everyone hopes that their efforts can be faced squarely, that their efforts are worthwhile, and that no one can always dedicate themselves in obscurity, let alone that the other party is a wife.
Don't say that great love is speechless, we are not saints, many feelings, need to be expressed in words, maintained with actions, otherwise it will not be accurately conveyed.