Author ┃ Blue Feather Read aloud ┃ Blue Feather
Guidance ┃ Guo Xinai Editor ┃ 丄学号
Once upon a time, there was a farmer who had no patience to wait for the seedlings of the crops to grow little by little, and he was even more reluctant to take good care of the small seedlings in the hot sun and rain.
However, he also wanted a good harvest and abundance after the seedlings grew up.
So the farmer raised each seedling, thinking that the seedlings could grow up quickly.
The next day, however, all the seedlings withered and the farmers found nothing.
This is the fable "Seedlings Help".
This self-made clever farmer, contrary to the growth law of crops, dragged the foundation of the seedlings hard, but destroyed the good seedlings, and finally the grains were harvested.
As everyone knows, many parents are also raising seedlings when educating their children.
Ignoring the child's growth and development law, ignoring the child's individual differences, forcing the child to complete the things that cannot be reached, such behavior, how can it not destroy the foundation of the child's seedling?
Many times, it is precisely the parents' eagerness to kill the child's talent.
01
Seedling propagation is the greatest irresponsibility
Some time ago, I was shocked by a news.
A doctoral father forced his son, who had just entered elementary school, and his daughter, who was still in kindergarten, to memorize texts and learn high numbers, completely ignoring the content that was far beyond the child's comprehension.
The child can't learn, and the father speaks harshly to the child, either hitting or scolding.
The children's mother felt that there was a problem with her husband's way of education, and repeatedly persuaded and communicated, but to no avail. Forced to do so, the mother took her husband to court.
The Doctor's dad's "education" method is not just a rush, or simple and rude. Hidden behind his excuse of "hoping for Jackie Chan" is actually extreme irresponsibility.
The reason why the farmer in "Picking Seedlings to Grow" wants to raise the seedlings is because they are not willing to wait for the seedlings to grow up slowly, and they want the joy of a good harvest, but they are not willing to pay the hard work of cultivation.
Parents who are eager to succeed are also disregarding the child's growth law, have no patience to accompany the child to grow slowly, are unwilling to take on the responsibility of the child's growth path, and only hope that the child will become a talent quickly, or even one step in place.
This kind of thinking is undoubtedly extremely irresponsible.
The famous educator Sukhomlinsky once said, "To educate children well, we must constantly improve our educational skills." To improve educational skills, parents need to make personal efforts to continuously improve their own training. ”
Indeed it is.
On the issue of children's education, instead of forcing their children to grow up quickly, parents should be patient, cultivate themselves, and accompany their children to experience the ups and downs of the road of growth.
02
Seedlings help stifle the child's future
In November last year, the once-famous "prodigy" Wei Yongkang suddenly passed away at the age of 38, leaving the world with the last exclamation point.
Wei Yongkang was once a beautiful and legendary:
He was literate at the age of 1 and a half, entered the county key middle school at the age of 8, was admitted to university with a high score of 602 at the age of 13, and became a graduate student of the Institute of High Energy Physics of the Chinese Academy of Sciences at the age of 17...
However, at the age of 20, he was persuaded by the Chinese Academy of Sciences to retire because he could not take care of himself in life, and from then on, he was confused and "invisible to everyone".
What made Wei Yongkang's life high and low was his mother's overly one-sided and radical education method.
When Wei Yongkang was a child, his mother never let him worry about the trivialities of life as long as he studied well.
Wei's mother did not allow her son to go out to play, and because of the lack of communication with his peers, he became taciturn and had no friends.
This uneven growth process made Wei Yongkang quickly lose control after getting out of his mother's control, and he not only lived his life into a mess, but also missed the opportunity to read a doctorate because he forgot to write his graduation thesis.
A person who is so gifted is because of his mother's eagerness to achieve success, and in the end he has achieved nothing.
Wei Yongkang is not alone. How many children, under the pretext of their parents' "for your own good", are forced to collapse!
Last semester, near the end of the semester, the boy Xiao liang was suspended from school because of bipolar disorder.
Xiao Liang was originally a cheerful and lively boy. But since he started junior high school, his mother has constantly asked him to work hard.
He was forced to give up basketball, give up guitar, give up painting... However, his efforts did not come in exchange for a word of recognition, only his mother's hysterical persecution.
He finally broke down.
Insomnia, irritability, self-harm... His mother took him to see a psychiatrist and learned that his child was suffering from bipolar disorder!
There are many parents, under the banner of "letting children win at the starting line", forcing their children to run forward desperately.
However, as the saying on the Internet: "Life is like a marathon, the key to winning is not the explosion of the moment, but the persistence on the way." ”
Let the child enter the sprint state at the starting line, and the final result is that the child exhausts himself early, how can they run the marathon of life?
