The preferred article of the Jane Book is recommended for article 667
The author of the jane book is | Wanxi
Want to talk about full-time housewives.
Because I saw an interview about Zhang Guimei, the female principal of Huaping University.
In that video, there is a girl who is a full-time wife after graduating from college. She was a former student of Principal Zhang, taking her husband and children to her alma mater to donate money, but the teacher was furious and even directly told her to "get out"...
In this regard, Zhang Guimei said: "The family is so difficult that we have provided you until now, and now you are a full-time wife?!" ”
01
Some people say that Zhang Guimei is too extreme, but I heard anxiety from her words. And this anxiety has stimulated her sadness and anger, that is, the legendary "mourning its misfortune, anger is indisputable."
She mentioned many of the hidden dangers of being a full-time housewife.
For example, they do not have a common language with their husbands and cannot advise their careers. Over time, they will be disconnected from society and become obsolete people.
This means that the efforts of Zhang Guimei and Huaping Women's High School have been in vain.
It also means that a woman puts herself at high risk, or even a reversal of fate.
For Zhang Guimei, who is committed to changing the fate of rural girls, this is the most undesirable and unacceptable scene.
She worked hard to win the opportunity for girls from poor families to study and be educated, the purpose is to let them change their fate by relying on knowledge, no longer repeat the fate of marrying and having babies, trapped in the family because of gender, trapped in the mountains for a lifetime.
That's why she's upset about the students who are full-time wives.
Among them, it reflects the plight of full-time housewives, as well as the prejudice and even discrimination against them from all walks of life.
Because in today's China, no one will see "full-time housewives" as a profession, more often than "you are idle at home, you are not doing anything". In other words, the work of a full-time housewife is not seen, its value is not recognized, and her busy work is tantamount to doing useless work, let alone dignity and professional pride.
Zhang Guimei's worries and even anger and frustration actually have their basis.
02
In fact, I have also been a full-time housewife.
It was five years ago, and Mr. Gao was running a small company with a fair income. Just when I was tired of going to work and commuting, I resigned with his connivance.
At that time, I was 25 years old, which was the golden age of a woman, and there were no children to drag. I thought I could be a beautiful, decent, elegant stay-at-home wife.
But the truth soon hit the face, not that the husband had an opinion, but a huge emptiness and loneliness. Even if I am highly educated, I think I have the ability to relieve my worries.
This is not an exaggeration, ordinary people's full-time housewives, while worrying about chai rice oil and salt, there are at least three aspects of the problem:
First, the repetitiveness of labor.
Daily grocery shopping, cooking, washing the floor, and taking care of children are all mechanical repetitive labors, and creation and transcendence are almost non-existent, not to mention development space and career breakthroughs.
Over time, enthusiasm and sense of accomplishment are greatly reduced.
Second, the closedness of life.
Most full-time housewives are fixed at home, between the market and the school, and the circle of interpersonal communication is constantly shrinking. In the end, only the joys and sorrows of the next family can be placed in the heart.
As soon as a woman's pattern and vision become smaller, her temperament is inevitably cramped, and the worldly and the city servant are naturally entangled.
Third, economic parasitism.
You can't buy what you want. Clothes or cosmetics, brushing men's cards, using men's money, and doing is reaching out. Therefore, they will deliberately reduce the frequency of shopping, and dare not ask for things that are too expensive.
Equality between husband and wife has been unconsciously broken, and the economic base determines the truth of the superstructure, which is universal.
Fourth, spiritual dependence.
The life of a full-time housewife depends on the security that marriage brings, and this security comes almost entirely from men.
As a result, all the focus and focus of a woman becomes a man. Dependence is wholehearted, and independence can no longer be discussed.
03
Still, I would say that being a full-time housewife after college doesn't mean it's wasteful.
Because the job of a full-time housewife is far undervalued.
Let's not talk about anything else, just take the example of taking care of children.
It is well known that human pups are not as viable as other mammals are born. He will not grow up on his own, he needs someone to feed, someone to teach him to talk, to teach him to walk, and then to teach him carefully, to instill in him the principles of doing things little by little.
The time, energy and wisdom that housewives spend on childcare are no less than women in the workplace.
She needs strong coordination, regulation and hard work to keep the family running normally.
This process is not isolated from the world, a good housewife, must be a combination of nutritionist, pretty kitchen lady, diplomat, nursery and other roles in one.
Raising an excellent child is the top priority of most family planning.
On a larger scale, it is even related to the long-term development of the country and the nation. Doesn't the saying go, "The hand that pushes the cradle is the hand that pushes the world."
From this point of view, a highly educated full-time housewife is a boon for children and families.
But unfortunately, full-time housewives are still seen as a kind of grievance and compromise, and the essence is more inclined to the fate of low-level women. In the eyes of the public, an intellectual woman throwing herself into the family is undoubtedly a huge waste of resources.
Even the value of a high-quality housewife is comparable to that of a high-end white-collar worker.
You see, the salaries of childcare sisters-in-law, cooks and domestic workers on the market are not low. But when these labors are borne by the wife, people will naturally ignore the value and take it for granted.
There is no financial reward, and there is no corresponding recognition and respect.
Therefore, women will talk about tiger discoloration, avoid "full-time housewives", and can't wait to use high heels and black and white gray suits to wrap up a layer of airtight self-esteem and self-improvement.
04
Chatting with a friend, she said this: "If the rights and interests of a full-time housewife can be legally protected, I am actually happy to do it." ”
It is undeniable that there are really some people in the world who can get happiness and satisfaction from the management of food, clothing, housing and transportation; there are indeed some women who are willing to run their families as careers.
The family is a whole, the husband and wife division of labor is different, in order to play their own strengths, to ensure that all aspects of the orderly operation, this is not a high or low distinction.
Unfortunately, both families and societies rarely recognize the labor and value of full-time housewives. Because the wealth they create is hidden, non-sentient people and lovers are invisible.
Unfortunately, there is no law that can effectively protect the vital interests of full-time housewives.
In today's era, the measure of value is relatively single, almost completely summarized by the word "money". Labor and effort that cannot be measured in terms of value in banknotes seem totally unworthy of mention.
The hidden danger of being a full-time housewife has also lurked because of this.
Therefore, being a full-time housewife after graduating from college is not a waste, but a very high risk. In the case of not being recognized or respected, it is natural to be cautious.
If the following conditions can be met, full-time housewives will be easier and more secure:
First, you truly love to take care of household chores, and can get happiness and satisfaction from them;
Second, your family understands and supports, and can sincerely cherish, appreciate and respect your labor;
Third, have a certain economic foundation, such as owning real estate paving, and living as usual without relying on wages;
Fourth, can learn, can self-discipline, not out of society, will not be trapped in a room.
Otherwise, try to earn money!
After all, economically independent women are more confident and more confident to face the various situations in marriage and the tribulations on the road of life.
But I also hope that one day, the value of "full-time housewives" can be recognized, redefined, and recognized and respected.
In fact, one of the most distinctive signs of social progress is respect for everyone's choices, whether she wants to be a professional woman or a housewife.
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