Elephant News reporter Wu Jingjing
Friends who pay attention to talk shows will definitely know He Guangzhi. This industry "dark horse" from assembly line workers to talk show stars is now popular and is the object of invitations from major variety shows. Recently, he participated in Youku's love variety show "I Haven't Talked About Love", this "love white" "mixed" guest love as an observer. The familiar "Duan Zi Hand" plays the same humorous attribute in the love roundup, of course, when interviewed by the Elephant News reporter, it is also "Duan Zi opens his mouth and comes". According to him, when watching the show, he empathized with many guests, "Whoever of them has a mistake, I feel that that person is me, belonging to the kind of 'five poisons'."
Although I have not been in love, it does not affect the output of views. For example, he feels that it is more difficult to fall in love than to talk about talk shows, and the methodology in love must also exist, and he also concludes that "the general direction is to let the other party reflect her value in this relationship." Two people together must be making progress together. For example, his concept of love is "for the purpose of marriage", "as long as you choose the right person, marriage can be as sweet as love." If it's not sweet, it must be a human problem, not a marriage problem"... Well, to put it bluntly, the head is the Tao, but the practical experience is zero, in his words, "I am now a body of theory has nowhere to play, just wait for the appearance of that person." I have already laid an ambush on the road of love, and as soon as that person appears, I will 'immediately start'."
Of course, before that, he didn't think it was bad to be "single", "it's just a choice, everyone's choice is different". He cited himself as an example, "Just like me, I want to first make myself better, become caring, become respectful of each other's opinions, and then enter a relationship." Because his idea is that he is not perfect enough now, if he finds another person who is not perfect enough to enter a relationship, he may have quarrels and contradictions in his life. Of course, these are just rational analysis, and if you really want to meet that person, these are not things. He is really busy at work now, and he doesn't seem to have time to manage his feelings, but mainly because that person has not appeared, as he said, if the two people really like it, no matter how busy they are, they can squeeze out time, "busy, certainly not a reason, nor an excuse"!
Quick Q&A:
Learned a lot about love
Q: As a person who also has no experience in love, your perspective in "I Have Never Been in Love" should be the most unique, so how does it feel to participate in the love roundup?
A: My feeling is that I saw myself in it, and some of the problems they had in love, I found that I had it myself, but I didn't realize it before, so I really learned a lot about love in this show. I feel that the method is actually crucial in love, because the probability of two people falling in love with each other at first sight at the same time is too small, and the method will be used at this time, so I really learned a lot of methods in this show. I am now a body of theory with nowhere to go, just wait for that person to appear. My current state is "I have been ambushed on the road of love, and as soon as that person appears, I will immediately 'move'".
Q: When you first recorded the show, as a "social terrorist", how did you break the deadlock and communicate with other artist guests?
A: Breaking the deadlock is actually broken by others, I am more passive, I have not done anything, I am waiting to be broken.
Q: Evaluate the other members of the Guessing Heart Group, who learned more love skills during the recording of the show? Share some of the love knowledge that will make you "suddenly enlightened".
A: In fact, a lot of the love knowledge I learned was learned from the love guests, and I saw a lot of negative teaching materials, so I can avoid it next time. Some of the more critical knowledge points are summed up by Teacher Shen, who often gives some correct directions and correct methods after seeing the negative teaching materials. For example, when you first meet your date, you must not expose your shortcomings, because this will make the other party feel worthless. Two people together, must be able to achieve each other's value is a good relationship. I was particularly impressed by this, because I am the kind of person who likes to blow up myself and feel that I am weird and sincere.
In addition to that, I sometimes don't think much about the other person's feelings. For example, once when Cai Rui invited Luo Zhiyang to go out to play, Luo Zhiyang said that he was a little uncomfortable, and Cai Rui still forcibly invited. This kind of forced invitation has also happened to me, and I feel that this is more of a "domineering president" feeling. Anyway, it is easy to move yourself, but in fact, you should consider it from the perspective of the other party.
Q: How does it feel to watch other people fall in love on the show? Do you have a desire to try?
A: When I watch others fall in love, I am particularly happy and enjoyable. I am the kind of person who has been particularly fond of mixing with others since I was a child, such as two classmates in the class when I was in school, and if they had some different classmate relationships between them, I was the first to "spread rumors". I think it's a special pleasure to "mix" other people in love, including that I will take the initiative to ask them to send a love letter to the girl in the next class, and these things are particularly fond of doing.
Q: Did you mention that the thing you spend the most every day is work and crush, and does a crush without results affect your mood? What methods will be used to adjust?
A: You have a crush on others, and others don't care about you or like you, this mentality can't be adjusted, you can only carry hard, stand up until your next crush appears.
Q: As a member of a large group of people who have never been in love, will you be in a hurry? Can you share your intrinsic qualities for the ideal type?
A: I am looking forward to love now, but I am not in a hurry myself. I used to be in a hurry, but after participating in this show, I found that I still had a lot of problems in myself, and I wanted to wait until I solved all these problems and became better before entering a relationship. For example: I have always been the person who is taken care of, whether at work or in life, I am a little less good at taking care of people, I want to wait until I am a little more mature, will take care of people, and then pursue that person. I want to wait for myself to get better. The other half's intrinsic quality requirement is that he must like me.
