Childish/Text
My grandma is 82 years old.
Just like many ordinary families in life, every family has its own story. My grandma and my mom didn't have a very good relationship. Of course, this kind of bad does not mean that their relationship must be incompatible. When we usually meet, my mother's attitude towards my grandmother is still polite, and she often buys things to drag my father to visit my grandmother and talk with her.
However, they should not stay together for too long, otherwise, my mother will be inexplicably angry, and she will start to talk impatiently, which will scare my grandmother.
My mother has always evaluated my grandmother, that is, she is not good at talking, often which pot does not open which pot, my mother is also a person who can't hide her words in her heart, and if there is any dissatisfaction, she will say it in person.
Therefore, in the details of getting along, some small embarrassments must still exist.
And the peace between them has been maintained for so many years.
My mother's attitude is: everyone is raising children, no matter what, some things should be done, filial piety should be done, otherwise if people are really absent one day, their hearts will definitely not go.
But at the same time, if you want to say how good my mother really is to my grandmother from the bottom of her heart, it is basically impossible. While she was doing things according to her conscience, she could not untie some of the knots in her heart.
The contradiction between my mother and my grandmother, if you have to go back in time, get more than thirty years ago.
When she and my dad were just married, my grandma and I often quarreled, mainly because my grandma wanted to be my mom's lord and listen to her everything. But my mom is also a very assertive person, who has her own ideas about everything and is more grumpy. After my grandmother said a little yin and yang weirdly, she would definitely express this dissatisfaction to her face.
She never put up with it.
Later, my little uncle, my father's youngest brother, also got married. My aunt is a person with a more gentle personality, which is in stark contrast to my mother, my grandmother said whatever she said, never talked back to my grandmother, or said something unpleasant, naturally my grandmother liked my aunt more.
Moreover, my grandmother is actually not smart, and she often shows this kind of eccentricity too obviously, which makes my mother's heart even more unhappy.
Especially during their confinement.
My grandma didn't take care of my mom. But my aunt had two children, both of whom my grandmother took care of at bedside. My mother was still uneven, saying that my aunt was confined, lying at home for two or three months, eating and drinking well, and she had to cook her own meals during confinement.
Of course, one of the main factors in this is that my grandmother and my aunt and uncle have not been separated. My parents were married at that time, they were separated, and they set up another home, while my uncle, as the youngest son in the family, continued to live with my grandmother after marriage, and this is still the case.
After so many years, the contradictions between them have really accumulated a lot.
It's just that my mom never said this to my grandmother's face, she just whispered behind her back that my grandmother was doing things unfairly. After saying that, I didn't do less of what I should do.
Privately, I think that my mother is not sparing, and what she does in practical action is much more powerful than my father as a son.
Including after my grandmother fell ill, it was usually my mother who stewed soup every day and delivered food to the hospital. My father would only say that my grandmother had worked very hard in this life and should be filial piety as a child, but usually let him visit, if my mother did not go, he would not go alone.
Because my grandmother has always been at my uncle's house, after my grandmother was 75 years old, my mother offered to take 3,000 alimony to my uncle's family every year, after all, according to the reason, my father has the obligation to support, but they do not have to support.
On this point, my uncle said no at first, but then my mother insisted that he still collected the money.
But gradually, my grandmother wanted to come to my home for the elderly.
There are three reasons for this.
First, my grandmother also realized that my mother was a knife-mouthed tofu heart, although sometimes it was not good to speak, but her heart was very good, so she often praised my mother now, saying that my mother was very capable and so on, but my mother's attitude was: Now that I am old, I will talk about this, and now it is late.
Second, although Grandma is older, her personality when she was young has basically not changed, to put it bluntly, she likes to be nosy, after all, many things in the family used to be decided by my grandmother. But now grandma sometimes manages too much, my aunt is not as gentle as before, and she will not listen to my grandmother's opinions, often saying that my grandmother is nosy and manages her own affairs well. My grandmother wanted to take care of not only them, but also my aunt's children. In fact, my aunt is also a very good person, she is just complaining, and she often complains to my mother. But in my grandmother's opinion, she thought that my aunt was disgusting her for being older, and she had not been like this before. Grandma also cried twice in front of my mom and said that my aunt didn't respect her, and my mom comforted my grandma, who later came to my house.
Third, my aunt is usually busy, and generally does not go home to eat at noon, so at noon, my grandmother needs to make her own meal. She's older now and doesn't want to cook her own food, and my mom is now retired and has a lot of free time. Grandma thought that when she came to my house, she should be more relaxed.
In fact, if my grandmother usually comes to my house for a few days, my mother is indeed very respectful, my grandmother does not have to do anything, every day the meal is handed to her hand, cooking is also very good to take care of my grandmother's taste, after all, my grandmother's teeth have fallen out almost. My grandmother thought my mom was fine.
But my mom certainly didn't want to.
My mother's attitude towards this has never changed, she always thinks: take 3,000 alimony a year, don't be dissatisfied, I am very interesting.
Because she is good out of the surface, it stems from her belief that people should talk about conscience, which does not mean that she really has no opinion on my grandmother and agrees with my grandmother's practices and words and deeds.
Every time my grandmother came to my house, after leaving, my mother would make a video complaining about what my grandmother said, and then she was angry, and she was particularly emotional. My mom has a high blood pressure, so I often advise her not to get angry without moving. My grandmother talked unobstructedly, and sometimes people didn't know it, and my mother's personality was a little careful.
So the two of them got together and couldn't get along at all.
My mother and my grandmother's mother-in-law contradiction should be the epitome of many people in real life, although there are contradictions, but it will not completely tear the face, and even a lot of things that should be done usually have to be done. Because for most people, many things are not as simple as right and wrong and cause and effect, people still have morality, right and wrong and the most basic conscience, and when we measure a person, we should also have three-dimensional and objective ideas, rather than affirming or denying someone with something alone.
That is, the so-called family has a difficult scripture.
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