Author: A Corner of the Heart (Parents Intensive Reading Author)
Evolutionary mother: Raising a child is never an easy thing, parents choose to give birth to a child, they will do everything to raise their children, that is a sweet burden, but also a kind of happiness in life.
"This year's tuition fee at New York University is $56,500, and we paid it all in one go before my son started, but I have been told to rise to $80,878 next, which is equivalent to more than 40 percent."
"My son lives in a one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, and the monthly rent is $5,000, plus the intermediary fees and various insurance premiums that need to be paid to rent a house, and the housing expenditure exceeds 400,000 yuan a year."
These two passages come from Ms. Fang in Hangzhou, whose son Xiaoliang was sent to the United States for junior high school when she was 14 years old, and Xiaoliang was already a freshman at New York University 6 years later.
Although Ms. Fang's family is considered to be a middle-income family in Hangzhou, letting her son study abroad from junior high school is ahead of the concept, but the financial contribution is also huge.
From tuition to accommodation to living expenses, Xiao Liang spends at least more than one million yuan a year, and Ms. Fang calculates the economic accounts of these years, and has regrets, happiness and sighs in her heart.
Growing up, Xiao Liang can understand the difficulty of his parents providing for his own education, in order to save money, slowly learn to cook for himself, and plan to share a room with his classmates to save accommodation costs.
From the interview, we can also see that due to her young age and no experience in living independently, Xiao Liang felt lonely when she first arrived abroad, which also made Ms. Fang very worried.
But Ms. Fang firmly said: "Regardless of whether the value is worth it, overseas education and international vision, the cultivation of children's world view and outlook on life, is a lifetime of wealth." ”
After becoming a parent, we all know that to raise a child, we need to pay both material and spiritual contributions, so should we consider whether these efforts are worth it?
In fact, most parents understand that it is necessary to raise children according to the actual situation of the family, especially in terms of money, in order to maintain a harmonious parent-child relationship and family atmosphere.
Raising children must consider economic strength, otherwise it will hurt two generations
Last year, a WeChat screenshot of an international student insulting his father because of insufficient living expenses on the Internet caused many people to be indignant.
The girl who posted studied in Spain, her father's monthly salary is 13,000 yuan, and she has to give the girl 11,000 yuan for living expenses.
When the father and daughter quarreled, it was because the girl had no money to eat, so she used her father's credit card to spend dozens of euros, but the father mistakenly thought that the girl was spending extra money.
The girl was very angry because of this, so she sent the screenshot of the chat to the friend group, and also used the word "dead mother" plus her father's name to insult her father as a "disgusting thing".
Do parents spend all their money to send their daughters to school in exchange for such unconscionable insults? The parents' hearts must have been thoroughly broken.
After the fermentation of the matter, under the one-sided criticism of the Internet, the girl finally admitted that she had done wrong and said that she would reflect on her words and deeds.
In fact, this matter should remind parents that if the family's economic strength is not enough to support their children to study abroad, why not choose a more matching learning method in the first place?
In the "China Fertility Cost Report 2022 Edition" released some time ago, various childcare costs are estimated according to the data on residents' income and consumption expenditure released by the National Bureau of Statistics and various prices.
Overall, the cost of raising children aged 0-17 in families nationwide is 485,000 yuan, of which 631,000 yuan are for urban families and 300,000 yuan for rural families.
For families in Beijing and Shanghai in first-tier cities, the average cost of raising children aged 0-17 is 969,000 yuan and 1,026,000 yuan, respectively.
These data are really amazing, think about the annual income of each of our families, really need to wake up, raising children can not give everything, not only tired parents, it is easier to raise bad children.
The correct posture for raising children to spend money should be like this
I remembered the other day, having dinner with my good friends.
When it comes to the topic of responding to the state's call to have three children, we found that the five middle-aged women here are not qualified, because we have not even implemented the second child.
There was a friend who had the idea of having a second child two years ago, but when he thought of the various interest classes and the cost of eating and wearing on his son every year, he immediately extinguished the small flame that wanted to move.
