Watching "Dear Child", I was very angry, not angry at Xiao Lu's approach, but angry with the screenwriter. As a married and childless mother, I think this drama is a bit excessive. The play exaggerates the contradictions and conflicts, and uses various realistic methods to mislead the audience, so that many unmarried and childless people have fear in their hearts and are afraid to enter marriage.
In the play, the problem of Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu, we can't say that it doesn't exist at all, but I want to say that most couples can basically cross this hurdle. Xiao Lu is not "scum", and the main problem of this marriage is not in him.
1, anxious mother is the key factor
The TV series has created an anxious mother for us at the beginning. Because of pregnancy, eating badly and sleeping badly, the body is deformed, and the face is covered with spots. She wanted to eat noodles, her husband packed a copy for her, she saw that there was no pepper instantly lost her appetite, everyone remembered the scene of Xiao Lu eating noodles in the camera, and then sprinkled the gas on Xiao Lu, saying that he did not have the heart to accompany his wife to share happiness and suffering.
Turning his head, Yinuo wanted to eat fruit and said that he wanted to eat three apples, but Xiao Lu cut the apples, but Yinuo fell asleep. This one shot already says a lot. First of all, Xiao Lu has to take good care of Yinuo, Yinuo wants to eat noodles he goes to buy, he wants to eat apples he goes to cut, he does not shirk his responsibility, he is trying his best to do a good job as a husband. Secondly, eating noodles and cutting apples can be seen that Yinuo is a bit "picky".
Then, it was Yinuo who gave birth to a child. Everyone complained that Xiao Lu did not accompany Yinuo, but drank at home. In fact, this is also a foreshadowing, which just shows that he wants to catch his breath. Yinuo is pregnant at home, and he should never have had an easy time coming back from work.
After giving birth to a child, Fang Yinuo was really a bit excessive. First, she pulled her pants herself and didn't want her husband to clean up, didn't want her husband to hug her if she didn't take a bath, and wanted to maintain her perfect image in front of her husband, so let me say that it was completely unnecessary. Your "baggage" in front of your husband is too heavy, which will only make you feel inferiority in your heart. And this is a key factor affecting your couple's life.
Second, excessive anxiety. One will suspect that the sister-in-law hurts the child, one will suspect that the sister-in-law feeds the child milk powder, and one will also suspect that the sister-in-law will rest after coaxing the baby to sleep, to be honest, I am the sister-in-law of the month and I will not wait.
We do not deny the appearance of bad sisters-in-law, but sometimes we do not need to worry too much about breast milk, jaundice and other issues. Whenever I see Ichinozuki staring at her like a neurotic and not sleeping, I feel that there is something wrong with her heart. Every time she was anxious in her heart, she would inevitably pull Xiao Lu up to chat with her, and then the two of them quarreled, and finally none of them slept well, and they were even more anxious.
It's a vicious circle.
Third, there are too many demands. The mother-in-law is a bit unreliable, smoking, playing mahjong, but Yinuo's requirements are too much. Let the mother-in-law record the child's diet, wash clothes and use so many basins, which will break down. What's more, although the mother-in-law is unreliable, she is diligent, what you say is what it is, and her temper is quite OK. We can't just look at the disadvantages and not look at the advantages.
In short, most of the contradictions in the month are because Yinuo is too anxious. If she can alleviate her anxiety, whether it is a husband and wife, or a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the contradictions can be reduced a lot.
2. Fang Yinuo's mother deepened the marital contradictions
First of all, I would like to advise everyone that it is best not to let your mother serve you, especially a mother like Fang Yinuo. She will only provoke trouble and deepen the contradictions between husband and wife.
Yinuo saw that her daughter was not resting well in confinement, and she was distressed, and she saw that her mother-in-law was unreliable, so she retired early to help her daughter take care of her children, which was understandable. But we see that Xiao Lu's mother does not leave, Fang Yinuo's mother insists on living in, the small room has become a woman's world, and the home has become Xiao Lu's "Shuluo Field".
The play makes this point very realistic. Yinuo and his mother muttered together, treating their mother-in-law as a nanny, and would not even let the child touch it. To be honest, the mother-in-law is already quite good at this point, at least not because she is treated differently, and always persuades herself to "just see her granddaughter."
But This is not the case with Yinuo's mother. The mother always sees Xiao Lu's badness, and encourages her daughter vigorously, one will say "I am not angry with your husband", and the other will say "look good at your husband". In short, her eyes were full of Xiao Lu's badness, and she told Yinuo all about this badness, so that Yinuo's heart was full of prejudice.
Don't overestimate human nature, there is a story in the "History of The Biography of Ganmaolie": a disciple of Confucius Zengsan with the same name killed someone, so someone told Zengshan's mother: 'Zengshan killed someone!' Zeng's mother woven the cloth calmly. After a while, another person told Zengsan's mother: 'Zengshan killed someone!' Zeng's mother woven the cloth with suspicion and self-determination, and after a while, the third person ran up to him and said, "ZengShan killed someone!" Zeng's mother dropped the machine, climbed over the courtyard wall and ran.
As a mother who believes in her son so much, let alone a promise? Even if Yinuo said that he was fine, he still planted the seed of doubt in his heart.
3, children, is not a disaster of marriage
I think "Dear Little Kids" magnifies too many children's problems, as if children are the "killer" of marital problems.
From Yinuo's point of view, with a child, she no longer has a place for Xiao Lu in her heart. One night, she easily coaxed the child to sleep, so she sent a message to Xiao Lu: when she came back, she tapped and was woken up by the child. Xiao Lu, who had already arrived home, heard this voice and slept in the car for one night. The next day, he also took his daughter to get a vaccination, and he was complained about again.
From Xiao Lu' point of view, with children, home has become a place to be feared. He was afraid of his children crying, but he was more afraid of family quarrels. He casually said that "crying can increase lung capacity", but his wife said that he did not feel sorry for the child, and he remembered it for several days. Under such circumstances, does he dare to say one more word?
The accumulation of small problems like this naturally becomes a big problem in marriage.
However, children are not a disaster for marriage, and not all couples who have children will be as invincible as Yinuo and Xiaolu. If they can understand each other, think for each other from each other's point of view, and have less accusations and more understanding, they will certainly be able to survive.
After surviving this paragraph, you will find that the relationship between the two will be better.
Remember, children are not disasters, but bonds of love.