Author | Super Mom
Read a sentence:
"Every child has the potential to become an excellent person, and it is the different daily education of parents that gives children a different life."
Family education determines the child's life, many times, the problems of the child after adulthood, the root cause is in the family education, the child's future success, but also inseparable from the foundation of family education.
Good family education is not to read the textbook, not to blindly listen to the words of the so-called experts, not to blindly learn from the experience of successful people, but to know how to teach according to their aptitudes.
Every child has its own characteristics, but on the road to growth, it must go through these three stages:
Strong dependence on the stage, the stage of ability formation, the stage of self-awareness.
According to the characteristics and needs of children in these three stages, parents should also adjust their education methods accordingly.
Phase I
Good education is inseparable from the company of intentions
0 to 6 years old is the golden age for parents to accompany and educate their children.
During this period, parents are omnipotent gods in the minds of their children, who can be trusted, can be relied upon, and can entrust everything.
Before the child is 6 years old, it is also the most rapid period of psychological development, which is the key period for the development of children's personality.
In this period, the values transmitted by parents to their children have the most profound and direct impact, and at this time, parents give their children education, and children will accept unconditionally and can get feedback quickly.
At the same time, this stage is also an important stage in the formation of children's sense of security.
The two gifts that everyone needs most from childhood are a sense of security and the importance of affirming themselves.
In short, it is the need to be loved and loved.
Psychologist David Elkind said:
What children need to know most is that they are important to their parents and will always be surrounded by love.
Only a mentally healthy child can truly become a happy and happy person, an insecure child, he will always be surrounded by inferiority.
The influence of parents on their children is not how much money they earn, how many things they buy for their children, but only how much they accompany them in the early stages of their lives.
In every moment we spend with our children, there is a hidden future.
Phase II
A good education knows how to achieve children
6 to 12 years old is an important period for parents to cultivate their children's abilities and qualities.
Parents' attitude towards education determines the height of the child's future, and the height of parents' cognition directly determines the child's cognition, and almost determines the second half of his life and affects the second half of his life.
Education is not laissez-faire, let alone everything, but like a coach, guide children to master their own abilities, encourage children to become better themselves, and become children's spiritual and spiritual leaders.
Parents in this period can not be afraid of trouble, afraid of once, the child's learning opportunities will be less than once, and they need to have sufficient patience to cultivate their children.
From every small detail in life to develop children's good habits, with an inclusive attitude to allow children to try and make mistakes, let children grow from mistakes, and plant the seeds of rules for children before the rebellious period comes.
The most important thing is to cultivate the child's independence, and every visionary parent should understand that independence is the skill that accompanies the child's life.
The best coach is never to let the child be separated from himself, but before the child leaves himself, let the child master enough ability, let the child have enough confidence, to embark on that lonely journey.
Phase III
A good education can respect children
12 to 18 years old is the stage of children's self-awareness awakening, but also the stage when children begin to overthrow the authority of their parents and are eager to break free from all shackles.
Children at this stage have a strong sense of territory and are eager to keep a distance from their parents to prove that they have grown up.
Parental discipline and too much advice will cause the child's rebellious psychology and trigger parent-child conflict, just like the saying:
"Educating children needs a kind of strength, to conform to the child's feelings and rhythms, the wrong direction and way of education, the child will knock you away."
What children need at this time is to be respected like any adult, to be seen as "one person" rather than as "little children".
The so-called respect for children does not mean that not scolding is respect, but when the opinions of parents and children conflict, parents can seriously understand and understand the children's feelings and needs.
As long as it is not a matter of right and wrong, parents should give their children as much autonomy as possible and respect their children's choices, even if you know that this choice will lead the child to a more tortuous path.
What you have to do is not to stop, but to remind, is to wait, is to bottom, because on the road to growth, children always have to take some detours, touch the south wall, will really grow.
Good family education can not only give the child a meticulous love and security when he is a child, patiently cultivate the child in the process of growth, but also in the process of the child's gradual growth, give up in time and let the child go by himself.
Children are growing, parents must also grow, inappropriate education methods, will only become the child's shackles, education that conforms to the child's growth, is the child's greatest blessing.
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