Falling in love also needs a "methodology"
Q: You said in the show that "it is more difficult to talk about love than talk show", and the talk show can be continuously optimized with the help of repeated practice and observation in life, so do you have some methodology to solve the "love" problem?
A: The methodology must exist, and through this show I also feel that the method is crucial in this relationship. In general, your general direction is to make the other person reflect her value in the relationship. Two people together must be making progress together. If it is a common regression and the worst of yourself, then this is not a healthy relationship, so let the other person feel their value.
Q: Before you said that you should use your brain to fall in love, but don't "love brain", don't lose yourself and be sober, how will you persuade those who have a "love brain"?
A: I think there is no way to dissuade, it is a paradox. If that person can be persuaded, then he is not a "love brain"; if you can listen to persuasion, then you are not a "love brain", those of us who are "love brains" are a bit disdainful of you, you can not listen to persuasion.
Q: The personalities of the guests are different, and the criteria for choosing a mate and the concept of love are not the same, have you ever empathized with the state or state of mind of any of the guests, or did you see your own shadow in them?
A: I empathize with a lot of the guests, especially when they make mistakes, and it feels like seeing myself, and I don't just empathize with one person. If any of them are at fault, I feel that that person is me, the kind that belongs to the "five poisons".
Q: Have you made any efforts to get rid of the order?
A: What I've been trying to do lately is to get better, and at the same time correct many of my shortcomings. After I found that I was not very good at taking care of people, now I basically take the initiative to stand up and be the one who guides everyone every time I go out with my friends. Maybe I will make decisions for everyone in terms of what to eat and what to play, including booking a hotel, booking a restaurant, where to go, these things are usually my coming. I'm going to practice taking care of everyone in the process.
There is not much difference between falling in love and other interpersonal relationships, in fact, it is two people in a relationship. Now I will try to make him feel comfortable when I interact with colleagues or friends, whether it is dialogue or various behaviors, I will try to take care of his feelings and respect each other's opinions. In fact, this is to prepare for my subsequent love affair, they all think that I am a good person lately, in fact, no, I just practiced with them.
Q: If the relationship is successful, what is the first thing you want to do with your lover, or what must you do?
A: If I am successful in love, there is nothing that I have to do with the other party, because I think that as long as two people are together, no matter what they do, they can be very happy, that is, to do some trivial things and live a life.
The "premise of marriage" concept of love has never changed
Q: Has there been a change in my "marriage-oriented" view of love after recording a few episodes of the show? In love, long-term stable marriage or enjoying the sweet love of the moment, which do you think is more important?
A: In my view of love, these two things are not in conflict. As long as you choose the right person, marriage can be as sweet as love. If it's not sweet, it must be a human problem, not a marriage problem.
Q: If your significant other has a disagreement with you, what will you do?
A: If there is a difference of opinion, I will consider it from the perspective of the other party, and I will try to let her know what I think. Because I think that after two people get married, they will become a community of interests, and if you two are a community of interests in the general direction, many things are actually only one choice, which is beneficial to both of you. With this big premise, I think many problems will be solved very well.
Q: What is the ideal love you're looking for? After the show is recorded, will it have an impact on your view of love?
A: My concept of love has always been "after falling in love with her, I will marry her, and I will go on with her", together for a lifetime. It hasn't changed until now. Before I came, I thought that love was particularly idealistic and sacred, but after I went to this show, I had a feeling that in fact, love is made up of a trivial little thing. Even after marriage, it is still a particularly bland life and a particularly trivial thing, and love only adds a layer of filter to those trivial things.
Q: What personally do you think about the fact that a person has been single for a long time?
A: I think it's good to be single for a long time, nothing. It's just a choice, everyone's choice is different. Like I just want to make myself better, to be caring, to be respectful of each other's opinions, and then to go into a relationship. My idea is that if I'm not perfect right now and I find someone who isn't perfect enough to enter into a relationship, we may have a lot of problems in our later lives, with all kinds of quarrels, all kinds of contradictions, and may be more tired and more wasteful of energy. Maybe I now put all my energy into myself after I get better, and then when I enter a relationship, the problems will become less, and there will not be so many contradictions, in fact, it is the same, but you put the problem before or after.
Q: Nowadays, the group of elderly single young people who have "never been in love" is huge, and you also admitted in the program that the identity of this group may be somewhat difficult, and you who are also "in love with a little white", do you have any words of encouragement or comfort that you want to say to them?
A: I hope that everyone will bravely stick to their own choices, don't be wrapped up in the opinions of those individuals, and stick to themselves. You feel that your state is good, just stick to it.
Q: What is your current operating frequency? Can you adapt? Do you have time to manage your relationships?
A: I'm still quite busy at work, and I don't have much time to manage my relationship, but I think it's mainly because the person hasn't shown up. If you really like two people in particular, no matter how busy, in fact, you can squeeze out time, busy, certainly not a reason, nor an excuse.
Q. Will the first content of this year's talk show be based on the theme of love or singles?
A: We're really getting ready for a talk show, and for now, my content this year should be about my own singles, unless it's just that suddenly I'm in love. But this chance should not be great.