Text/End Of Little North
On the road of life, we will meet all kinds of people, some people are generous and cheerful, and some people are not generous.
For a long time, we thought that the bigger the road, the wider the road, but then we found out that this was not the case.
Born as a person, some things are generous, some things can not be generous, it is best to grasp a degree, do not encounter anything to be generous.
When you are generous, the other party may appreciate you at the time, but afterwards they will only laugh at you for being too stupid.
Never overestimate willfulness, and never overestimate any relationship with it.
People who deserve to be generous can be generous, people who are not worthy of generosity do not have to be generous, even if others will misunderstand you, you must do it, otherwise it will only make yourself more wronged.
If in life, you want to live happily and want to live a better life, then you should not be too generous in these two things, otherwise you will really bring trouble to yourself.
01: Don't borrow too generously
As a human being, we will naturally deal with others, some people are our relatives and friends, the relationship is mixed, it will naturally involve borrowing money, at this time I can not be too generous.
Look at it from two perspectives:
On the one hand, look at the character of the other party, on the other hand, look at their own economic strength.
If you have unused money in your hand and the other party's character is particularly good, then you will borrow generously, and there will generally be no problem.
But if the other party's character is not good, or you do not have any money in your hand, then do not borrow, the other party's character is not good, the money you lent out is difficult to get back, even if you want to come back, the relationship between each other is also frozen.
If you don't have any money in your hand, there is no need to be generous and swollen and fat, because the money is lent out, and you have to suffer yourself.
Self-media person Hai Ge once took a video:
Hai Ge has a particularly good friend, they play particularly well, although each other's three views are particularly close, but Hai Ge found that other people have problems with their character, in some things always want to make a bargain, but even so, Hai Ge did not think much.
Later, a friend had something to borrow from him, and although Hai Ge had a little hesitation, he still lent it to him, because the relationship was close, and he did not even play the IOU.
Originally it was good to borrow for half a year, but half a year passed, the friend did not have the slightest movement to pay back, Hai Ge was a little embarrassed to ask at first, but then there was no way, had to ask.
I didn't expect this question to matter, there was a problem, the friend actually said that he had never borrowed money, it must be haige who thought wrong, after the friend said it, haige was directly speechless, he didn't expect his friend to say such a thing.
At this point, he had no way, no IOUs, and no transfers, because he was giving the other party cash, and he had thought that there would be no problems in their relationship.
Some people are like this, when borrowing money, they will especially say, how to do it, wait until the money is repaid, there will be a problem, you may think that because of the repayment of money he has changed, in fact, it is not, but there is a problem with the character of others.
Human nature is such a reality.
Some things really can't be too generous, and Hai Ge is different, I have a friend who has no money and lends money to each other, although the other party will pay it back, but this money is also borrowed by him, in order to get this face, he actually loaned to the other party.
Now that friends want to understand, they already know that it is better not to borrow directly than to know that it is so uncomfortable, if they are annoyed with each other because of this, then they can also see a clear person.
Always know:
Money is not impossible to borrow, to see what kind of person the other party is, but also to do what they can.
If you easily lend money to the other party, not only is it particularly difficult to ask for money, but the other party will also have to make inches, feel easy, and will open their mouths to you again.
At this time, I am afraid that you borrow or do not borrow, borrowing money is uncomfortable, and the relationship between not borrowing each other may have problems.
Since you are an adult, the best way is to put away your own generosity, only in this way will you not make yourself more passive and make yourself more uncomfortable.
02: Promise not to be too generous
In life, some people are like this, they often make generous promises for face, but in fact they do not have this strength at all, and eventually embarrass themselves.
Many things should be done according to our ability, and if you can do it, you can do it, even if you can't do it, don't say big words, don't easily promise.
Some time ago, my friend Jiajia said something of her own.
Jiajia wanted to buy a house, and met a person under the introduction of a friend, and when she was eating, this patted her chest to ensure that nothing would happen.
In fact, Jiajia also has no appeal, but feels that the house price is a little high and wants to save some money.
After seeing the other party patting her chest and agreeing, Jiajia's hanging heart finally let go, she thought that there would be no problem, but she did not expect that there was still a problem.
The other party's ability is not good at all, in other words, when he promised her at that time, he did not have half a bit of confidence, but because he wanted to face it, he easily promised.
Since the promise was made, there was naturally a deadline, and Jiajia waited for a while and found that the other party did not move, so she asked her friend to ask.
This question did not matter, seeing that it could not be hidden, the other party said that he could not do it.
At that time, Jiajia was particularly angry, she pulled the other party out in a fit of anger, she thought she had met a capable person, but she didn't know that she had just met a liar who would only promise.
Talking about this matter, Jiajia was still particularly angry, she said:
"Since you can't do it, why punch your swollen face and fill your fat face?" Isn't it a shame that you don't have this ability to reveal yourself sooner or later? ”
In short, I very much agree with what Jiajia said, in fact, it is really like this, one thing can be done, since it can't be done, even if it is not done, others will not say anything, but promised that it cannot be done, which will make others angry.
People who promise generosity, in the final analysis, are people who pay special attention to face, think carefully about how much face is worth? If you can't do it, you don't end up losing face and embarrassing yourself.
The writer YiShu once said:
"Face is the hardest thing a person can put down, and it is also the most useless thing." The more you care about it, the heavier it becomes, the harder it will make you walk. ”
In fact, since you can't do it, don't make a generous commitment, since you have a generous commitment, you have to try to do it, living in this world, we don't have to please anyone.
Whether the relationship is good or the relationship is average, the things that cannot be done are impossible, and we really don't need to make ourselves tired and make ourselves more miserable in order to please each other.
In the days to come, may everyone see the truth of life, see people clearly when borrowing money, do not pressure themselves, and do what they can when they promise, only pleasing themselves, not pleasing others.
If you do, you will naturally live a very happy life.
About the Author:
Su Xiaobei, a young emotional writer and marriage counselor, focuses on marriage recovery and intimate relationship repair.