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In spite of the storm, I stood still – why are parents anxious and children indifferent?

The pace of work and life in modern society is getting faster and faster, especially the office workers who are middle-aged parents are all in a high-intensity and fast-paced life. However, on the issue of children's education, we often see the phenomenon that the pace of parents' work and life is getting faster and faster, but their children are thriving in learning and life. The parents were anxious to burn their eyebrows, but they looked slow and leisurely like they had nothing to do with themselves.

In spite of the storm, I stood still – why are parents anxious and children indifferent?

For example: getting up in the morning, it is close to school time, parents are anxious like ants on a hot pot, and children are still grinding and rubbing to play with toys and eat, without the slightest concern. At night, when it is time to go to bed, children are still slowly writing homework, toys are not packed, and many parents may sigh: if they can go back to school now, their grades may be much better than they were then, and they can go to a better school. Now, the proportion of parents appearing in such families is getting higher and higher, and parents are very hard and very worried, but children do not take learning as a thing at all. So every day, there are many parents who have conflicts with their children because they get up because they eat breakfast, because they read, because they write homework, and so on. The feeling of many parents is that they have paid such a big price and sacrifice, but the child does not feel the pain of the parents in the slightest, and he is going all out, but the child is still passively slacking off.

Then we have to think about what is the reason for this situation. Why what was originally a child's business has finally become a parent's business.

The first reason for this result is overstepping and over-intervention by parents.

In fact, at a certain age stage, children are willing to work on their own and complete their own things, such as wanting to take dishes and chopsticks to eat, wanting to wash clothes and clean, dressing themselves, and so on. However, many parents are afraid of trouble or danger of over-intervention, resulting in their children's lack of opportunities to learn to exercise.

In spite of the storm, I stood still – why are parents anxious and children indifferent?

For example: children have to learn to eat on their own, but because of the fear that children will dirty the body of the clothes, or too much love for the child, parents often pick up the bowl to feed; children want to work to wash dishes and wash clothes or clean up, parents often feel that children will not do anything, washing clothes is to play with water, sweeping the floor is often a mess, so simply prevent them from doing these things, do not give them the opportunity to learn and grow.

I believe that many parents have had such a situation. After a period of time, the child will feel that he does not have to do anything and does not have to think, and the parents will get everything right, and since then he has formed a dependence. Parents successfully deprive their children of the motivation to learn and think, and turn the things that children should learn and master to complete into parents' affairs.

Therefore, parents must pay attention to the fact that when the child is willing to do what he can, in the case of ensuring safety, he must let him learn, try, and grow on his own. After all, children must grow up and go to society independently to live alone. You can take care of him for a while, but you can't take care of him for a lifetime.

The second reason is that the excessive nervousness of parents makes themselves vulnerable in the relationship with their children, resulting in a dilemma.

We observe a phenomenon, for example, when you go shopping, you see something that you really like and you are very excited. If you show your excitement and excitement at this moment, when the price is finally negotiated, you are already very passive and subject to others. So, the smart buyer will be in such a state: even if he likes the item very much, he will act very indifferent and do not care. The other party sees that you don't care, will give you preferential treatment step by step, and finally you may be able to close at a low price. In the game between people, the same truth is true, that is: whoever is anxious is passive, who is anxious is whose business, and whoever is anxious first loses.

So when you encounter such a situation, even if you are very nervous and anxious, you have to show a very indifferent state, so that you may let the child be anxious, not you are anxious. For example, one parent shared his story. Children like to sleep late in school, even if they wake up, they can't get up in bed, and every time they go out late, they remember that there is no way.

In spite of the storm, I stood still – why are parents anxious and children indifferent?

Later, she chose the time to solemnly tell the child that it is your own business to get up and study from now on, and you have to arrange your own time. Early the next morning, the child still couldn't get out of bed. This time, his mother was not in a hurry, but only reminded him to arrange his own things in a few places. When the child finally slowly wakes up and finds that he is late, he is very anxious and rushes to school with his school bag. Mom still acted casually and said, Oh, I haven't finished my breakfast yet. As a result, the child urged, hurry up, late to be criticized by the teacher, very anxious. The mother slowly ate breakfast, wiped her mouth, and changed out of the door, but the child was always in a state of nervousness.

Maybe this process will be repeated, will not achieve the effect once or twice, but as long as you insist, the child's things should make him anxious to catch fire, I believe that it will gradually change the unbalanced relationship between parents and children, so that children from passive to active.

So when you meet a child who should do it on their own, please control your emotions, who is anxious and angry, who will be the loser.

If you have confusion or feelings in the parent-child relationship, you are welcome to leave a message and we will communicate together. If the above content is helpful to you, you are welcome to forward it to a friend who loves learning as much as you, and may be able to help others.

Accumulate steps and go thousands of miles. Change, from now on. This is Yu Ying Fang, let us cultivate excellent children together and create a happy family.

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