Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
Many people think that there is a huge difference between the concept of education in the East and the West, and we often force the education of our children very tightly, while the West pursues liberal educationism, but the truth is not so simple.
Whether it is China or Western countries, everyone actually contains strong psychological expectations in educating children, Chinese hope that children will become dragons and women will become phoenixes, while foreigners propose not to let children lose on the starting line.
However, the education methods of the East and the West are slightly different, and most of the parenting experiences of Chinese actually refer to traditional culture and ancient texts, such as the Three Character Classic, disciple rules or Analects, etc., the main purpose of which is to let children form correct values when they are young, so as to achieve ideological enlightenment.
However, Western educational concepts tend to constrain children in behavior, such as the Pygmalion effect, where psychologists exert external influences and the child does what he thinks.
In addition, Harvard University has spent 75 years studying the growth of individuals, and because of its long time and great impact, this experiment was once famous in the world.
Over the course of 75 years, the researchers studied the life experiences of 724 men, who asked about their work, family, and health year after year in order to track the real situation.
The 724 men were divided into two groups by the researchers:
The first group was undergraduates admitted to Harvard University in 1938
The second group consisted of children of the same age living in slums
So far, only 60 people are still alive and agree to the next study, of course, they are all over 90 years old.
Studies have shown that children who grow up and have a career often have the following four characteristics.
First, have good interpersonal relationships
As a social animal, maintaining good interpersonal relationships is the foundation of a good life, whether it is life or work, we can not avoid dealing with other people. Whether it is animals or humans, only by having a good relationship with the creatures around you can you have the possibility of further development.
Among the participants in many experiments, those who achieve success in adulthood often have good communication skills, and for them, it is very easy to form a good interaction with the people around them, which makes such people make friends widely, and most of them are smoother in the subsequent struggle process.
Parents can properly exercise their children's interpersonal skills, if the child understands the skills of interpersonal communication and respects others, then the probability of him getting a good interpersonal relationship is relatively large, of course, do not have to let the child be too slippery, communication is important, but sincerity is the first place.
Second, there is a sense of problems and delve into psychology
Most children have a strong curiosity, and when their social experience is shallow and they do not know enough about the outside world, children especially like to ask adults all kinds of questions, such as what is this? Why is that?
Children ask adults in the hope of getting answers and satisfying their curiosity, if parents encounter such a situation, do not show a state of anger due to irritability or impatience, you should feel happy, because this ability is a necessary prerequisite for success.
Harvard University has learned through research that those who achieve great things in adulthood often show a strong curiosity at an early age, and this curiosity even continues into adulthood.
Curiosity as a child can be understood as an exploration of the world, and curiosity when you grow up belongs to targeted research.
If people with a deluded mind encounter something difficult to solve in their daily life, their first reaction is never to ask for help, but to constantly observe, hoping to solve the problem according to their own ability.
Third, have a strong independent personality
Parents should not think that their children do not need independence because of their age, the child's sense of independence is cultivated from a young age, if you always help them complete various tasks, they will not be able to obtain the ability to live independently.
Most successful people form an independent personality at an early age and still maintain the same independent habits when they grow up. Independent personality can make individuals more decisive in making decisions, and this is the key to success.
Fourth, the psychology of learning never stops
As the saying goes, living to learn from old age, learning is not only a matter for students, adults also need to continue to learn.
One of the characteristics of successful people is that they are good at learning, even if they have graduated into society, even if they have their own children, they will still often read and think, so as to improve their ideological realm.
If you want to raise your child to be a successful person, you may wish to start with the above 4 points.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205