In order to further implement the newly introduced
Family Education Promotion Act
Help parents alleviate anxiety and bring babies scientifically
The Municipal Women's Federation was launched one after another in the early stage
"Poetry City Family Talk" family education series of fine courses
And in the continuous update, the response is strong
During special periods, children are suspended at home
How to get along and grow up happily with your children?
Then brush it again
Let's take our family education class!
What I pushed today is
Member of the Family Education Lecturer Group of the Municipal Women's Federation,
Brought by Teacher Hu Lianghua of the Twelfth Middle School of the City
Are Your Children Happy? 》
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Are your children happy?
Talk about how to cultivate children's happiness
Today let's talk about how to cultivate children's happiness. "Are your children happy?" It is estimated that parents and friends are most concerned about the problem when their children are born, and no parent does not want their children to be happy, but you ask yourself, are your children happy?
Let's treat children like children
Before we start the exchange, please ask parents, friends, and classmates to make a role identification game, and please fill in the corresponding text after the sentence "I am..." to talk about their role.
For example, "I am a junior high school Chinese teacher", which is a social role that I play.
To answer this question is to answer the ultimate philosophical question: "Who am I?" "It is said that a foreign scholar went to Peking University, and when he entered the door, he was asked three questions by the doorman and security brother of Peking University: Who are you? Where are you from? Where are you going? All of a sudden, the foreigners were calmed down: Peking University is a cow! Even the doorman security guy is a philosopher!
How you answer these three questions is actually a role for yourself. As a person, you play a variety of roles all the time. On each role, there are corresponding responsibilities attached. For example, I said that I am a junior high school Chinese teacher, and this role is very responsible, can I be qualified for this role? It was a torture to me, and it was a great effort and annoyance to God.
Role means responsibility, and responsibility is related to happiness. The role positioning is accurate, and the responsibility that you should bear is also clear. If we do our duty, we will be happy.
What role a person plays in life is determined by complex factors such as his age, talent and ability, and is not set in stone. Different roles have different responsibilities. This is a relatively easy truth to understand. If we impose responsibility beyond a role on a person, then it causes him pain.
Recently, a fifth-grade elementary school classmate named Wang Jianning wrote a post on the Internet called "July Talk - A Fifth Grade Elementary School Student's Lamentation and Reflection on Summer Vacation", the full text has 1810 words, this child complains about it is really big, the fifth grade, with a 1810-word article, spit on his summer vacation life!
She said that adults and experts say that July is a month that surpasses others; therefore, July has become a month that makes her breathless: her parents have enrolled her in many tutoring classes, writing homework and practicing the piano in the morning, learning olympic numbers in the afternoon, and painting at night. Students, is this a reflection of your summer vacation life? She was very envious of her parents' childhood, when her parents were young, although the material was not very rich, but they could go to the field to break corn, light a fire and eat it; go to the creek to catch some small fish and shrimp, raise and play, and live a very happy life!
From Wang Jianning's complaining, we see the state of children's lives: always in learning, always in competition; there is no time for relaxation and play, and games are a child's natural right; but children are often discouraged by their parents' words "for your future good", in addition, they are never better than "other people's children".
So, what about other people's children in the eyes of parents? Happy? Peking University did a survey among students, and 47.6% of Peking University students felt unhappy, confused about life, and did not know why they were studying. This is a serious phenomenon. Why are college students like this? Qu Jingdong, a professor in the Department of Sociology at Peking University, believes that the current education makes our children in competition all the time, and this competition is because our society is a screening society. The anxiety about the future brought about by competition is destroying parents, and through parents, destroying our children.
Happiness comes from the satisfaction of human desires. Let the children go to Peking University and Tsinghua University, okay? Of course, it is good, but is the desire of "Tsinghua university and Peking University" a child's or our parents' desire? Obviously, it is more about the desires of our parents.
What is a child's desire? Have we paid attention? Estimated no.
We put the child on the bench, throw it into the sea of questions, turn the child into a learning machine, they have no childhood, where does the child come from?
Children are children, we let them take on the responsibility of future life prematurely, and make children less like children, where is the happiness?
Cultivating an interesting soul is more important
Someone on the Internet has said that beautiful skin bags can be seen everywhere, and interesting souls are rare in a thousand years. It is also said that life is not only about gouge, but also about poetry and distance. What does the interesting soul, poetry and distance mean? It refers to the richness and variety of the spiritual world of man.
