In the past, I didn't know much about women taking babies alone, although I thought it might not be easy, but it wouldn't be difficult enough to collapse and get divorced.
However, since I contacted a group of friends and learned about her road of carrying a baby alone in recent years, I really realized that it is not easy to carry a baby alone. And this is not easy, or have to blame her man.
Because what makes this group of friends feel broken is not to take the baby alone day after day, but the man is less involved in this process, that is, he can help, but he does not help.
The group friend is called Xiao fen, and her husband is in the same village as her family, but her husband works in the city, so after the two got married, they have been renting a house in the city. During her pregnancy, Xiao Fen was alone in the rental house to raise a baby.
In her thirties, her health is not very good, morning sickness has lasted for many months, and she can't move when she is lying on the bed, she can't move when she moves, and she vomits when she moves, and she can't cook for herself.
Her husband bought her an early breakfast in the morning, sometimes ordered takeaway at noon, and came back from work in the afternoon to cook again.
Some people may feel, why don't mother-in-law and mother take care of Xiaofen? That's because Xiao fen and her mother have always had a bad personality, and the old man doesn't want to come, and he can't take care of her when he comes.
The mother-in-law is a bit "dependent" on her son, and Xiaofen can also see it, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also a little sensitive. So if she can do it, she will insist on herself.
Fortunately, the husband is still virtuous, although the rice is not delicious, but at least every day will come back to do it, and the pregnancy period can be regarded as a smooth persistence.
The baby is confinement, there is no way to continue to be alone at home, the mother-in-law to take care of, the result is that the mother-in-law is a "two-faced faction", when the son is there, he will be generous to the daughter-in-law, caring.
When the son went to work, the mother-in-law did not care about Xiao fen. Cooking for her is often white noodles, pickles and the like.
Xiao Fen is a smart person, she knows to tell her husband directly, he will not believe it, so she can only swallow the grievance into her stomach.
After insisting on the confinement, he sent his mother-in-law back home, took the children alone, cleaned up the housework, and cooked for her husband who came home from work in the afternoon.
Now that more than two years have passed since this state, the child has run all over the house, but Xiao Fen feels more and more tired and more difficult to bring.
The son pestered her all day, asking her to play with her, playing with toys and involving her, and following her all the time.
Previously, she used to hold the child to cook and go to the toilet, and do housework with one hand. And now, it's all day long with a fart sticking to it.
She wanted to work part-time on the mobile phone computer to make some money, but she was always interrupted by her son, grabbing the mobile phone, grabbing all kinds of scratches, crying. Every day, she didn't have a quiet time to stop.
But as long as the husband comes home from work, he can let him take his son for a while, and even if he continues to do housework, he will feel clean for a while.
But recently, Xiaofen's husband did not go home after three or four consecutive days from work, company parties, classmates, friends eating...
This kind of thing has happened before, but occasionally one day, or I will take Xiaofen and the child with me.
Although Xiao Fen did not like to go, but thought that since she had the sincerity to take her mother and son, she still went, and there were also people who shared the handle to watch the children.
But this time, for several days in a row, and did not call them mother and son together. Xiao Fen did not want to go to a noisy party, but needed her husband to come back and share the matter of watching the children for a while.
The willingness expressed was also very clear, but the husband did not listen to it, and he was drunk for several days in a row, and only came back late at night, and when he returned, he fell asleep on his head, and the child cried and could not wake him.
Angry Xiaofen complained to everyone in the group, saying that she was really about to collapse, had already issued a "yellow card" to her husband, if this continues, she will divorce, the children are not wanted. Because she couldn't hold on, she was so tired.
It seems that it may also be that Xiao Fen's child is too noisy, too active to take it. But everyone understands that Xiao Fen, who has always been steady and sensible, is certainly not a pretense.
She is obviously not in good health, she is still taking medicine and conditioning, and she has to face a noisy child and a bunch of housework all day long, which is indeed a big head.
She said that even if someone occasionally stepped in and helped her watch the child for a while and quieted her for a while, she would not have an emotional breakdown. So her husband didn't come home on time for many days in a row, and she couldn't stand it without helping her for a while.
If someone else said this, I might say whether it was too much of a fuss, but I have known Xiao Fen for many years, and I know that she is not the kind of person who has nothing to do, and if she can do it and insist on it, she will certainly not make a fuss without reason.
So seeing her so emotionally out of control, you can imagine the state and psychology of being bored by children and trivial life.
Presumably in real life, there are many similar housewives, a person with children, but also to do a lot of housework, may also think that can not eat "idle meals", can not let themselves fall behind, is looked down upon, so want to do something part-time to make some money.
But children are not necessarily as obedient as angels, they will have such and such constantly changing needs, some children are good to bring, some are not good to bring, some are noisy, some have a lot of things, some are active, some love to cry...
It's really hard to smile all day, to be emotionally stable, to be relaxed and loving.
Of course, just like Xiao Fen hopes, she can persist for a day, waiting for her husband to come home from work every second, accompany her children for a while, free herself up, even if she breathes outside the door alone for a while, she will feel much better.
So that moment of coming back from work is very important, but Zuo waits around and doesn't come back, and he is still drunk outside before he comes back.
Come back and can't see the child, but also purring, even spitting around needs to be taken care of, what kind of woman to change, will be very angry...
At this point, there must be many female compatriots who feel empathy, so if men encounter similar situations, they must be more considerate of their wives.
Don't think that she is at home doing nothing, just taking a child, why so many things, so impatient...
If you only think like this, you will only feel that the woman is pretentious, ignorant, and does not come home on time and throw everything to her.
Then one day she is completely disappointed in you, and suddenly and resolutely wants to divorce you, don't be surprised.
Because before that, it is very likely that they expressed their need for you many times, but you did not extend a "helping hand", and felt that she was unreasonable and inconsiderate of you making money outside the home to support your family.
So she can only cool down from anger again and again until she is completely cold, no longer has hope and expectation for you, and decides that she no longer needs you.