Human life is short and limited, and during this limited time, marriage occupies a large part.
In marriage, everyone desires happiness. This is both a projection of the inner idealization of the self and a need to meet the needs of the self.
If marriage wants to be happy, it is naturally inseparable from careful management.
People who can understand marriage management are well aware of the following 4 points -
01
Don't skimp on words of praise
The worst relationship in marriage is endless accusations and belittlement of the significant other.
This process will not only consume the warmth in each other's feelings, but also further deteriorate the relationship between the two parties.
Because accusations and disparagement can bring negative emotional experiences to the other person. Repeatedly falling into such negative experiences can make it easy to get stuck.
Deep in everyone's heart, there is a desire for beauty and warmth. To experience this feeling, you can't do without praise and praise anyway.
Of course, this praise and praise is not blind, it must come from the heart and be realized.
After all, proper expression will enable your words to reach the other person's heart.
Just as in the online variety "Wife's Romantic Trip 6", Bao Lei's series of high emotional intelligence speeches have won countless fans for her. Her words of praise and praise for the other half are even more deeply rooted in people's hearts.
When her husband Lu Yi's paintings were ridiculed, Bao Lei was not angry, but praised her husband for the first time, and keenly pointed out where her husband painted well.
Such a detailed way of praising can not only calm the husband's lost emotions, but also make the husband feel the wife's true recognition of himself.
It is not difficult to see from Lu Yixi's smiling face that his wife's praise made his heart feel good.
Therefore, accurately giving positive feedback to the spouse in the marriage will make both partners feel nourished by the relationship.
02
Know how to "see the truth in the ordinary"
I don't know if you've ever heard the saying: "Plain sees waves, subtleties see the truth." ”
It is fitting to use this sentence to describe the essence of marriage!
After the baptism of years, the passion of youth has long been replaced by plain true feelings. Although some people may feel that "life has become too dull", in fact, if marriage is to be happy and long-term, it is often necessary to know how to "see the truth in the ordinary".
We have long overlooked that silent companionship is far more real than the promise of dry rocks, and that daily firewood, rice, oil and salt are more reliable than poetry and distant places.
When marriage becomes flat, you should not let emotions dominate you, but be the master of emotions.
Since you choose to enter into marriage, you must strive to maintain the temperature of love and abide by the rules of marriage.
If you can't, even if you end the relationship, the new relationship may not be long-term!
You know, a happy marriage must be able to keep loneliness and be willing to be plain company.
03
Listen patiently and ask gently
The most important thing in the way of marriage is to learn to communicate effectively with your other half, and the prerequisite for effective communication is patient listening.
Listening is not only about carrying ears, but also about empathizing with your heart.
A good listener who is not in a hurry to make a judgment.
On the contrary, they know how to give each other a positive response in the process of listening, so that the confidant feels understood and recognized.
But be careful not to be a good teacher, no matter what your other half confides in you.
All you need to do is ask in as gentle a tone as possible and stand with your significant other unconditionally.
In this way, you not only give great support and respect to the other half, but also relieve the emotions of the other half.
Because in his world, he can understand the great principle, but at this moment he needs to feel that the level is valued and seen.
Through the observation of failed marriages, it will be found that the more reasonable two people in the marriage, the more likely it is to cause conflicts between them.
Under this conflict, the original anger and grievances will be amplified, and then turn into mutual attacks.
Slowly, under this vicious circle, there is only complaining between each other, and the distance between hearts is no longer close, and it is only a matter of time before they separate.
In fact, become a good "explanation flower" in marriage, the other half will be full of interest in you, and your relationship can be happy and close.
04
Often create a sense of ritual
The sense of ritual in marriage is not only to deliberately create a fresh feeling, but also to actively cater to the psychological needs of the partner.
This psychological need is to make the other half feel valued, it is not a responsibility, but a love from the heart.
On special days, expressing your deep need for each other in a ritualistic way can not only increase the intimacy between each other, but also store more sweet memories for the two in the future.
In addition, the existence of a sense of ritual will bring more surprises and fun to life.
Life is inevitably bitter, and the sense of ritual is like a seasoning that gives a dish its color and fragrance.
Zhang Ailing also said: "Life needs a sense of ritual, which can arouse our respect for our inner self, and also make us better and more serious to live every day of our life." ”
In general, a good marriage is inseparable from the joint efforts of husband and wife.
If you want to reap a happy marriage, you can't do without the optimization of your own behavior.
Learn to face marriage with a positive attitude, and marriage will have positive feedback.
And your happiness has always been in your own hands.
Author: Iris
The cover image and the image in this article are from the copyright gallery
The content of the image is not authorized to be reproduced