Studying well does not mean that the spiritual world is rich and colorful. There is a student, named Wei Yongkang, born in 1983, at the age of 2 years old, he knew more than 1,000 Chinese characters, at the age of 4, he had completed the course of junior high school, at the age of 8, he was admitted to the best local key high school, at the age of 13 he was admitted to the Department of Physics of Xiangtan University, and at the age of 17, he was admitted to the Institute of High Energy Physics of the Chinese Academy of Sciences. Awesome, right? However, in July 2003, Wei Yongkang, who had been a graduate student for three years, did not even get a master's degree and was dissuaded by the school.
Why?
The mother of this "prodigy" is called Zeng Xuemei, and when she was young, she rubbed shoulders with the college entrance examination, which became a regret that she could not erase in her heart, and the child became her hope for realizing her ideals. In addition to studying, she never let Wei Yongkang interfere in anything at home, Wei Yongkang said in an interview, when he was a child, his mother always locked him up at home to read books, and never allowed him to go out and play with children. The result is that Wei Yongkang has no friends, no entertainment, no spiritual life of his own except for reading and exams, he is his mother's puppet and a tool to make up for his mother's regrets, completely losing himself, and the result is of course tragedy.
When we raise children, we are often anxious about whether the child can find a good job, whether he can have a good income, and care about the material needs of the child, which is also the lowest level of human needs. Is this the right thing to do? Can't say no. Many parents and friends have come from the era of material shortage, and their desire for material life is still relatively strong, and they may not be able to pay attention to the spiritual world of people. However, we have entered a new era in which material conditions are no longer embarrassing, and some people are even very rich. For ourselves, or our friends and acquaintances, it is no longer uncommon for us to travel abroad. But what these people who go abroad, especially the big moms, do abroad is sometimes humiliating and not very popular with foreigners. This shows that material abundance alone does not bring us happiness. Getting in the car to sleep, getting out of the car to take pictures, and hanging yourself on a peach blossom tree are the norm for many people to spend money to travel. More often, they spend money on suffering rather than happiness.
How can travel be happy? That requires people to have the ability to be aesthetic. We have all read Zhu Ziqing's "Spring", that is, writing about the spring wind, the spring grass, the spring flowers, the spring rain, and some of the activities of people in the spring, but it is written so emotionally and so beautifully.
"Looking forward to it, looking forward to it, the east wind is coming, and the footsteps of spring are near.
Everything looked like he had just woken up, and he opened his eyes happily. The mountains rose, the water rose, and the sun's face blushed.
The grass sneaked out of the ground, tender and green. In the garden, in the field, lo and behold, a large field full of people. Sit, lie down, play two rolls, kick a few balls, race a few runs, catch a few times to hide. The wind is gentle and the grass is soft.
Peach trees, almond trees, pear trees, you don't let me, I don't let you, all full of flowers to rush to the trip. Red like fire, pink like Kasumi, white like snow. The flowers were sweet; when I closed my eyes, the trees seemed to be full of peaches, apricots, and pears. Hundreds of bees buzz under the flowers, and butterflies of all sizes fly around. Wildflowers are everywhere: miscellaneous, nameless, scattered in the grass like eyes like stars, and blinking. ”
These words are so beautiful to read. It is not that we cannot see these beautiful views of Zhu Ziqing, but that we lack Zhu Ziqing's beautiful heart, lack of love for the world, and a pair of eyes that discover beauty.
There was a girl who went to the street with her colleagues, ran into a sprinkler truck, and wet their clothes, and everyone else complained, thinking that today was very unlucky, but the girl was very excited, saying that she saw a long-lost rainbow in the water mist, and then in the summer, what does it matter if she gets wet a little? We say that this girl's heart is beautiful, plump, and loving.
For example, when we went to southern Anhui, we saw the white-walled Southern Anhui buildings, hidden in the green trees of the mountains, which were very good-looking, but why did it look good? It is estimated that many people can't say it. That's because the perfect match between the pink wall Dewa and the mountains in southern Anhui province in terms of color and shape, in line with certain aesthetic principles, can bring people visual pleasure. Similarly, how to appreciate a painting? Why is the garden beautiful? ...... These must be supported by relevant knowledge. Desperately doing the problem, you can't get it.
