Many years ago, Gorky talked to his friend Lenin about his childhood.
By the time he finished speaking, Lenin's eyes were already filled with tears.
Lenin said to Gorky: "My old friend, write down all this, how educational it is!" ”
Thus, Gorky recorded his childhood life from the age of three to ten, against the backdrop of Russia in the 1870s and 1880s.
In the book "Childhood", Gorky incarnates as the protagonist Alyosha, who survives in the world and enjoys himself in suffering.
Born in a crippled family, in a violent environment, should people sink hopelessly?
Alyosha used her own experience to convey the answer to the people, and it was loud and clear:
We can't choose where we come from, but we can choose how to live.
The original family owes you, and you can win it back on your own.
1
No one can choose their own family of origin
The protagonist of the book, Alyosha,000, had a tragic childhood, and when he was 3 years old, his father died unexpectedly, and he became half an orphan in an instant.
His mother was too sad to take care of him, so she sent him to her grandmother.
And that was just the beginning of his nightmare.
In Alyosha's impression, laughter was almost never heard in her grandmother's house, and the people living here were always shouting, threatening and noisy.
Grandpa was a reckless man who used to work as a porter in the Volga River, and later opened a dyeing workshop, even after a small success, his temper did not change at all.
Once, Alyosha secretly dyed the tablecloth in her home a dark blue, and she was beaten by her grandfather.
As a result, he fell seriously ill and lay in bed for several days, unable to move.
The two uncles are completely defeated, and in order to separate the family, they often fight in the family, and even fantasize about killing their father in order to inherit the family property.
What should have been a sunny and happy childhood was full of darkness and suffocation in Alyosha's eyes.
In the comments section of the book, countless netizens empathize with Alyosha's experience:
My father was very grumpy, and he was often drunk at home, and when he was slightly upset, he beat me up;
I have been living in a relative's house, used to looking at other people's faces, and never know what love and warmth look like;
In the eyes of my parents, there was only money, and when I could take it out, I was their daughter, and when I couldn't come up with it, they hated me, and they were more disgusting than seeing flies.
Pile by pile, piece by piece, it is shocking to see.
Fu Seoul once said in "Strange Story": "This world is not fair, some people are born with a golden key, and some people are born with a mouthful of phlegm." ”
There is a very hard reality: each of us cannot choose our own original family.
Some people are born with injuries and cannot be healed in their entire lives.
Some people are lucky to be redeemed, but they can never erase the dark undertone.
Unable to choose where we come from, we stumble and go against the wind, and every step is like walking on thin ice.
2
Learning to reconcile with your original family is the most difficult practice
American psychologist Frank Kadler once said:
One of the most unfortunate facts of life is that the first major ordeal we encountered came from our families.
In her grandfather's house, which Alyosha called "hell on earth," his life was very depressing.
The embarrassment of life, the unprovoked beatings, and the fear of abandonment have always been like dark clouds in Alyosha's heart.
Alyosha never complained about fate or hated her mother, but tried to understand her helplessness and hardship.
My mother's life was displaced and tragic.
When she was young, her grumpy father scolded her, and her two brothers were cold and ruthless, and they always coveted the family property that belonged to her.
When she grew up, she had a hard time finding someone to love, but her husband died suddenly, and several children died one after another.
Occasionally, when the mother was in a good mood, she would laugh and chant to teach Alyosha to read and praise her son.
But when the sorrow of life struck, she had a cold and alienated expression, which made Alyosha nervous.
At the end of the day, love is an instinct and a skill that needs to be acquired.
The love of parents may be clumsy and powerless, but it is made by their experience and experience.
When the writer Mai Jia was 12 years old, because his classmates insulted his father as a "cow ghost snake god", he and his classmates got along.
The Mai family, who was beaten to the point of blue nose and swollen face, was once again severely beaten by his father, and two hard slaps slapped him, causing him to bleed from the nose.
The little one didn't understand why he helped his father out, and he wanted to be so ruthless?
This hatred of his is more than ten years.
In those years, father and son never spoke, he studied hard and went away, and whenever he wrote a letter, he never mentioned his father.
It wasn't until he later had a son of his own that he gradually understood that the beating that made him unforgettable was the protection given to him by his father in a special era, those who were silent and taciturn, hiding wordless affection.
I remembered that there was a topic on Zhihu: "What is the biggest gap between parents and children?" ”
One Gaozan replied: "It is the difference in times, experiences, and visions that make them unable to understand each other at all, so they love and kill each other, and both lose." ”
The love of parents may not be understood when we are young, but when we grow up and go to the human world, we will know that everyone has their own weaknesses and scars.
Some love, we can't recognize its true face when we are in it, but one day, we will read the hidden reluctance and tenderness.
Born as a human being, it is not easy for anyone, try to forgive and tolerate the limitations of parents, and reconcile with their own past.
Let the past be reborn, let go of what should be put down, and then start again.
3
The original family owes you, and you have to win it back yourself
Psychotherapist Satya said:
Not every trauma is a disaster unless you allow that disaster to happen.
Whether the situation that falls on us is good or bad depends entirely on how we perceive it.
There is a person in the book who has had no father since birth, begged around with her poor crippled mother, and went to the church gate on Sunday to wait for someone else's alms.
After the age of ten, her mother was embarrassed to take her to ask for food, so she began to teach her how to weave lace.
Soon, she became a master of their lace weaving, and she had the confidence to make an independent living.
After getting married, she seriously loved her grumpy husband and took good care of every child in the family.
In the midst of fate, she has always had a benevolent God in her heart.
This person was Alyosha's grandmother.
In Alyosha's dark and obscure childhood, Grandma was the warmest and brightest undertone.
She will make up warm stories to tell her grandson, and she will help those who are wandering on the street.
The optimistic and tenacious grandmother made the young Alyosha realize in a daze:
Although we cannot choose the environment in which we live, we can choose how to live.
In the dark days, Alyosha also eagerly drew nourishment from her surroundings.
In the gentle grandmother, he learned to be gentle with others; in the lonely tenant, he learned to observe the things around him with his heart.
On sunny days, he and his childhood playmates walked the streets to pick up the rags to subsidize the family.
In the muddy life, Alyosha and his grandmother, with strong faith, found their own stars in the space of sorrow and depression.
Alyosha's situation in the book is also Gorky's real childhood experience.
When he recalled his tragic past experiences, he sighed:
Childhood suffering will teach you to grow.
Gorky was born into a family of carpenters on the Volga River, where both parents died at an early age and lived in the family of his maternal grandfather, who opened a small dyeing factory.
Later, his grandfather went bankrupt, and at the age of ten he began to wander in society, and although he only attended primary school for two years, he maintained a strong interest in reading.
The wandering life at the bottom, people's difficulties and struggles, accumulated a wealth of material for him, and eventually made him a world-renowned writer.
The writer Liao Yimei once said: "People should have the strength to pull their own hair out of the mud." ”
The original family is the root of a person, but it is not a person's destiny.
Our parents gave us life, but that's not all of us.
We are weak at first, but we always grow up, and the places that hurt us will eventually grow into the strongest places we can be.
▽
Keigo Higashino once said:
Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but there is no choice, what kind of card fate sends you, you only have to try your best to play it well.
Truly brave people, even if fate gives a bad card, can disrupt it and reorganize it, and finally play the king bomb.
Each of us lives in this world, not to be defeated by the outside world, but to overcome the original cowardly self.
Thumbs up, everything that your original family brings you is also the best nourishment for you to grow up.
Author: Insight Annabésu