Guangzhou Listen and Listen To Bar Psychological Counseling Guide:
As parents, we all expect our children to be able to adapt quickly to school life and have fun learning.
However, in real life, many children feel that going to school is a chore, and even tell you that "school is a nasty place, I don't want to go to school!"
What to do?
When children do not have a good impression of school and do not want to go to school, how to guide children?
▼ Guangzhou heard that the child psychological counseling is for you.
Miss Zhang's son is 8 years old this year, in the second grade of school, has begun to dislike his school, said that the teachers are very good, is to hate the school, feel that there is a lot of homework, every day to go to school is not happy, often said "Mom, we don't go to school, okay?" ”
In this regard, Miss Zhang had to constantly comfort and encourage the children, saying a lot of school benefits, and when there was really no way, she also said the disadvantages of not going to school, but the children still could not listen, and they always grinded and chirped when they went to school every day, and they were unwilling to go.
Children's reluctance to go to school must be for a reason. Whatever the reason, when the child does not have a good impression of the school at present, if the benefits of the school are always emphasized, the child will feel that the parents do not understand their pain at all, and do not take the matter they say seriously.
At the same time, you also conveyed the message to your child that the child's bad impression of school is "incorrect". As a result, children's resistance to school will become stronger and stronger.
In the face of children's dissatisfaction with school and unwillingness to go to school, how should we deal with it?
1. Respect your child's feelings
The average parent is more inclined to see the positive and sunny side of their children, and is not willing to face the real negative emotions of their children. As a child, if you can clearly and vividly use some words to express his inner feelings, rather than making impulsive behaviors, this is actually a very reasonable emotional discharge.
At present, some schools still stay in the past cramming education method, so that children feel repressed and forced, but do not feel respected and understood.
A child who grows up in such an environment, he has negative emotions is actually a fairly normal phenomenon. In response to such a phenomenon, the more parents forbid their children's expression, their anger and pressure will continue to escalate.
Therefore, instead of suppressing the child's expression, it is better to give the child the space to tell and respect the child's feelings.
2. Warm and firm guidance
Companionship and listening will make children feel understood, but also let their emotions be released, but child psychologists remind parents that when they see and recognize their children's feelings, do not let the children have a fluke mentality, thinking that they can not go to school.
When the child's emotions calm down, it is necessary to "take advantage of the cold to hit the iron", give the child positive and effective guidance, and help the child better adapt to school life.
Parents can take the phrase, "I'm sorry you don't want to go to school." All children have to go to school, and no one can be an exception. But fortunately, no one has to like going to school. ”
If your child is more introverted and not good at speaking his heart, you can guide your child to express his inner feelings in this way, "School makes you feel uneasy?—— you don't really understand its situation, do you?" Do you think school is not good at all? What do you think?—— how can a school be like this?" ......
This helped him to continue to go to school the next day with a feeling of freshness and happiness to be fully engaged in learning.
3. Accompany your child through a difficult learning journey
After your warm and firm guidance, the child has some good expectations for the school. However, in the face of objective reality stimuli - such as encountering inappropriate teachers, peer relationship conflicts or coldness, children will still have some emotions (although not as strong as before, but there will still be some).
At this time, parents are a professional "bomb disposal expert" for children, regularly do "crisis intervention" for children, and parents need to tolerate and understand children without a judgmental mentality, with gentle and firm love, understand the environment he is in now, and accompany children through the difficult learning process. If a child's emotions are not suppressed and accumulated, anger will not be distorted, and there is no need to worry about causing harm to others and the environment.
Guangzhou heard about the handwriting of the child psychological counselor
As a parent, if we do not experience fairness and adequate care in our upbringing, it is difficult for us to give others enough space and listen completely without criticism.
But when the counseling gradually deepens, when the client can fully experience the respect and listening of the counselor, and try to dredge up their own internal negative emotions, but also can coexist with the negative emotions in an objective attitude, so that there is no need to suppress or project their negative emotions to others.
Such growth will be the best gift for children and families.