Yu Xiuhua: The essence of love is to have all the pictures

Let's talk about Yu Xiuhua's five views of love.

01

Yu Xiuhua's marriage is on the hot search,

It has caused a lot of doubts online.

Question what?

Many people feel that this marriage is not simple:

"Yu Xiuhua is already 46,

Not only cerebral palsy,

Walking is still toeing,

It's not pretty.

I also couldn't speak clearly.

And Yang Yongce is a post-90s,

both young and healthy,

And sunny and handsome,

Why did he look for a woman like Yu Xiuhua?

Yu Xiuhua has been famous in recent years,

Royalties and other revenues add up to a lot,

Yang Quece married Yu Xiuhua,

It must have come for Yu Xiuhua's name and money.

Imagine if Yu Xiuhua had no name and no money,

Would Yang Yongce look for such a woman?

Definitely not. ”

02

Regarding the various questions on the Internet,

Yu Xiuhua said this:

"About me and Yang Yongce,

It has been stir-frying for a long time.

The Internet is full of all kinds of speculation and worry,

Some people are worried that he wants my fame and money,

Some people say that I am old and ugly and do not deserve him and so on.

In fact, the essence of the relationship,

The essence of any relationship between the sexes is to have a plan,

Even if it's two young men and women at the right door,

It is also a plot,

One figures his youth, one figures her beauty,

This is the nature of gender relations.

If you say you have nothing,

You have nothing to be remembered by others,

So what is the meaning and value of your life?

I think the two of us are together at this stage.

Very happy and happy,

It's a pleasant relationship for both of us,

If one day he abandons me and breaks up with me,

I will fulfill him, too,

Because of the meaning of everyone's life,

Be greater than the meaning that love brings. ”

In this passage,

Yu Xiuhua revealed the concept of love,

It can be described in four words:

Mature and transparent.

03

Yu Xiuhua's view of love,

Where is the maturity and transparency?

First: It tells the essence of love.

The essence of love is to have a plan.

There is one truth in this world:

All relationships are essentially exchanges of value.

Without value exchange, there is no relationship,

The same goes for love.

Love or marriage,

It's essentially about working with another person.

Each has its own map, each takes what it needs.

A love, a marriage,

Both men and women must "have a plan" to be established.

Figure what?

To put it bluntly, it is the three values of the figure:

● Sexual value, that is, desire (including appearance, body, temperament, sexual harmony, etc.).

● Economic value, that is, support (family status, income, property, development space, etc.).

● Emotional value, that is, companionship (temper, personality, three views, thoughtfulness, care, etc.).

Why should we fall in love and get married?

It is the hope that desires can be satisfied, supported, and companiond,

At least one of the three.

I've seen a lot of people,

both claim that the love they pursue is pure,

all claim that the love they pursue has nothing to do with material things,

But as soon as I communicated with them,

Find out what they want,

They are all rich and beautiful people with a talented figure and a single body.

The surface is nothing,

In fact, everything is pictured,

It's just that I didn't "pay attention".

In love, there is no love for no reason,

And there is no unprovoked hatred,

Love is a picture, hate is a picture,

Not mysterious nor complicated.

Most people talk about love,

In fact, it is all about needs.

What most people call "true love",

In fact, it is all "I like" under the balance of interests,

The so-called empathy,

In fact, it is all about taking what you need.

This is the essence of love.

Yu Xiuhua's strength lies in,

She saw this essence,

"So even if he draws my name and money,

I will fulfill him, too,

I don't mind being taken advantage of,

The essence of love is to have its own intentions. ”

Love is not pure,

You must figure something out in love,

Also allow your partner to chart some of your stuff.

Good love and marriage,

It is the mutual satisfaction of needs.

04

Second: it speaks to the essence of marriage.

The essence of marriage is exchange.

Yu Xiuhua said:

"If you have nothing,

You have nothing to be remembered and attempted by others,

So what is the meaning and value of your life? ”

What does this sentence mean?

That is to say, in the intersex relationship,

We have to build a mindset – exchange thinking.

The so-called exchange of thinking,

It's that you have to be able to provide value to the other person.

Or is it sexual value,

or economic value,

Or emotional value,

In short, you have to provide value.

Many people in love and marriage,

Nothing can be provided,

Or say that the value is very poor,

but fantasize about getting a quality partner,

Where in the world is there such a comfortable thing?

The root of unhappiness in love or marriage,

It was never because of the lack of "love",

Rather, there is a lack of "exchange".

A good relationship and marriage,

At least two values are harmonious.

If all three values are harmonious,

It was a match made in heaven.

If two harmonies and one discordant,

This is a portrayal of most couples,

Although it is bumpy, it can also go down.

If two of them are not in harmony,

It's hard to go down in this relationship.

If all three are not harmonious,

The end result must be a breakup.

The reason why Yu Xiuhua is transparent,

It is because she understands the essence of marriage:

The essence of marriage lies in the exchange of values.

We can't just emphasize in love that we have a plan,

And ignore what value they can provide to each other,

We must strive to establish the value of our own intentions,

In this way, the other party is willing to exchange the corresponding resources.

Why is the success rate of licking dogs particularly low?

