"Only know how to pity the child, not willing to use the child", this is the misunderstanding of today's parents' love.
In fact, to love children, you must be willing to use children. A person can feel his worth when he is needed and paid for others.
When a child is used and needed by adults, he can feel how great his young life is, and then feel a deep love and a strong sense of responsibility.
Some parents raise their sons as "pets", do everything for their children, and never let their sons do something for themselves. In fact, the mother's affirmation of her son can best stimulate the potential of boys. In order to surprise the mother, the son can create miracles, and this motivation can make a weak boy grow into a brave man.
So, how should parents use their children?
01. Brew tea and stir-fry.
There is a boy's mother who often says this to her son since she was a child: "With you, it is different." ”
When my son was 3 years old, once I held him and squeezed the bus, but unexpectedly, my legs were soft, I did not squeeze into the car, and almost fell on the side of the road. My son immediately asked me with concern, "Mom, what's wrong with you?" ”
I seriously said to my son, "Mom can't get in the car with you in her arms." ”
As soon as my son heard this, he immediately jumped to the ground and beat my legs with his small hands. I stroked his head and said happily, "With you, it's just different!" ”
My son was very proud and never let me hold it again, and often beat my legs for me.
In the middle of the summer when my son was in the second grade of elementary school, one day when I came back from work, my son rushed to bring a cup of tea: "Mom, you drink tea!" I poured it for you. ”
The tea is already cold, I have a bad stomach, I don't like to drink herbal tea, but I still drink it all, and then contentedly say: "With you, it's not the same!" It would have been nice if the tea had been a little hotter! ”
The next day, I "enjoyed" a cup of hot tea that my son poured.
When my son was in the fourth grade, one day his father was going on a business trip, and my son was happy, but I was embarrassed to say to him: "You are happy, I am miserable, and I have to rush home to cook for you after work." ”
Who knows, the son patted his chest and said mysteriously: "Dad is not here, and I am!" ”
Looking at him like that, I seemed to have "dependence" and immediately "suddenly realized": "Yes! Right! And you, you're a man too! ”
To my surprise, the next day, after school, he came home early, fried two plates, put them on a plate, and covered them with a bowl. As soon as I got home, my son immediately said, "Mom, go wash your hands, I'll give you food!" ”
I was particularly "obedient", washed my hands, and sat down at the dinner table. My son brought in the rice, and I took a big bite to eat.
The son watched from the sidelines and asked in the tone of a TV commercial, "How does it taste?" ”
"It tastes great!" I also used "slogan".
"How about comparing it to my dad's cooking?"
"Much better than your dad's stir-fried dish!" I said exaggeratedly.
In fact, his craftsmanship is far worse than his father's, and he is still a little unfamiliar! But a few years later, my son was a good cook.
How eager the son is to be needed by his mother, to be affirmed by his mother.
The greatness of a mother is not whether she can let her son go to college and study abroad, but in letting her son have a sense of accomplishment, find self-confidence, find self, and find the needs of his parents and society for him!
When he found what his parents and society needed for him, he found a responsibility, a happiness.
Parents who truly love their children should be weaker in front of their sons and give their children a little chance to love others.
Don't always see yourself as a mountain, see your child as a small grass, let the child lean on you, look up at you, and fear you; don't be a big umbrella, see the child as a chicken, shield the child from the wind and rain, and let the child be weak and can't help the wind.
02. The five elements of crowding the bus.
If you want to cultivate your children into people who can adapt to the future society, you must "stock", not "captive", and be willing to let go.
In particular, it is necessary to cultivate boys' strong and resolute manhood, give them a free and independent space from an early age, and provide opportunities to exercise, practice and show their skills.
The journey to and from school every day is a perfect opportunity to cultivate a child's tough and hard-working temperament.
Allowing children to exercise themselves to and from school can make him find a lot of fun on the road, and can also increase the knowledge that many textbooks cannot learn.
When my son was in elementary school, his home was far from school and it took more than an hour to get a car on the road. From the third grade, my son began to squeeze the bus to and from school by himself.
One day, he mysteriously said to me, "Mom, I found that there is philosophy everywhere in life." Let's talk about squeezing the bus, there are five major elements. ”
I was intrigued: "When did my son become a philosopher?" Squeeze the car also squeeze out the experience! Speaking of which, I listen! ”
The son spoke with great interest about the "five elements" he summarized:
"First, when waiting for the car, don't always stretch your head to look in the direction of the car, that way, how sore your neck is!" Just use your afterglow to look at the people next to you, as soon as the crowd moves, it is the car coming! ”
"Makes sense! What about the second biggest element? I listened with great interest and teased him.
"Second, the car is coming, you don't want to follow the crowd. All you have to do is stick to the car and grab the handlebars and you're good to go! Third, if there are many people in the car without seats, you will stand behind the driver's seat, which is more spacious. ”
"Your eyes are still quite sharp!" What else? "I can't wait to hear it down.
"Listen to me slowly: Fourth, although the driver's seat is spacious, it is far from the armrest of the seat, and your hands should be open and placed on the glass of the window so that you can stand firmly;
Fifth, when you are standing, your feet should be separated, so that you have a foothold of two feet. ”
After listening to these "five elements", I laughed so much that tears came out. I thought, without squeezing the bus, how can he sum up so many "elements"?
After my son went to middle school, he rode to school every day for six years, wind and rain, no matter the wind and the sun, never cried bitter, I admired him from the heart.
03. It is better to give your child a pair of designer shoes than to give him a pair of feet that can walk.
After graduating from university, he took the initiative to ask to work in Shanghai, saying that he should feel the atmosphere of a modern big city so that he could connect with international standards. On the day of departure, I was going to go to the airport to pick him up, but he wouldn't let me: "No need to send it, I can go by myself!" ”
He took a taxi himself, smiled at me before getting into the car, waved his hand, and said in the tone of a kindergarten kid, "Goodbye Mommy!" ”
I just waved my hand and said "Goodbye!" "I can't beg to go with him!" Looking at my son's long journey, I felt a hundred reassurances in my heart, and I knew that he was ok.
The process of my son's growth made me understand: what the child can do on his own, let him do it himself, don't do it for him. Doing what they can for a child is the biggest blow to his enthusiasm;
Because this will make them lose the opportunity to practice, you are not at ease, and you have to intervene in everything, which is equivalent to telling him: "You can't do it, I don't believe you." ”
From a young age, let the child try, to experience, to exercise, the child has the ability to survive, has the ability to resist risks, when he goes far away and flies, you only have joy in your heart and no worries. All were of great help!
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