Wen | Morning Dawn Orange
Is the marriage of a low-married woman sweet and happy, or is it bitter?
I think Feng Xiaoqin has the most say in this issue.
When she married Gu Lei, she was in her early twenties, unmarried and pregnant, and married Gu Lei, which was to take a fancy to his honest duty and Shanghai hukou.
Feng Xiaoqin wants a Shanghai hukou, she is eager to get rid of the shackles of rural life, looking forward to having a city hukou and nirvana rebirth.
But the reality is that if there is a loss, there is gain: a woman who marries low because of the hukou, even if she has a city hukou and becomes a city person, but the deep-rooted, seemingly exclusive atmosphere of the in-laws' family is still very hurtful.
For example, in Feng Xiaoqin's home, she ran away in anger because the Gu family carried her behind her back and "joined forces to calculate her", and she wanted to go back to her mother's house to live, and gu Lei was coaxed and coaxed, kneeling down to beg for forgiveness, before considering forgiving him.
However, unexpectedly, when Gu Lei chased out, he stepped on the glass in front of the neighbor's house and fell to his death.
Then this apology can never wait...
Marriage of a low-married woman
Feng Xiaoqin is from Anhui, and when she married Gu Lei, she was only in her early twenties, a fresh girl.
The article also has this conclusion about Feng Gu's marriage:
It is not talking about white phases, from the beginning it was for the purpose of marriage, the male age is not small, and the female is running to the Shanghai hukou.
This seems to be a natural thing that happens naturally in a real marriage, there is no love, there is just reality.
Therefore, Feng Xiaoqin's life is always hard and uneventful, working in the morning, serving her father-in-law and grandmother, cooking and laundry, cleaning up the housework, picking up and dropping off children, accompanying her son Xiaohu to learn various skills, and so on.
Life is simple and somewhat monotonous.
Just except for the quarrels.
The four generations are like this, and the bumps and bumps between husband and wife in life, quarrels and quarrels, will also make the elders worry.
Carrying Feng Xiaoqin on his back, the remaining three members of the Gu family— Gu Shihong, Gu Qingyu, and Gu Lei—sat around the bedside to discuss the dispute between Feng Xiaoqin and Gu Lei.
And it was the discussion of this dispute that made Feng Xiaoqin have the anger of being "calculated", and she closed the door with the sound of "boo-" with her luggage, that is, this pass, so that Gu Lei finally died.
Feng Xiaoqin has not dealt with Sister Gu Qingyu, the two rarely talk, and there is no deep friendship, until this time the conspiracy, so that Feng Xiaoqin's dislike of Sister Gu Qingyu reached its peak.
Gu Qingyu said to his younger brother Gu Lei:
"Shops don't buy, just say buy education fund insurance for the little tiger." I'll send you the information tomorrow. Buy insurance for the child, she has nothing to say. And the house you live in now, no matter what she says or for whatever reason, you can't sell it or add her name. The family deposit is still left to her, but the number you have to be clear, you can't be confused. ”
……
"I heard that her brother is also coming to Shanghai?" Gu Qingyu asked.
"She will probably take this reason and let you buy a house again and move out for a single time." Think clearly for yourself: first, whether you are willing to go alone; second, whether it is realistic to buy a house again; third, if you buy a house, there is not enough money, what will you plan. Anyway, I still mean this, buy or not buy a house at will, the premise is that the suite I live in now cannot be moved, and the small house in Huangpu District that Dad used to be divided into schools cannot be moved. Of course, adjust the position, two or three hundred thousand, I can lend it to you, no problem. You remember, don't talk about yourself, it's me and my father, and I also hope that you will grow old with her, after all, the children are so old. Our aim is not to harm anyone, but also to prevent her from thinking anything. There are too many such examples. Count in your own heart. ”
Feng Xiaoqin has always felt that this sister of her husband is too powerful, and she has rarely taken the initiative to deal with her, but she did not think that this sister was behind her back and "calculated" herself, which was really disgusting!
Her anger, like a fountain gushing out, why is she tired and tired to serve the family, take care of the elderly to eat and live, to be treated like this, the family is xenophobic, this is not bullying her a woman?
Such a calculation really hurt Feng Xiaoqin's heart, so that she did not think about Gu Lei's lame leg and strode away with her luggage.
villain? Good!
In fact, as far as I watch the original work of "Anju", Feng Xiaoqin is not a dough that is kneaded by others, she is a very shrewd person.
Moreover, her feelings with Gu Lei, as Gu Lei himself said:
"To tell the truth," Gu Lei swallowed his spit, blew his nose again, and was a little frustrated, "--there is no confidence." She was so much younger than me, beautiful, and brainy. If there were no children, she would not be able to keep her. Now there are little tigers, probably," he thought again, "half and half." ”
Gu Lei has no confidence in herself: she has the ability to have a heart, she was going to live a better life, why should she be dragged down by an incompetent person, sometimes, Gu Lei herself wants to let go of this marriage.
However, they continued the marriage for various reasons. Originally it was not love, and after a long time, it was only the "friendship" of the partner, and when it was really dangerous, it could only wait for the "big disaster to fly separately".