To put it bluntly:

"You can't provide the value I want."

What makes a kind of interaction valuable is not the interaction itself,

It is the respective values of the interlocutors.

05

Third: be able to express needs generously.

What I admire most about Yu Xiuhua,

It's not that she sees the essence of love and marriage.

And it lies in the fact that she dares to admit that she has a plan:

I'm just trying to figure him out young and handsome, why?

Many of us,

Why live awkwardly, twist and pinch?

The root cause is that it is too ashamed to "have a plan",

Fear of not being able to be a good person in the hearts of others because of this.

But Yu Xiuhua is not like this,

She said, "Pretending is not my style."

She generously expresses her needs,

Generously express their own intentions,

He figured that I was rich and famous,

I figure him young and handsome,

We are secular and romantic.

In gender relations,

In any relationship,

We just want to be like Yu Xiuhua,

Generously acknowledged,

Generously strive for,

Generously show their value,

Generously exchange the value of others,

As long as you ensure that your value is good,

it can bring benefits to the other party,

That's a win-win situation, so why not.

There is no shame in exchanging benefits

Secret calculations are shameful.

Truly spiritually rich,

can generously express "need",

Generously control the face,

Generous worship of gold,

Generously pay,

Generously exchanged,

Generously strive for,

Generously accepted.

How does a person consider mental maturity?

Can express their needs generously,

There is no need for any sense of shame.

06

Fourth: have the courage to pay, can be disappointed.

What is courage to give?

It is to dare to pay without fear of loss.

What can be failed?

Is to be able to accept anyone's closeness,

But it can also face anyone's departure.

Now a lot of women,

Because of the fear that I will be hurt,

Because of the fear that love cannot last,

So I don't dare to fall in love and don't dare to pay.

But Yu Xiuhua is another kind of thinking,

So many people reminded her that she would get hurt,

So many people questioned that her love would not last,

But Yu Xiuhua said:

"I feel like the two of us are together at this stage.

Very happy and happy,

It's a pleasant relationship for both of us,

If one day he abandons me and breaks up with me,

I will fulfill him too. ”

Yu Xiuhua's view of love in this passage,

It is "the courage to pay, can be disappointed".

The so-called courage to pay,

Just don't live up to the encounter in the mighty spring breeze,

I think the two of us are together at this stage.

Very happy and happy,

That's enough.

Love is inherently unbridled,

If it happens, let it happen.

Since you like it,

Still worried about so much,

Just enjoy the moment.

It doesn't matter what the final result is.

The important thing is to love each other at this moment.

The so-called can be disappointed,

It's that if one day you don't love me anymore,

You choose to leave me,

Then I can accept it calmly,

Because I have loved and been happy,

So it doesn't matter.

I greatly admire Yu Xiuhua's view of love,

This is called "fate does not refuse, fate does not stay",

If you want to live a life full of joy,

As it should be.

07

Fifth: The meaning of life is greater than the meaning of love.

Yu Xiuhua said:

"If one day he abandons me and breaks up with me,

I will fulfill him, too,

Because of the meaning of everyone's life,

Be greater than the meaning that love brings. ”

For women:

I think this is the most important view of love.

Writer Li Xiaoyi wrote a very interesting article - "Are you a woman with only one fulcrum".

She said one thing in the article:

Li Xiaoyi has a friend,

It has been 20 years since the women's prison was run.

So Li Xiaoyi asked her:

"For what reason do women usually commit crimes?"

The friend replied, "Nine times out of ten it's because of emotional problems." ”

Li Xiaoyi asked again: "Then the age of women's crimes should be relatively low, right?" Young people have weak self-control and are prone to not thinking about doing stupid things. ”

The friend shook his head and said:

"Not really,

Instead, women aged 35-45 have the highest number of crimes.

You think, because of the distress caused by emotional problems,

When you are young, you often choose more ways to go,

I don't want to force myself to the desperate road without thinking about it.

And middle age is different,

If you take love as the whole of life,

Be the only fulcrum of life,

Then one day this fulcrum falls,

You're going to have a complete breakdown.

That is why many middle-aged women commit crimes. ”

Li Xiaoyi also did a women's survey,

After the investigation she came to a conclusion:

All women who regard love as the whole of life,

In the end, there were almost no good results.

"A woman who truly understands her life,

Will be like most men,

Live life as a multi-choice,

It's like a four-legged chair,

One less leg can still stand.

Instead of living as a single-choice question,

Like an umbrella, there is only one main bone,

And you have to count on others to hold on,

When it breaks, it will scatter into a pile, and it will not be able to support it again. ”

What does this mean?

in other words:

"Love shouldn't be a woman's greatest meaning.

Don't go around love every day,

A healthy pattern of love,

The proportion of love should only account for 30%-70%,

Not too much, and not too little.

Because you still have to leave room for your career,

Also leave room for hobbies and interests,

Also leave room for parents, children, friends,

All of these spaces exist,

Your life will be happy and full. ”

So Yu Xiuhuacai said:

The meaning of everyone's life,

Must be greater than the meaning of love,

We need to get strength and happiness from liking someone,

Instead of using all the strength and joy to like someone.