Now parents are really doing their best for their children, in order to give their children enough companionship, take care of the child's diet and living, some families will choose one side to stay at home full-time with the baby, especially that kind, the child's school is far from home, and parents are not assured that the child lives in the school, will choose to rent a house near the school to accompany the study.
There are also families with good conditions that may send their children to study abroad, and their mothers will quit their jobs at home and accompany them abroad.
Ms. Li is a reading mother. After her daughter went to junior high school, she quit her job and rented a room near the school to accompany her.
I thought that with my own company, my daughter's grades would be among the best like in elementary school, but I didn't expect that my child's grades have been declining, and my personality has changed from cheerful to gloomy and introverted. This made Ms. Li very anxious.
She had a deep conversation with her daughter.
Through the conversation, Ms. Li learned that her daughter saw her resign to take care of herself, paid so much, and was very unwilling to go, she wanted to use excellent results to repay her mother, and the huge psychological pressure made her daughter's internal friction grow larger and larger, her learning efficiency became lower and lower, and her grades became worse and worse.
The decline in grades, in turn, intensified the pressure and self-blame of the daughter, who was full of self-denial, her personality slowly changed, and her learning status became worse and worse.
Ms. Li regretted it, she said: If you start again, you will never choose to accompany the reading!
The benefits of accompanying reading
Reading this with you, the benefits are obvious.
The first is to take care of the child's life to the greatest extent, to ensure that the child's three meals a day, from adolescence to adolescence, is the golden stage of the child's physical development, to ensure balanced nutrition, but also to lay a good foundation for the next few decades.
The second is to be able to pay attention to the child's emotions and psychology at any time, and provide timely help and guidance for the child. Especially adolescent children, they are facing physical and psychological changes, easy to go astray, the company of parents, can greatly reduce this possibility.
The third is to provide one-on-one learning help for children, the primary school stage can help homework, after the child enters junior high school, parents may not be able to help homework, but still from the learning method, learning state adjustment, appropriate stress reduction for children, help children collect test information and other aspects to help children, so that children can learn more easily.
High-quality accompaniment does help children a lot.
A key middle school class teacher frankly said: Parents accompany reading is a very good choice, those children who have parents to accompany, the probability of admission to college will be much higher than the average student.
But there are not many parents who can accompany high-quality reading, after all, it requires strong economic support, and parents need to be mentally mature and emotionally stable, and they need to have great wisdom and pattern.
If this is not possible, accompanying reading is likely to become a purgatory for children and parents.
The disadvantages of accompanying reading
Mothers who choose to accompany them will generally encounter 4 dilemmas!
1. Suffocating parent-child relationship
Many accompanying mothers have clear goals, hoping that accompanying reading will make children's health better, learning better, and they will have higher expectations for their children, such as how many points to score on the exam, how many places to reach in the class rankings, and so on.
In order to achieve their goals, they will increase their control over their children, too wide and too strict, and make the children feel suffocated.
If the child's grades are not ideal, the mother will be particularly anxious, and the anxious emotions will be transmitted to the child, and it is easy to stimulate the conflict between parents and children, making the parent-child relationship worse.
Of course, if the family conditions are good, the mother does not have to worry about the economy, it will not be desperate, it will be more tolerant, but if the family conditions are average, all the expectations will be pinned on the child, and the mother and the child will be overwhelmed.
Therefore, it is recommended that families with general economic conditions carefully choose to accompany them.
2. A single parent may not be able to cope with the problem of adolescence in their children
After children enter puberty, there will be huge changes in physiology and psychology, and they will deliberately stay away from their parents, especially with parents of the opposite sex.
There is a reading mother who found that her son in high school will watch small movies, and this mother thinks that watching such movies is not good, but she does not know how to communicate with her son, and she finds it difficult to talk. And if there is a father at this time, communication will become relatively easy, and it will not make the son feel offended.
Outside of puberty, children will become emotionally unstable, some children will become particularly frizzy, and they will explode at one point, and you have no idea what kind of drastic actions he will make next.
Parents can only tremble and tremble, such as walking on thin ice, and even some parents dare not come out in front of their children.
Adolescence is a critical period of family education, and it requires the cooperation of fathers and mothers to help children get through smoothly.
In this special stage of adolescence, it is best not to let the other half miss the child's education.
3. The child's independent ability will lag behind
There are many accompanying mothers who have turned themselves into babysitters for their children, and their care for their children is meticulous.
They would get up an hour early, help the child make breakfast, and fill the child's kettle with water.
In order to keep the child from burning his mouth when he eats, he will constantly take a spoon and stir the porridge to cool down.
In order to let the child waste less time, go downstairs in advance to start the car, and the child can get on the car as soon as he comes.
In order to make the child less tired, help the child carry the school bag day after day.
In addition, in addition to washing the laundry and doing housework, they also help the children clean up the room and tidy up the desk.
It seems to save the child a lot of trouble, but everything is done, in fact, the child's independent ability lags behind.
The child will need to go to his own life independently one day, and the mother must not move herself and raise the child to waste.
4. The relationship between husband and wife is broken
Many accompanying mothers face a problem that they are separated from their children's fathers for a long time, especially in families where their homes are far from school, usually where their fathers live at home, and mothers and children live in rental houses near schools.
Couples live separately for a long time and are prone to marital crises.
A accompanying mother said: From junior high school to high school, when I returned home, I found that I had been betrayed a long time ago, and I was too cold.
The hard work of accompanying reading, and finally the breakdown of the family, is really not worth the loss.
The relationship between husband and wife is always in the core position in the family relationship, and it must take precedence over the parent-child relationship, putting the cart before the horse, and the injured are not only the mothers who accompany the reading, but also the children.