The pressure on your child comes from your face, parents must take a look!

"I think the healthy growth of a child is like a tree, he has a time period. You can pour a lot of fertilizer on him, this tree grows very fast, but in the end he may actually be sick, so this is one of the reasons why we have so many little geniuses who grow up and have poor explosive power. Yu Minhong said in an interview.

"Now I am more opposed to extraordinary education, advanced education, and all kinds of difficult education that cost students' brains, such as five- or six-year-old people to learn fifteen-year-old things, this kind of thing I think I am the least cold." 」

In fact, this is not the first time that Yu Minhong has talked about not pulling seedlings for children. In his view, respecting the growth rules of children is what many parents should do at present. And many parents, there are also many misunderstandings. When it comes to respecting children, in fact, there are many voices, but many parents feel that in fact, what they want to know most is how to respect children, and what parents should do?

It is obviously not advisable to promote seedling pulling, so what should parents do?

In my opinion, the most important responsibility of parents is to create a peaceful and stable growth environment for their children, which involves the temper of parents, whether the parents' requirements for their children are reasonable, whether parents have time to accompany their children to grow, and whether parents have the ability to influence their children with their own character.

Therefore, in fact, family education seems to be not a big topic on the surface, is it not to grow up with children?

But now the problem, at least I personally feel, is that most of the children of troubled families have problems, and later I found that seventy or eighty percent of the problems are in the parents. I've always had a simple point of view, if you do a good parent, the child will be fine, it really is. So I hope that we here will first make ourselves qualified parents, although I am not qualified myself, at least we should make an effort, I think that is fine.

Change the criteria for judging success

Human growth is a lifelong thing, and it is definitely not determined by the scores you get in elementary school or college. Please be sure to change the criteria for judging success. A child's high score is one of the criteria for success, but don't take it as an inevitable standard, let alone as the only criterion, otherwise your child will be hurt countless times.

Let me give you a simple example. If your child is the last in the class, how will you treat your child?

Most parents react by beating or scolding. The child obviously knows that he is wrong, but there is no way, he will take the test with 0 points, what do you do? You keep hurting him, and in the end he may not learn.

I suggest that parents and friends think about how much is the gap between the first place and the last place from a long-term perspective. Don't children who don't go to college have a lifetime? Definitely not! As I said just now, as long as the child is well educated, no matter what you do, you will be successful.

I can give my own example. At the time of the college entrance examination, I did not take the entrance examination in the first year, did not enter the examination in the second year, and only entered the third year. I spent three years fighting with my classmates for a year, when I graduated from Peking University, we had 50 classmates in the class, I was the fifth to last in the class, but the grades did not prevent me from doing my own business.

Learn to relieve stress and emotions in your child

In fact, there is some pressure in every child's heart now. But in recent years, we've begun to feel stress and anxiety in general. Ordinary people have imposed on their children the dream of entering Peking University Tsinghua, and everyone compares themselves with each other.

This affects the children, the children will compare with each other upside down, and after the comparison, the children will be under great pressure, not only than the family background, than whether they are dressed well or not, but also than whether their academic performance is good or not. Children also have a lot of stress.

It depends on the parents' reaction, if the parents' further reaction is: "You have to get me good grades, you can't lose face for me", then the pressure on this child is even greater.

If parents can tell their children that whether it is a family background that is inferior to others or a poor grade, it cannot determine your future lifelong fate and lifelong happiness, and your lifelong fate and happiness are based on something (this is what I always say to my children), at least it can alleviate some of their pressure.

What parents can do is to do their best to relieve their children's stress and emotions, and to maintain their children's enthusiasm for life and the future, which is something that most people can't do and are not easy to do.

Lead by example

The teacher's education method is very important, but the parent's education method is more important, because the child pays more attention to the parent's words and deeds. The code of conduct is not that parents tell their children that you must learn every day, but how to take people and treat things in daily life. I think first of all, parents must be in place and be able to set an example.

I once met a mother with her own child, the child is only two years old, just the courier brought something up, the mother said thank you uncle to the child, the child just does not say. This mother said to the child: "It is not okay not to say it, because after people have served us, you don't thank others, and people will not send things over in the future." The child could actually understand, and then went back and shouted, "Thank you uncle!" This is the code of conduct.

You tell him about such small things, things that seem particularly small, but when two, three, five, and ten pieces add up, the child becomes very polite and easy to be accepted by the people around him. Once accepted by the people around him, he will have a strong sense of security, and his character and character will become more sound. In fact, many small things will become big things.

Pay attention to your child's emotions

In the middle of the child's growth process, pay attention to the child's personality and temper. It is not to tell the child how your temper and personality have changed, but the parents themselves are a matter of good temper and personality.

Because if the parent is capricious, the child will have a sense of fear and escape. If the parents are reasonable and all the behaviors are predictable, the child will not have a strange temper.

Guide your child's interests

Interest guidance is important for children. Interest guidance is not a parent imposing an interest on the child and telling you that you must do this thing, but according to the child's nature, let it become a strong point in their own life. Once he encounters this matter, he will have a sense of accomplishment and a sense of existence.

Parents should not say that the child is not as good as others, and that is not as good as others. Everyone has a lot of things that are inferior to others, but don't reinforce, but help your child build self-confidence in some aspects. This kind of self-confidence must not mean how good he wants to learn this course, but let the child deeply believe that no matter what position he is in, he is actually accepted by others.

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