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Li Xin, 35 years old, corporate finance
My husband and I are both married twice.
As a halfway couple, restructuring the family, the reason for the end of our last marriage is the same:
There was no talk about whether to have children or not, so they divorced each other.
I didn't ask my husband what it was because I didn't want to have children, I respected his privacy.
We divorced for about the same time and later met at work.
After exchanging contact information, occasionally chatting about things outside of work, I found that we still have a common language.
The attitude toward the question of whether or not to have children is the most important reason for us to attract each other.
In fact, you don't look at the current society is different from before, the atmosphere is also open and inclusive, but in fact, most people still have a different vision of the fact that there are no children.
Because of this incident, I ended my last marriage, and I also had bad relations with my parents, and I rarely had contact.
My parents couldn't understand my ideas and didn't respect my ideas.
They just think that as their daughter, I am divorced, have no children, and I don't plan to have children, which is a great shame.
But I really don't want to live for others, everyone only has one chance to live, why use my life to achieve other people's wishes?
What about my own wishes, my own life?
When I was divorced a few years ago, my father said to me viciously:
"You won't have anyone to ask for it in the future."
In fact, I am not sad to hear this sentence, because I am no longer the woman who has a lifelong goal of "someone wants".
I have a job myself, have a skill, earn a few thousand dollars in wages, and have no problem supporting myself.
I don't ask for someone to have it, and I don't need someone else to raise it.
No one loves me, it doesn't matter, I love myself enough, I want to live this life with my own heart.
Later, I met my current husband, and we came together as like-minded people.
With him by his side for the rest of my life, I am happy.
Jin Yang, 30 years old, entrepreneur
Someone said:
"What single, Dink, says grandiose, is actually selfish!"
In the past, when I heard such remarks, I would argue and explain to prove that my choices were not selfish.
And now, I don't bother to explain.
Different Taos do not conspire with each other, it is difficult to change people's three views, and for others, to be different from him is wrong.
So what's the explanation?
Now someone asks me why Dink, and I say:
"I'm selfish, I don't want to take on too much responsibility and pressure."
When you have a certain social experience you will understand:
Most of the time, reasoning is useless and no one listens.
It is better to put it down, everyone saves effort together, if you are not used to it, it is better to be old and dead and not to interact with each other.
A real question before us, the Dinks, is:
What to do when you are old?
To tell the truth, in fact, no one knows what it will be like when you get old, after all, you are only thirty years old now, and who knows what tomorrow will happen.
Instead of thinking about the time when it is so far away, it is better to live the present and make more money.
There's a quote in Walden that I love:
"I don't want to plan ahead, I just want to live from 5 to 6."
Some people say: If everyone thinks like you, then humanity will be extinct!
Every time I see this I want to laugh:
Who are you? In a lifetime, I can't even mix with a village chief, and I am still concerned about the fate of mankind here.
Besides, in this world, there are still the majority of children, so there is no need to put the pot of human extinction on us Dink.
I love to have children for many children, and my future pension will have to be paid from the social security paid by your children.
Chen Rui, 49, CEO of an Internet company
I'm 49 and my boyfriend is 32.
I had a marriage that lasted less than two years and ended up cheating on my ex-husband.
I was 31 years old at the time, and because my ex-husband was at fault, he got out of the house and before he left he told me that the woman outside was 6 months pregnant.
My ex-husband said that I was too strong in all aspects and had to decide everything myself.
And the girl listened to him everything, and was willing to get pregnant and have children for him without any marital relationship.
He felt that such a woman was more worthy of his protection than I was.
I think it's ridiculous:
I came out of society at the age of 18 and started three companies from scratch.
When we got married, I didn't ask him for a penny, I didn't even buy a ring;
Whether in love or marriage, he eats me and drinks me, lives in the house I bought, and drives the car I bought.
In the end, I became a "strong woman", is it better to be "worth protecting" than other women?
After this marriage, I lost hope in human nature.
What I have is money, and in recent years I have no drag on my family and children, and my career is getting bigger and bigger.
I bought a villa in the city center, and the company was run by a professional manager, and I went wherever I wanted.
I met my current boyfriend last year, and he's a post-90s guy.
His philosophy is not to marry, not to have children, and to insist on living for himself for the rest of his life.
If you can find someone you really love, you will be together for a lifetime, and if you can't find it, you will live well.
The kind of firmness in him attracted me.
In a way, the two of us are a kind of person.
I don't think about marriage and having kids anymore, and so does he.
If I had put it twenty years ago, I might have felt that a person like him didn't want to take responsibility? Make excuses.
And now, when I can take responsibility for myself, I understand:
Most women's so-called hope that men "take responsibility" is still essentially to cling to men.
Isn't it because you can't find a good job on your own and can't survive that you have to let men "take responsibility"?
I don't need attachment, I'm strong and rich enough myself, I'm responsible for myself, enjoy love, enjoy the moment, that's enough.
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Do you think the "Dinks" will be miserable when they get old?
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