As parents, we all want to give our children the best nurturing, so there is nothing wrong with thinking like this, but we should master the correct posture of spending money in order to be able to afford and raise children well.
First, plan the cost of raising a child each year based on the family's income.
On January 17, 2022, the National Bureau of Statistics released 2021 economic data, of which the per capita disposable income of residents nationwide for the whole year was 35,128 yuan.
According to the permanent residence, urban residents are 47412 yuan and rural residents are 18931 yuan.
Judging from the situation that I live in a small county on the eastern coast, most of the families have an annual income of about 100,000 yuan, which matches the per capita data of the whole country.
Each family should make detailed financial planning, and determine the range of expenses spent on children based on the total income of the year, generally not more than half of the total family income.
At the end of December each year, it is also necessary to summarize all the expenses of the child for the year in a timely manner, assess whether it is beyond the budget, and adjust the total cost range of the next year in time to ensure that it does not affect the harmony of the family.
Second, adjust the cost of raising a child according to the age of the child.
Children grow up day by day, and the content of money that needs to be spent is constantly changing, such as the cost of eating and drinking Lasa before school age, and the cost of learning education after school age.
My girlfriend once complained to me that her son had just entered high school, and he had paid a lot of tuition and accommodation fees at the beginning of the school, and the cost of various subjects and auxiliary materials was a large amount of money, which frightened her to quickly look at the family's savings, afraid that she would not be able to afford her son's three-year high school.
The China Fertility Cost Report 2022 Edition points out that the average annual parenting cost for children aged 0-2 is 22,000, 34,000 for 3-5-year-old children, 22,000 for 6-14-year-old children, and 26,000 for 15-17-year-old children.
It is obvious that the older the child, the higher the cost, and the parents should gradually increase the cost of learning and education according to the age of the child, laying the foundation for the cultivation of outstanding children.
Third, according to the economic strength, reasonably choose the child's consumption grade.
I saw a Weibo blogger write: "According to incomplete statistics, eggshells have about 20+ membership cards in various shopping malls, and today there are two more." "The child in the picture looks to be about 3 years old."
Many parents uphold the consumption concept of "as long as the child likes to buy", and even give their children a lot of membership cards for various playgrounds, as well as buy a lot of high-end dolls, cars and other toys.
Impulse consumption should not be, not to mention because the child "wants" to pay money, parents must keep a clear mind, reasonably choose the appropriate consumption grade, can not drag down the family economy.
Only by understanding the principle of living within their means and withstanding the noise of their children can parents keep the bottom line of spending money on their children, ensure that the cost of raising children every year does not exceed the standard, and gradually accumulate family wealth.
Raising children is not only about spending money, but more importantly, spending money
A Weibo blogger named "Mushroom's Second Story" recorded that she had been too busy lately to spend much time with her children, getting up in the morning to help her children clean their school bags and check their homework, and then kissing their children's small faces and feet.
At that moment, she suddenly understood the meaning of raising children, "that is, even if life is hard and tired, but with this little thing, you will feel that everything is worth it and full of hope!" ”
It is true that raising children is not only to spend money on children, but more importantly, parents should spend their hearts and minds to grow up with their children and give their children enough love and security.
My son is in the sixth grade of primary school, he is already a 12-year-old teenager, and in the past 12 years, I have personally done my best with my husband, from eating and drinking Lhasa to learning education.
We buy ordinary milk powder and cheap clothes for our children, and give them calligraphy and piano interest classes, and the money that should be spent is never stingy, and the money that should not be spent is resolutely not spent.
Every day after work and every weekend, we take our children to read, exercise, and play together, and cultivate their learning habits and good character in close companionship.
I once read a saying: "Having children is a responsibility, raising children is an obligation." ”
Raising a child is never an easy task, parents choose to give birth to a child, they will do everything to raise the child, that is a sweet burden, but also a kind of happiness in life.
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