Love is equal, blindly paying will only move themselves in the end, and even be treated as a fool by the other party, cheating money and cheating.
Single mother Yang Li (pseudonym) is a typical case, from love to breakup, debt 1.21 million.
1. Initial acquaintance
Yang Li, 50 years old, divorced from her husband for 7 years and brought the child alone.
The days of living alone are too cold, and the pressure to raise children is also relatively high, so she wants to start a family again.
After finding several blind dates, she targeted Xu Jun (pseudonym), 52 years old, divorced with a daughter who did financial work.
Thinking that the finances are relatively stable, and everyone is with their daughters, life will not be too embarrassing, so she contacted Xu Jun.
2, the first concession: help to repay the debt
The two added contact information and talked for several days.
When Yang Li revealed that she felt that the two could reorganize the family, she unexpectedly refused to answer: "I am not worthy of you, I used to be a foul, I love to play cards, and I owe a lot of money." ”
Hearing this, Yang Li was not only not frightened, but more satisfied with Xu Jun.
The accompanying pictures are all source networks, and the infringing contact is deleted
She felt that being able to say this honestly showed that character was still OK.
People who are in a state of love, sure enough, look at each other wherever it is good, even if it is a shortcoming, it can be automatically beautified.
Yang Li immediately helped repay the arrears of 30,000 yuan, but she did not know that this was the beginning of the "bottomless pit".
3. Second concession: loan to buy a house
After the two formally fell in love, Xu Jun moved to Yang Li's house.
It didn't take long for Yang Li to sell her current house and take out a loan to buy a new house.
This is because Xu Jun said that the current house is too narrow, and it is not enough to live in a family of four. It is better to sell the house and change it to a large one, as a marriage house for two people.
Not only that, Xu Jun also said that the new house is written in his name, so it does not belong to the second house, and the interest rate of the loan will be much lower.
It sounds reasonable, but if you look closely, you will find that everything is obviously not conducive to Yang Li.
But she still believed Xu Jun, or rather, she felt that since they were all together, they should think about each other and pay for each other.
But how can there be long-term love in unequal relationships?
A healthy and quality relationship must be based on an equal relationship. If you have been wronging yourself to complete each other in this relationship, then the relationship must be fragile and vulnerable. Because even you don't love yourself and don't respect yourself, how can the other party love you?
The essence of love is the mutual attraction of two equal souls, not the one who pays for each other.
Besides, the two of them didn't even get a marriage license!
In this way, the newly bought house, the down payment and decoration fee are all paid by Yang Li, and the remaining money will be paid by Xu Jun more than two thousand per month.
Yang Li was not completely worried, but she thought that she was so old, and it didn't matter if the marriage certificate was delayed.
4. The third concession
It wasn't until Xu Jun bought a house for his own daughter that Yang Li realized something was wrong.
When she angrily confronted Xu Jun, she was prevaricating by the sweet words of the other party.
Xu Jun claimed that the reason why he bought a house for his daughter was because he was worried that Yang Li was uneasy and comfortable, although the two people said that they were living together, they were not able to be generous enough to see other people's children as if they were their own, and there would always be knots in their hearts, and it was difficult for the lives of the two sides to be harmonious.
When Yang Li heard it, she felt that what she said was quite right, so she didn't say more.
5. Break up
Later, Xu Jun bought himself another apartment, so that he had two houses under his name.
The relationship between the two was intermittent and contradictory, and Xu Jun finally proposed to break up, and said that he wanted to sell the marriage house, because the house was recorded in his name and he had the right to dispose of it.
Yang Li was more stubborn, thinking that it was better to sell the house to others than to sell it to me. The market price of the house is 790,000, sold to Ms. Yang for 770,000, and 400,000 offsets her down payment and decoration fees, and there is a difference of 370,000.
At this time, Yang Li had not yet reacted, and she had been deceived!
The other side of the empty glove white wolf, set the down payment of two suites, patted his ass and left.
Xu Jun said that she urgently needed money, and she transferred the 200,000 yuan borrowed from relatives.
There is still a difference of 170,000, let her go to the loan, ask her to borrow 1 million, and then be willing to transfer the house to her.
In the end, Yang Li only borrowed 430,000 yuan, 170,000 yuan was repaid by herself, and the rest of the money Xu Jun repaid. But Xu Jun only paid it back for a while, and he never paid it back again.
Because it was Yang Li's loan, the bank would seize her house if she could not repay the loan.
Frightened, Yang Li demolished the east wall to make up for the west wall and borrowed five times in a row.
To repay the loan, this "snowball" rolls more and more.
There must be something hateful about the poor man, and what is infuriating is that Yang Li even believes in this man.
Xu Jun said that he could help her solve the problem at hand, so he was tricked into signing. Finally, the house was mortgaged.
Write at the end:
Love is beautiful, but it is also prickly, and one accidentally plays with himself.
Remember, in a marriage, when money is involved, it is necessary to be extra cautious, how to divide it, and to maintain their rights and what they deserve.
Don't think about if you take a step back, whether he will be very touched, whether he will feel that I love him very much. I can tell you with certainty that it won't.
Cai Kangyong once said a sentence, "You suffer for love, even if you suffer to the point of walking dead, it is difficult to increase the sweetness of the other party because of your one pound of bitterness." If the other person is not happy because you suffered, there is no reason to feel indebted to you, and there is no reason to repay you. ”
Don't fall into self-touched love, no one will pay for your blind pay, and no one will be moved by such a humble love.
People want to maintain long-term and comfortable relationships, relying on commonality and attraction, not oppression, bondage, flattery, and self-affection.
Whenever you want, protect yourself and love yourself first.