If parents want their children to learn math and English well, they can make up for their children outside of class; if they want their children to learn music and dance well, they can send their children to art tutoring classes for practice. But morality cannot be trained like learning, nor can it be sent to school or other places, only personal experience is the best. We just want our children to know how beautiful the world is
Some stories are often heard:
Many people even if they are thirty or forty years old,
Still living with my parents.
And more often than not,
Parents want to keep their children around.
For a long time,
It is difficult for children to achieve psychological independence.
Your child's abilities are beyond your imagination
Not long ago, in Jeju Island, a man seduced a young girl, resulting in the death of the child. The place where the body was found was only 70 meters away from the child's home.
Seeing this news, if you have a small child who has already gone to school, you may immediately think that you will have to pick up your child from tomorrow to and from school every day. Not only that, but even when your child plays in the casino in front of your home, you may be worried; sending your child to a tutoring class at night will also be afraid. But that's all parents can do.
A mother once said to me: "In addition to the education fever in Korea, there is no environment suitable for raising children." For the sake of our children, we are looking for ways to immigrate. "I understand very well the feelings of these parents. But I want to tell them that although parents are always worried, the children's ability is beyond their parents' imagination, and even surprises them: "Our children still have this ability?"
Think of the first time a child goes to kindergarten, he cries so badly that he doesn't want to leave the house. But after a day or two, as if nothing had happened, I happily walked out of the house to kindergarten. Later, it became a kindergarten that liked more friends. Parents are always worried that their children will not get along well with their friends, but the children do well. They'll play with toys or snack together and occasionally fight, but in the end they'll be able to handle the relationship well on their own.
Sometimes it is necessary to deliberately put the child in a contradictory situation
I always say to parents, "Whenever possible, get your kids out of the house as soon as possible." ”
I often advise parents to send their children to places like group camping or experience school. A dozen children leaving home and living together as a group is the beginning of hardship. The child is already very bitter when he leaves home, but there are still many things to do, he has to walk a lot, he will be physically tired, and most importantly, in the process of getting along with strangers, there will be many contradictions. There, children no longer have special treatment, not as parents at home to help solve problems, and no grandparents who love them to give care. Every child has his own personality and wants to do things according to his own wishes, and contradictions are inevitable. But they also have to solve problems together, but they don't have their parents around to arbitrate conflicts and advise them. Children have to face all the situations on their own, and this kind of hardship can be imagined.
One thing is very clear, children definitely have the ability to solve problems on their own. When children fight, if you leave it to them to deal with, you will be surprised to find that children will have very reasonable solutions in many cases. They resolve disputes and conflicts on their own, and the wrong side has to pay a "price", which can solve the problem better than adult intervention. Contradictions can make children mature, so it is necessary for parents to deliberately put their children in a contradictory situation.
Ways to train children to become leaders
In collective life, children play different roles in conflicting situations, and may be "parties" to the contradiction, may be "arbitrators", or may be ordinary "victims". Among them, the "arbitrator" may be a new role that the child has not been exposed to. At home, Mom and Dad act as arbitrators, and when only the children are together, it is inevitable that someone in the children will take this role. Through this process, children are able to learn how to think and judge correctly. When the role of arbitrator is successfully played, it will also enhance the child's self-confidence.
In the social family, it is impossible for people to have no opinions or differences, no arguments or quarrels, and the ability to eliminate and deal with these contradictions is very important. People who always create contradictions and cannot solve them well cannot succeed. Only when a person has the ability to resolve contradictions peacefully can he have better development.
Therefore, parents should let their children go out of the house early and experience various contradictions. By solving small contradictions, children experience major contradictions when they grow up, and they can also naturally find ways to solve contradictions, which is the real life education and experiential education.
The eye is clear. Sometimes what a child needs is not a book that inspires the soul or a tutoring class, but a paradise where he can find himself and inspire him to move forward. It is better to let the child go out and walk around more than anything, can it really improve the academic performance by letting him go out and play? Not so godly, but at least you plant a seed in your child's heart: always curious about the unknown life. Isn't this more important than academic performance?
Read more teach good articles