In the first year of a child's life, the issue of parenting is critical. Especially in the process of sleeping with him, parents should give children a sense of security.
The pictures in this article are all derived from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
Sleep needs for babies within 1 year of age
We all know that infants and young children sleep for a relatively long time, and the younger the age, the stronger the demand for sleep.
In general, babies under 3 months of age should sleep enough for 13 to 18 hours a day;
Babies under 4 to 11 months need to sleep for 12 to 16 hours a day;
For 1-year-old babies, the sleep duration will be slightly shortened, but it will also need to be maintained for about 11 hours.
In addition, children of this age have limited self-care ability and lack of security, so they need their parents to sleep with them.
Therefore, there is a saying that "children under the age of 1, who sleep with whom, the more intimate the relationship with in the future." "Is this really the case? Is there enough scientific basis behind it?
Who does the baby sleep with and kiss whom?
Experts believe that this statement still makes sense.
In the 19th century, the famous psychoanalyst René Spietz conducted a follow-up experiment that confirmed the importance of parents sleeping with their children in establishing a good attachment relationship between parents and children.
René Spietz tracked the baby with the nurse at the nursery. Because of some realities, the mothers of these babies cannot accompany the children for a long time, so the first three months of the baby's birth are taken care of by nurses.
One might argue that nurses in nursery have better parenting styles and that caring for children may be more advantageous, but studies have found that emotional gratification is more important for children's future development than scientific parenting.
These babies, who had left their mother's arms, were at first happy to play with the nurses, but after a short week, the children's moods changed suddenly: they could feel that they were beginning to feel anxious, frightened, and unresponsive.
Experts believe that this may be because the nurses work more every day, so they can't give their babies enough care and care like the children's parents, and they can always take care of them in terms of food, clothing, shelter and transportation, so it is difficult to establish an attachment relationship.
Through the previous explanation, we can also see that for babies within one year old, sleep needs needs to be met, when they sleep, they are accustomed to relying on the mother's arms, will smell the smell of the mother's body to sleep, and even grasp the mother's hair with their hands, in order to feel a sense of security and enter the sweet dreamland.
If the mother often sleeps with the child, this intimate interaction is a little more, which helps to establish a good attachment relationship, and the parent-child relationship is naturally more intimate.
Don't miss your child's "attachment period"
There has also been a mention of the "attachment period" before.
It is an indispensable psychological state in the parent-child relationship, often penetrating from all aspects of life, related to the future direction of parent-child.
Maternal and infant scholars believe that the baby's attachment to the mother is innate, and generally can slowly determine the object of dependence at about 3 months, but at this time they are aimless attachment, so they will show stronger dependence on the nurturer who often takes care of themselves.
Especially when the nurturer often has physical contact with the baby and emotional interaction, the baby's emotional attachment to the child will be stronger.
The famous psychologist Ballby once made a point of view: "Missing the period when the child establishes attachment to the object, if it is postponed to 2 and a half years old, even the best mother's support is useless." ”
If the mother misses this best time and lacks contact with the baby, then the relationship between mother and child will naturally be affected, even if you have a child, but for them, it is not as good as the grace of parenting, and it is useless to try hard afterwards, because the child has established his main dependence.
In summary, experts suggest: Mothers, we should pay attention to the first year of the child's birth, accompany the child more in food, clothing, housing and transportation, give him full care, let him feel the preciousness of family affection, so that your future parent-child relationship will be more solid.
Even if the future children grow up and have more personal space, they still have your place in their hearts.
What should parents do?
1. Do not force children to sleep in separate beds or rooms
There have been many statements circulating on the Internet about sleeping separately with children, but some of the practices are more extreme, and there is no plan for the actual situation of the child to develop a bed-sharing plan, and it is directly forced to separate from the baby.
Some even sleep separately when the child is still very young, which often leads to the lack of safety of the child, and the parent's cold and strong attitude will also lay hidden dangers for the future parent-child relationship.
Suggestion: When parents and children sleep in separate beds/rooms, they should pay attention to the ways and methods, step by step, you can discuss with your children in advance, give them a little psychological cushion, and a few days ago you can accompany her before going to bed to tell some small stories to help sleep.
2. Don't threaten your child at every turn
For example, "I don't love you if you don't obey anymore", "If you don't obey again, your parents will leave you, these threatening words, it seems to play a certain deterrent effect, in fact, it is easy to bring shadows to the child's heart.