Author/Child
See such a topic on Zhihu: Is the only child really so good?
After turning over some answers, many people have said that they have a common point, they believe that only children tend to be more filial and have a closer relationship with their parents.
In fact, I don't think this statement is objective. Whether the child is filial or not, many times there is really no absolute relationship with whether the only child is an only child, the only child also has a situation of filial piety, and the happiness of many children is also everywhere. In the final analysis, it depends on the education of parents and the character of children.
If the elderly with more than one child want to be happy in their old age, they must do the following things when they are young.
01. Not eccentric;
Under normal circumstances, the relationship between brothers and sisters should be mutual help, the closest people in the world, and one of the important assets on the road of life. Good brothers and sisters can really be said to be the salvation of life, and they will also become your strongest backing.
I have an older sister myself, we grew up together, what kind of personality we have with each other, it is very familiar, even if she is now married, but it does not affect our relationship in the slightest. She cares about my life and is happy for any bit of my progress, and so do I.
Every time it comes to filling out emergency contacts, I always fill in my sister's name, anyway, in countless subconscious times, my sister is the first person I think of.
My mother taught us from a young age that the two of you should not compete, but help each other, and if we are old and gone in the future, the closest ones will be the two of you. In daily life, my mother is basically the same, she does not care who earns more money or less money, when she goes home, she is the same child, the same treatment, she should say what she should say, she will scold, and the same is true when it hurts.
I could tell that my mom was trying to level the bowl of water on everything, and she was afraid that her eccentricity would cause discord between our two sisters.
In fact, in the eyes of my sister and I, my mother's eccentricity is purely superfluous, because I have established a stable relationship since I was a child, and now the two of us don't care so much about many things, and we don't care whether we suffer losses or not.
So our relationship, as always.
And eccentric parents, how easy is it to educate their children?
At that time, a person privately talked to me and said that she always hoped that her parents would only give birth to her, because her relationship with her sister was not good, she thought that her sister stole the affection that originally belonged to her, if she was the only one, her parents would put all their energy on her, then everyone would be happy. Her parents are more eccentric, who behave better, they like each other more, and buy things only for one person, which causes her to see her sister as a competitive relationship, rather than an important partner in life who moves forward hand in hand.
If she grows up like this, her relationship with her sister is not good, in fact, it is reasonable.
If there is no unity between children, there are signs of comparison, and it is basically impossible to be filial piety at that time, because everyone will only care about their own interests, and the subconscious mind will continue to compare, and in the matter of taking care of parents, a little more will make you think that you have suffered losses.
I believe that similar situations, many people have seen in life.
02. Teach by example;
There is a saying in the countryside, called the eaves of the water drip, bit by bit to no difference. This sentence probably means that the words and deeds of parents have a profound impact on children, and how parents do it, children are often easy to learn.
If there are multiple children, the parents' attitude towards the elderly in their own families when they are young is often easy to become a template for their old age, of course, this matter is not absolute, but in large cases, many people's families follow such a causal relationship.
Teaching by example is more important than emphasizing filial piety a hundred times.
My relatives in my family are very filial to the elderly, especially my grandparents, their lives are very happy when they are old, and the children are more filial than one. This concept of filial piety has long been rooted in my heart, because my grandparents also did this in those years, and the children of the elderly all looked at this in their hearts, and gradually became a habit of their own, and the attitude towards their parents and the elderly.
On this point, it really should not be underestimated.
03. Not snobbish;
Do parents also have snobbish eyes? Sure. Parents are also people, since they are people, there are some common diseases and habits that people cannot avoid, such as people's instincts are to seek advantages and avoid harms, and sometimes they will be flattered.
Some parents, in the face of their children, will use the child's achievements and social status, as well as the amount of money to determine their attitude, which child earns more money, then it is better for them, more attentive, in the same way which child is not so good, they may not only not give comfort and encouragement, but also go to worse.
I used to know an older sister whose parents were particularly snobbish.
She did not have a high income from her sister, and every time she went home for the New Year, her parents treated her and her sister with a completely different attitude, speaking politely to her sister, even with flattery, and talking to her was more unreasonable and did not respect her opinions. There weren't enough beds to sleep in at night, as there were a bit too many people to go back, and her parents never followed her advice and instead arranged for her to sleep on the couch.
The dissatisfaction in her heart grew day by day, and she no longer liked to go back for the New Year.
Including her relationship with her sister, it has become very blunt, because she has never learned to look at this matter calmly, as long as she thinks it is very sad, and her sister, as a vested interest, thinks that all this is normal.
So later she also gradually estranged her sister, the two people are getting closer and closer, the gap is getting bigger and bigger, obviously when they were young, they had a very good relationship.
The snobbish eyes of parents can often become a powerful means of disintegrating the children's family relationship, and to a certain extent, they play a role in provoking dissension.
Therefore, for non-snobbish parents, the environment in which their children grow up will be more loving and easier to teach their children to be united and harmonious.
The harmony of children is the most important wealth of a family, and a group of harmony can really bring many things to follow.
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