"Under unconscious gaze, we should be alert to a sense of self-prudence, a prudence that does not deliberately emphasize external physical characteristics."
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On April 29, poet Yu Xiuhua and boyfriend Yang Yongce took wedding photos live on social platforms, which aroused the attention of netizens. A few days later, the related topic #Yu Xiuhua married her boyfriend after 90s also appeared on the hot search list.
When yu Xiuhua is mentioned, many people's first impression is her identity as a peasant woman and a cerebral palsy patient, and her vivid and eager poetry creation. Her popularity is always more or less accompanied by the praise of "genius aura", and she is not only the "Internet celebrity female poet" in the public perception.
After becoming popular because of her poetry, Yu Xiuhua personally showed the vitality and sharpness that existed in the text, such as decisively ending the marriage that existed in name only, and openly saying that "divorce is the happiest thing I have ever done in my life."
People lament the sobriety and firmness of her escape from the unhappy marriage relationship, but when Yu Xiuhua's new love affair was made public, this exclamation gradually gave rise to some confusion and curiosity.
(Video of Yang Yongce's public love affair)
On January 1, 2022, a user account named "Yang Yongce" posted a video in Douyin revealing Yu Xiuhua's relationship with himself. After this, the two will share love stories with netizens in the form of short videos and live broadcasts from time to time.
Yu Xiuhua, who once said that "a woman has no love, no one can beat", now seems to be deeply trapped in the sweetness of love. People are curious about her new love affair, and after learning that Yang Yuce was born in 90 years and was 15 years away from her, they also secretly speculated about Yang Yuce's identity and purpose.
(Douyin netizen comment)
Does this post-90s boyfriend have any other plans? Is the relationship between the two parties acting? In the face of some netizens' doubts and malice, Yu Xiuhua's response video is direct and frank: "The essence of any gender relationship is to have a plan. ”
The love of "each with its own intentions", as in the controversy of "this is also worthy of being called poetry", reflects Yu Xiuhua's resistance to traditional social norms. It is worth reminding that as readers and outsiders, when we pay attention to Yu Xiuhua's relationship with her boyfriend after 90, is it pure curiosity, or is it a presumptuous deduction in discipline?
From poetry to reality:
Yu Xiuhua, known for her "resistance"
When she first entered the public eye, Yu Xiuhua surprised many readers with her surprising imagination and warm expression of feelings in her poems. Born in a peasant household, Yu Xiuhua has not received higher education, or even a sound body, but the words show a kind of naturalness and sincerity rooted in the soil, which is undoubtedly a different atmosphere from modern mainstream poetry.
Liu Nian, the editor of the Poetry Journal, once described Yu Xiuhua's poems as "smoky and fiery, with mud and sand, and obvious blood stains between words." Regardless of whether the description of "blood stain" is accurate or not, the poetry controversy that Yu Xiuhua faced after becoming famous cannot but be noisy.
(Yu Xiuhua's controversial poetry works)
When she writes about love, she writes about love and love, and she does not express her lust in the slightest. Yu Xiuhua, who originally wrote "Cross most of China to sleep with you", continued to write directly and boldly about love and sex in his later works.
As a vulnerable woman and disabled person, Yu Xiuhua openly places her narrative and pursuit of love and desire under the gaze, and in fact challenges the traditional gender system framework.
Although controversy over the quality of his works has always existed, and the fierce and naked language expression has heated up the controversy, Yu Xiuhua does not seem to be afraid of the existence of criticism. She openly confronted the bad critics on public platforms such as Weibo, showed a fighting posture, and ruthlessly exercised her right to fight back, and was once called a "keyboard man nemesis" by netizens.
(Yu Xiuhua replied to the bad comment on Weibo)
From "Internet celebrity female poet" to "keyboard hero nemesis", Yu Xiuhua in the public vision has long been more than just the poet who expresses directness. In fact, the more I learned about Yu Xiuhua's personal experience, the more I could feel the arbitrary resistance that she exuded from her language and writing. This struggle, which perpetuates beyond poetry, runs through the real suffering she has suffered since birth.
Peasant woman, cerebral palsy, divorce, in the face of her own personal identity labels, she is reluctant to label herself, but does not seem to mind exposing these identity labels to the public eye, but instead writes her own life story in the struggle against physical disabilities and marital shackles.
For Yu Xiuhua, she became popular for her poetry and is also famous for her own struggles.
"Each has its own intentions" love:
Another move to break the mundane
In addition to the controversy over her work, Yu Xiuhua has also been controversial for her choice of divorce after becoming famous.
In 2015, yu Xiuhua became popular at the time, and just after achieving financial independence with publishing fees, she decided to divorce her husband. Some people think that Yu Xiuhua abandoned the "husband of chaff" after becoming famous, but some people appreciate her courage to withdraw from the unhappy marriage.