However, This point Gu Lei did not see clearly, Gu Qingyu also looked too heavy, he thought he was the kind of woman who was casual and even cheating, she thought she was the kind of woman who drilled and calculated, without the slightest bottom line.
In fact, the dead Mrs. Zhang saw the people clearly, and she said to Feng Xiaoqin:
"Sister, you're a good person."
She was a good person with a conscience, and for the sake of the diary left by Mrs. Zhang, she rushed into the sea of fire regardless of life and death, and she said to Zhan Xiang:
"The old lady has less than two months left, and some words, which she may not be able to say when she is alive, are written on paper. Burned, there is no more. Notepad was her soul. ”
In order to provide accommodation for the disabled Lao Huang, she posted money to provide him with care, and she told Gu Xin, who came to negotiate:
"You are right, I came to Shanghai to live a good life, but if my conscience can't go through, how can my life be better?" Don't say things like 'compare your heart to your heart', what I think in my heart is different from yours. If I were you, I wouldn't have taken this errand anyway. Hurt the yin. ”
It can be seen that all these things prove that Feng Xiaoqin is not a person who has lost her conscience with a lustful heart, and although she is shrewd, she still has a bottom line.
However, why is it that in the eyes of the Gu family, under the service of Feng Xiaoqin for many years, they still feel that she is "for profit"?
"Calculation"
In Feng Xiaoqin's eyes, the Gu family is the one who joins forces to calculate her, while in the eyes of the Gu family, Feng Xiaoqin is the one who wants to calculate them, and the two positions and two conclusions, no matter which one, are valid.
But what ultimately went wrong with these two ideas, which are so vastly divergent? standpoint!
And Feng Xiaoqin, the reason why she was misunderstood was the reason for calculating the family's real estate, in the final analysis, it was still in this marriage, the reason for the initial union, was for profit, as well as the world's high and low.
For profit
First of all, at the beginning of the marriage, Feng Xiaoqin gave the Gu family an attitude of marriage, and she married Gu Lei for the sake of profit.
Gu Lei has no great ability, there is a little leg disease, and she is many years older, so the only reason for the combination of two people with full differences is not love, but interests, so naturally, in the eyes of the Gu family, Feng Xiaoqin is a person who seeks profits.
Therefore, even if she is tired and tired for the sake of the Gu family, as long as she does not love Gu Lei, she is for the sake of profit and even if she stays in this marriage, it can be seen that such a deep-rooted thought is the most harmful.
And even if Feng Xiaoqin is willing to live a good life with Gu Lei, as long as Gu Lei can't grasp Feng Xiaoqin in her heart, her first impression of Profit will occupy an irrevocable position in Gu Lei's heart, and he will be inferior, afraid, and more suspicious.
This also proves that Gu Lei lacks a sense of security in this marriage.
Climb high and climb low
Feng Xiaoqin is the so-called "high climb" in this marriage.
She came from a rural area, did not have a city hukou, and was able to settle down in Shanghai, or entrusted herself to marry Gu Lei, so that later she wanted her younger siblings to come to Shanghai to live, but also to take care of her family's face.
The Gu family was afraid that she would calculate them for the sake of her own family, and Feng Xiaoqin just hated this kind of suspicion, her grievances and bitterness came from her high climb, she was a low-married woman.
In addition to the marriage nourished by love, most of the time it is chicken feathers, tatters, and lives together.
And Feng Xiaoqin, the reason why she had to be wronged by the suspicion of the in-laws was not that she climbed them high, in their hearts, she was already inferior.
However, if in a marriage, two people are evenly matched, each has its own ability, supports each other, but is independent of each other, then even if you make a lot of trouble, there are accusations and accusations, because you have the ability and do not rely on anyone, so even if you are wronged, you can find the field.
But the women who climb high cannot point out their grievances straightly, because psychologically, in reality, she relies on this man to survive, and she cannot blame the "boss" who feeds her, naturally, she has no courage to accuse them of injustice.
Isn't this the case with Feng Xiaoqin? When she needed to rely on this man, the misunderstandings of the man's entire family could not be justified and bluntly accused, because she was weak and humble.
At any time, the man will not have too many misunderstandings about the powerful woman, because she is strong, she is independent and autonomous, no one can easily control her, then, she has great freedom to realize herself.
Even if you make a big fuss with your husband, you can easily get out of the next relationship, which shows how much freedom and initiative a strong woman has!
And Feng Xiaoqin, in addition to thinking about all kinds of tricks and careful thoughts, such as making a fuss, making a fuss, and fiercely making her husband submit, always considering the pros and cons, used to trap Gu Lei's heart, in fact, she is fundamentally weak.
Therefore, she did not have so much ability and courage to end the marriage easily.
Of course, divorce as long as there is a problem is by no means the way to solve the problem, but in marriage, maintaining the need for independence and strength is always a woman's trump card in marriage, easy not to use, but it has a miraculous effect.
In short, Feng Xiaoqin in order to get the Shanghai hukou, the practice of marriage, is always the next strategy, although it is the simplest and most direct way, but after marriage, no less than when fighting alone, fortunately Feng Xiaoqin is a clever person, but also met a good family, otherwise, after marriage, a chicken feather life, after all, people collapse, ten years old!
Just like Sister Kadibika, she said in an interview:
Women, who can be relied on, will always only be themselves!
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