Cultivate children's beautiful hearts, guide them to look at life with an aesthetic attitude, guide them to love nature, love others, give children the eyes to find beauty, your child will encounter many beautiful things, things and people in his life, and his heart will naturally be full of happiness.
Let the child get a sense of accomplishment in the creation
There are three worlds in life, the first is the material world, the second is the spiritual world, and the third is the world of creation. Happiness must have basic material security, but also spiritual satisfaction, and the greatest happiness in life comes from the sense of achievement brought about by creation.
How important is it to create? I want to ask you, more than a thousand years ago, Li Bai, I'm sorry, talked about Li Bai, the flies he saw when he ate, and the flies we see when we ate today, are two different flies, right? But has their way of life changed? No! What about other creatures? Nor, except for people. Li Bai's world is completely different from ours. Why? Because humans are creative. Without creativity, human civilization cannot progress, and human life will be as static as flies.
Creativity is an innate human ability and the greatest favor that nature has given to human beings. Every child is a little genius of creation, when I was a child, I often liked to make things by myself, the most typical is to build all kinds of things with building blocks, and when I was a child, I liked to use mud to knead things. After setting up, I also like to show it to adults, look proud and petite, feel great achievements, and of course, my heart is full of happiness.
However, once the children go to school, we cancel these activities that they create and imagine. Judging from most schools at present, our education only stays on "memorizing" and "taking exams". Our children's "test-taking" is to reproduce the knowledge of "remembering", and get the "old" knowledge, that is, the knowledge discovered by others, rather than the new knowledge discovered by themselves after exploration, let alone the creation of new things with knowledge.
Discovering knowledge and applying it is the essence of creation, but the premise is "wild thinking.". We Chinese used to be able to think wildly, such as the "Hot Wheel", "Clairvoyance", "Downwind Ear", "Tuxingsun" mentioned in the "Fengshen Yanyi", "Chang'e Running Moon" in mythological stories, and "Worrying about the Sky" in the idiom, all of which show our extraordinary imagination Chinese. Most of these "wild thoughts" have also become reality, which shows the importance of imagination. Later, however, our education, that is, "reading only the books of the sages with one heart", reading books, writing eight strands of literature, and examining the examination of sciences, became the biggest task, and this task even degenerated into just "inheriting the absolute learning of the saints" and "making words on behalf of the saints", completely giving up their own creativity, and engaging in a little invention and small production, they will be denounced as "strange tricks and tricks".
A big reason why many parents motivate their children to study is to go to a good university in the future and have a good job in the future. The question is, what is a good job? Which parent will tell us about it? A good job should be a job that can realize the value of one's own life, a job that interests oneself and can exert one's creativity. There was a businessman in Germany who was doing very well. Once, he had an opportunity to go to the university to listen to a philosophical lecture, and he was very interested, so he handled his business, was admitted to the graduate school of philosophy, and later went to the university to teach philosophy and study philosophy. In terms of income, his income as a university professor was far less than his income as a businessman. However, he is very happy to have achieved something.
We aspire to success every day, but our understanding of "success" can be biased. Success is not equal to fame, and it is not equal to profit. Kang Yibin, a professor at Princeton University in the United States, said that in the past, international students on the mainland were more anxious in their mentality, and some students were eager to achieve success, especially wanting to become famous quickly. They can't enjoy the joy of scientific research, and they can't enjoy the sense of accomplishment in scientific research that has made discoveries and created. With such a mentality, schools and homeschooling have a great responsibility. Our whole society has a strong sense of utilitarianism, and we inadvertently pass this utilitarianism to our children. In our education, we do not guide children to experience the fun of discovering new knowledge and new methods in the learning process, and do not let children feel the sense of achievement and pride of creation. We use fame and fortune to tempt children to work hard to "learn", rather than using the fun of exploring the world, discovering the world, and creating to inspire children, not to return to the value of learning itself, not to return to the essence of education. The essence of education is to guide children to discover their own talents and their own potentials in learning, to strengthen this talent and potential, to use their talents and potentials, to discover and create.
With regard to education, Aristotle said: "Education must be based on three principles, moderation, possibility and propriety. "Yes, do not pursue the best, pursue possible success, treat children in an appropriate way, treat children as children, inject love and beauty into children's hearts, stimulate their creativity, I think, your children will be happy!"