When people reach middle age, this marriage that began with parental arrangements has also experienced the baptism of years. For Yu Xiuhua, her achievements in poetry writing have given her independent capital, allowing her not to be attached to her husband because of physical defects, but to find herself more powerfully.
(Yu Xiuhua writing at home)
Equally talented and talented, Lila in the Neapolitan Tetralogy struggles with the fate of oppressed women, but finds it difficult to truly escape from an unhappy marital relationship. In contrast, Yu Xiuhua was fortunate to rely on poetry to break through the shackles of arranged marriage to a disabled woman in the countryside.
However, the defects of external physical characteristics still exist and still test Yu Xiuhua's life. In the interview, she confessed: "In the years after the divorce, I was struggling with myself, and I had to find someone to prove that my body (to get) love was not hindered, and the result was that I slapped myself, which really could not be proved." ”
Perhaps Yu Xiuhua at that time did not expect that she would fall into a love that was related to poetry. After disclosing her relationship with Yang Yongce, Yu Xiuhua responded to netizens' concerns and speculations through the Douyin video, and the sentence "The essence of any gender relationship is to have a plan" has aroused a lot of support.
(Netizens agree with Yu Xiuhua's views)
In Yu Xiuhua's statement, this relationship is not an impulsive act on the head of the love brain, she also has a clear self-perception of intimate relationships, neither denying the attraction brought by her fame, nor rejecting the courage to invest in a relationship again.
In fact, people support not only Yu Xiuhua's frankness and transparency in the concept of gender relations and marriage and love, but also her courage to fight and the tenacity of her self-pursuit in her suffering life.
Beyond speculation,
Is it possible to get rid of the arrogance of the "able-bodied person"?
Of course, we can understand that the evaluation of poetry is different, and the understanding of love varies from person to person. However, there are many people who write poems, why do people frequently pay attention to Yu Xiuhua's every move?
One possibility is that when we pay attention to Yu Xiuhua, we are not only looking at the works and lives of a public figure and a celebrity, but also unconsciously examining her different from ordinary people, such as those identity labels that are deliberately mentioned, such as the "out of line" of her words and deeds.
(Yang Yongce replied to netizens' questions in the comment area)
After the love affair was made public, although many people supported and blessed it, some netizens still rejected Yu Xiuhua's loving behavior and speculated that her relationship was not equal. Especially after Yu Xiuhua cooperated with the live broadcast to take wedding photos, the doubts of "valuing fame and fortune" and "teamwork" have been disturbed.
In fact, this speculation about love attempts still limits the basis of love to physical charm, tacitly acknowledging Yu Xiuhua's weak position in intimate relationships. It seems that in the public evaluation standard, sincere love can only be based on sound, young, beautiful external physical characteristics, when Yu Xiuhua's love does not meet the traditional norms, people naturally regard fame and fortune as a quid pro quo for love.
However, can a person with a physical disability only be attached to the other half of the intimate relationship?
(Poems written by Yu Xiuhua after falling in love)
Yu Xiuhua was forced into the previous marriage for this reason, but did not harvest a happy life. Compared with Yu Xiuhua's bravery and frankness in exposing her love affair to social networks, the speculation and doubts that arise are full of condescending malice of viewers.
In the movie "Tuina", the role of "Du Hong" played by Mei Ting has a beautiful appearance, and the customers who come to Tuina all praise her beautiful appearance. However, for Du Hong, who has lost her vision, the "outward beauty" in the eyes of a healthy person means nothing to her. The praise of the so-called "normal people" may not be malicious, but the sympathy and regret that are revealed outside the praise can never get rid of a condescending arrogance.
(From the movie "Tuina")
Therefore, when we focus our attention on Yu Xiuhua, it may be difficult to get rid of the unconscious gaze from the perspective of "healthy people", but under this unconsciousness, we should be vigilant to maintain a kind of prudence about the self, a prudence that does not deliberately emphasize the obstruction of external physical characteristics.
For Yu Xiuhua, perhaps life is not to cut off the past and restart, but to be in progress all the time. Falling into a real new relationship is also part of her struggle against fate as a vulnerable person.
For us who are separated from the screen, it may not be difficult to speculate and evaluate, but the vitality and courage to fight that Yu Xiuhua has are difficult for us to have.
(Image from the Internet)
Resources:
[1] The most character "46-year-old Yu Xiuhua: I am in love, boyfriend after 90"
[2] Three Gorges Evening News, "46-year-old "ghost talent" poet Yu Xiuhua is in love, and her boyfriend is a post-90s generation"
[3] In the human world, "Yu Xiuhua: A woman without love, no one can beat"
[4] Beijing News Book Review Weekly "Yu Xiuhua's New Poems Cause Controversy: Who Did Women's Erotic Writing Offend?" 》