Raising children is the most basic responsibility of parents, but most parents today are at most "hanging parents", because in most families, the elderly are the main force with babies.
Without the help of the elderly at home, most young people may not have the courage to have children at all.
The mother was picked up by her brother and the man collapsed in tears
A few days ago, the topic of #Mother who lived with her brother for 7 years was picked up by her brother and 37-year-old man broke down in tears, causing many hot discussions.
The thing is, when the man learned that his mother, who had lived with him for 7 years, was about to be picked up by his brother, the reluctance spread instantly, and the more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable it was, and finally he couldn't help but cry bitterly.
I am reluctant to leave this is the great filial piety of people, but after learning the whole picture of the matter, netizens are not calm.
Because the mother did not simply live with the eldest son's family, but helped him bring a child for 7 years. Now that the sister-in-law has given birth to a child, she urgently needs to pick up her mother to help bring the baby.
The mother who is more than half a hundred years old is busier than the sought-after gold medal childcare sister-in-law, and has just "left the house" from the eldest son's home, and immediately has to rush to the younger son's home to "take the baton", becoming the most indispensable helper of the family.
For the vast majority of families, even if the child's father does not come home for a week, there will be no chaos in the family. But if the old man who helps bring the baby at home has a headache and brain fever, most of them will make the chicken fly and the dog jump, and the person will turn over on the horse.
The death of generational rearing
According to relevant statistics, 66.47% of the elderly in the country are helping their children take care of their children, and the elderly have long become the main force of the family with children.
Generational parenting has helped many families solve the problem of having a baby, but at the same time it has also become the fuse that frequently triggers family conflicts.
In the TV series "An Jia", there is such a suffocating scene:
Obstetrician and gynecologist Gong Beibei is a doctor with first-class professional ability in the hospital, but her profession is useless at home. Let the mother-in-law add complementary food to Xiaobao, the mother-in-law does not care, and said forcefully: "Breast milk is the most nutritious, and any complementary food is not comparable." ”
She said not to feed the child, and the child's grandfather retorted with great vigour: "If I don't feed him, I won't eat it, and this bit of meat on Huan Huan's body is fed out in this bite." ”
After a few rounds, Gong Beibei did not listen to what the old man said, but was choked up. The intolerable Gong Bei bei completely broke out and snatched the iPad from the child's hand, but also offended the whole family.
Gong Bei Bei is the child's mother and a professional doctor, but she has no say in how to raise and teach her children. She is not accustomed to the way the old man takes the child, but she cannot do without the full support of the old man, and can only strive to find a balance point in the cracks.
Gong Beibei's grievances are also the parenting reality of many families at present.
The reality of chinese family parenting
Young people are busy making money to support their families, have no extra time and energy to raise children themselves, and can only entrust the responsibility of caring for children to the elderly at home.
The hardships of the elderly with their babies are also seen by their children, but they are suffering from no better solution.
Because there is currently a shortage of childcare institutions for children under 3 years old in the mainland, letting the elderly help take care of them, asking nannies and fathers/mothers to resign has become the main way to solve the problem of infant and young child care.
The elderly help to bring the baby, and with the advantages of affordability, safety and worry-free, it has become the first choice for many families.
On the one hand, the elderly should be blessed at an age, but they have to take on the responsibility of taking care of their grandchildren and cannot live in peace in their old age; on the other hand, young parents should accompany and educate their children at an important stage, and they are powerless in their children's education.
But fortunately, now that the state has begun to vigorously develop inclusive childcare services, I believe that in the near future, the elderly will be liberated from the life of bringing grandchildren and enjoy their old age in peace. Children will also receive professional care to make up for the educational shortcomings caused by generations of parenting.
Taking children is like upgrading and fighting monsters, even if each level is difficult, but as long as we work hard, we can finally get the clearance cheats.
It's also a great experience to be able to participate in such a project once in a lifetime!