We are social social animals, and if we are not isolated from the world, we will not be separated from the issue of "dealing with others" in our lives.
In addition to lovers, other aspects of interpersonal relationships are reflected in friendships.
For us, it is impossible to deal with same-sex friends, and it is bound to mix some friends of the opposite sex to enrich our social relationships.
Because men and women are different in physiological structure, way of thinking and emotional perception, it is precisely because of this difference that they are more likely to produce complementarity, resulting in subtle sparks.
Therefore, this requires us to pay special attention when dealing with the relationship between friends of the opposite sex, and we must maintain measure and distance to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
Psychological research has shown that no matter how good the relationship between the opposite sex is, don't borrow these three things from each other, the other party is easy to fall in love with you.
Don't borrow each other's time, a lot of ambiguity is facilitated by time
What is the most important thing when a relationship is maintained?
Some people say it costs money, some people say it is to pay for each other.
In fact, in this matter of maintaining feelings, the most important basis is time.
Just like when we were young, we were very greedy and liked games, so we naturally spent more time on games, didn't like to write homework, and naturally paid less time on homework.
So, time can determine what the ultimate direction of a relationship is.
In other words, because I like it, I pay time, and because I pay time, I like it more.
Wu Qingfeng once said: "It is your time that wasted on me that made me so precious." ”
Because of this, when we get along with friends of the opposite sex, we must avoid borrowing time from each other, and we must also avoid borrowing time from each other and ourselves.
Time will dilute many things invisibly, and at the same time deepen many things in the invisible.
Take chat, it is nothing for friends of the opposite sex to contact once in a while, but if it is a daily contact, it will become ambiguous.
If there is no intention of developing into a boyfriend and girlfriend, then ambiguity will lead to a friendship that eventually becomes an embarrassment that even friends can't do.
Therefore, in order to avoid such a thing, friends of the opposite sex should still control some distance when they get along.
Don't borrow each other's efforts, the more you give, the more feelings accumulate
Luo Zijun and He Han in the TV series "The First Half of My Life" borrowed each other's time, and finally changed from ordinary friends to ambiguous relationships.
After Luo Zijun's divorce, he suddenly changed from Mrs. Kuo to an ordinary person, before the ten fingers did not stick to the Yang Chunshui, now everything has to come by himself, naturally there is some inadequacy.
Therefore, she developed a habit of seeking He Han's help as soon as she encountered something that would not be solved, and between the two people's feelings, the feelings of the two people changed subtly.
Because He Han could not feel his presence in a relationship for a long time, the need to be needed was like a desert, and Luo Zijun's troubles made him feel the long-lost Ganlin.
There is a Franklin effect in psychology, which refers to the fact that the best way to make people like themselves is not to help them, but to let them help you.
In the relationship between the sexes, when we choose to let friends of the opposite sex help us many times, we are actually indirectly guiding each other to pay for themselves.
Carnegie said in "The Weakness of Human Nature": "If you want to make the friendship long-lasting, then you have to let others do a little thing for you, which will make others have a sense of presence and importance." 」 ”
Therefore, when you pay more, the feelings become constantly cut and the reason is still chaotic.
Don't borrow each other's emotions, once in love, it is difficult to deal with
The most difficult thing in the world to pay is emotional debt.
Mr. Lin Qingxuan said that the best way to promote feelings between men and women is to borrow books.
You borrow it, I return it, and between the two, the emotion enters the emotional world of the other party with the help of the carrier of the book, and gradually reaches a state of continuous heating.
However, such a thing will become very romantic when placed on the emotion of two lovers, but if two people do not have the conditions to develop into a couple, then such a thing will become a disaster.
Therefore, in dealing with friends of the opposite sex, we must know the importance of a sense of proportion, and do not lose the principle and bottom line because of enjoying the ambiguity.
Li Yinhe said: "The exquisite life is first awake, not ignorant, that is, aware of its own existence; secondly, peaceful, not restless; again joyful, not painful." ”
If we like a lot like a person. And our relationship at that time was still at the level of friends, then it was enough for us to keep a friend's distance.
Because in this way two people can go on as friends, do not expect to get closer, because once people have greed, they are doomed to lose.