After being a full-time mother for three years, now that the baby has enrolled in school, he has returned to the workplace, has a new understanding in parenting, kindergarten, family, marriage, emotions, etc., and is still the mother who likes to share, hoping to share more topics that can collide with sparks and dry goods with babies...
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Grandparents, grandparents who are closer to the baby?
This is a boring question, but there are always people who keep reminding the child to do such a sequence.
Because of the epidemic, we have not been to the grandparents' house for a long time, last night when the video, the grandmother was chatting at the neighbor's house, the first thing she said after seeing the baby was: "Call you grandma, your grandma is the closest to you, how come you don't call your grandma!" ”
I don't know if it is unintentional, but listening to it must have a heart, my baby is currently brought by grandma, before grandma also brought, but because grandpa can't cook, grandma came for a few months, grandpa direct stomach ulcer.
Therefore, the neighbor's words are quite unleveloped, but there is always such a preference in life, and children are often easy to get caught.
They also say things like this when they are teasing the baby: You brought it with your grandmother for a few months, and you are not kissing your grandmother now, it is really a white-eyed wolf; your grandparents have given you so much money, and they are not close to your grandparents, it is really a white-eyed wolf.
Even my husband says this from time to time, sometimes the baby is focusing on playing games, he asks the baby to say hello to the grandparents, the baby is very irritable, refuses to say hello to the grandparents. He said the baby was a "white-eyed wolf."
After many reminders, I finally relented.
Speaking of this phenomenon, I believe that many parents have deep feelings, grandparents are the same person, but children are under the influence of adults, must be separated from near and far.
About this relationship, psychologists say so
This issue is not Chinese, it should be cosmopolitan.
Scientists have already come to conclusions on this issue in the last century.
After research and investigation, scholars have come to a conclusion: among these four people, the child is the closest to the grandmother, followed by the grandmother, and then the grandfather and grandfather.
All of them are such a conclusion, because Grandma and Grandpa are not often the people who stay by the child's side, and occasionally meet, Grandma and Grandpa also give children unlimited pampering, which is embodied in giving children snacks and pocket money, and is quite tolerant of children's behavior.
In this way, grandma has a natural advantage in front of the child, and grandma does not have an advantage. Grandpa and Grandpa did the same.
After a simple child is guided by a parent with a heart, there are more contradictions
For example, after Juanzi's baby Jiajia was born, she has always been a grandmother belt, Juanzi's mother lives with her sister and has been bringing children to her sister, and the two communities where the two families are located are 5 minutes walk.
Jiajia's grandmother is so strong and sensitive, but she is not as good as Juanzi's mother everywhere, and cooking and doing housework can not be compared to Jiajia's grandmother.
Jiajia's grandmother has a kind of resentment in her heart, because the people around her will always be a little compared.
Every time someone jokingly asked Jiajia whether she liked her grandmother or liked her grandmother, Jiajia's grandmother was very nervous.
She was afraid that Jiajia would say that she liked her grandmother, so that she would feel very faceless.
Therefore, after Jiajia's mother went to work, she always passed on a message to Jiajia: "Grandparents are the closest, and grandparents are outsiders." ”
If Jiajia rejects Grandma, it will make Grandma very happy.
Because of the epidemic, Jiajia did not go to her grandmother's house for nearly a month, after the epidemic improved, her grandmother took her brother to find Jiajia to play, let Jiajia go to dinner, Jiajia did not go, Grandma was happy in her heart, and said to the neighbors happily about this matter, saying that the person closest to Jiajia was Grandma.
There is also the title of grandpa, she also very much minds, JiaJia can not speak before, so all called Grandpa, Jia Jia's grandmother thinks that Grandpa is Grandpa, should not be called Grandpa.
But she can't mention it directly, all the time it's just an emotion, or tell the neighbors that Jiajia is very clear, this grandfather is not a grandfather, the grandfather of the hometown is the grandfather.
As the child grows up, she will occasionally come up with a sentence taught by her grandmother, so that the mother is very angry and passes on this idea to the child from a young age, which is not a good thing for the child, and it is not a good thing for the family relationship.
Comparison is meaningless, parents should give the right guidance
This kind of comparison of family members' closeness is a meaningless thing in itself, but people like to do things that are meaningless and can hurt others.
We can completely ignore this boring comparison, but parents can not ignore the guidance of the child, because the outside voice and the guidance of the people around them will really affect the child's attitude to the family, but also affect the family relationship, this is not a small thing.
As women become stronger, the way of family life is quietly changing, and the relationship between children and elders is completely different from before.
Grandparents are their own people, grandparents are outsiders, it has long become history, two young people to form a family, both parents treated equally will become a trend.
One manifestation of this trend is a close relationship between children and the elderly.
We should adjust the angle, instead of creating family conflicts, it is better to be tolerant and give the child the correct guidance, for the child, one more person to love, is more of a blessing.
When children are young, who is close to them means who spends more time with them, so there is no need for adults to be jealous of this matter.
After the child grows up, the relationship with the parents will gradually become estranged, because the child will be independent sooner or later, so it is meaningless for parents to do this kind of boring comparison, if there is, it can only increase family conflicts and affect the relationship between children and elders.