03
Respect the rules of child development
Let the child grow up healthily
Doing the right thing at the right age is a kind of wisdom, and it is a responsibility to carry out the right education at the right age for the child.
Qualified education is guided by the situation and accompanies children to every step of growth.
Preschool: Encourage children to develop interests
Educationalist Avanesova pointed out in her book "Preschool Children's Education" that at this stage, parents should pay attention to their children's hobbies, encourage children to develop their own interests, and let children form a perception of the world in play.
At this stage of children, parents should accompany more, in the process of companionship, encourage children to contact the world and explore the world.
At this stage, guiding children to develop healthy habits and eating habits, and constructing basic concepts of right and wrong is far more important than forcing children to read early and learn English.
At the same time, this stage is also a stage where children's intelligence develops rapidly. Children's intelligence can be developed through puzzle games and educational toys.
Elementary school: Help children develop good habits
Someone once traced the growth process of nearly a hundred college entrance examination winners and found that most of their parents, most of them from primary school, consciously cultivated their children's habits.
For example, there is a concept of time, there is a plan, love to read, independent learning, regular combing knowledge and so on.
These habits played a huge role in the later learning and growth of these elements.
There is a saying that goes, "Happiness depends not on nature, but on human habits." ”
It can be seen that habits are important to a person.
However, the formation of good habits is not achieved overnight, it requires a long period of consolidation and training. I hope that my child will develop good habits and start as early as possible.
The primary school stage is the initial stage when children are exposed to collective life and learn cultural knowledge.
At this time, children have good plasticity and strong imitation ability. At this stage, helping children develop good living and learning habits will benefit children for life.
Secondary school stage: Respect for the child's personality development
Recently, neighbors often complain to me about their daughters.
When the neighbor's daughter went to middle school, she was a very well-behaved and quiet girl. She is good at liberal arts, especially English and Chinese.
But the neighbor forced her daughter to choose science. The little girl's three years of high school were very hard, but her grades were still unsatisfactory. The college entrance examination barely reached the undergraduate line.
The girl wanted to apply for a teacher training major, but the neighbor felt that being a doctor was more promising, forcing the child to apply for medical school.
After five years of college, the little girl couldn't keep up with the progress of the school because she didn't like it, and she hung up too many subjects, and finally didn't get a degree certificate.
Now, the girl has been at home for half a year, and she does not look for a job, nor does she go out of the door, except for sleeping and playing with her mobile phone.
A good beautiful girl, half a year tossed herself into a fat and bloated appearance.
What happened to the neighbor's daughter, many children are also experiencing.
Parents are accustomed to covering the sky with one hand, disregarding their children's personal wishes, forcing their children to grow up along their planned routes.
As everyone knows, children who enter adolescence have their own ideas about life and the future.
Parents at this stage should learn to let go, let the children think for themselves, to choose. All you can give is suggestions, not guidance.
Children's life children always have to go on their own, even as a parent, you can only accompany, can not change.
04
Let the child thrive
Gorky famously said, "Loving children is something a hen would do, but to be good at educating them is a big deal." ”
Deeply.
As a parent, there is no doubt about the love for your children. But this kind of love, if not done in the right way, will also become the deepest harm to the child.
Jackie Chan is the most ardent expectation of every parent to his children.
The Warring States Policy reads: "Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans for them." ”
But the longest-term plan for parents for their children is by no means at the beginning of their children's lives, they decide the end point for them, and then force the children to overload growth.
Instead, learn to respect and accompany the child, and let the child grow freely at his own pace and in the direction that his heart desires.
May every child enjoy the sunshine and rain and thrive in the future, rather than being artificially elevated and then withering early.
Author: Lan Yu, a middle school teacher who is uneasy about the status quo, holds a heart for Akagi to do education, with a heart of benevolence to students, and wishes that every child will be treated gently by the world.
Appreciation belongs to the author
Author Reader┃Blue Feather
Lan Yu, from Shihezi, Xinjiang, is a middle school teacher, a science and technology innovation counselor, who loves reading and writing, and is a creator of educational parenting literature. Willing to warm the world with words, I hope that every child can be treated with tenderness. Looking forward to meeting more peers, learning from each other, and growing together.
Shanbo Education Guide ┃ Guo Xinai
Guo Xinai, principal of a primary school in Shenzhen, a first-class teacher, a family education instructor, an advanced educator in Bao'an District, served as the director of the Moral Education Office, engaged in education for 34 years, loves calligraphy and literary creation, and his works have repeatedly won awards in various calligraphy and literature competitions at all levels, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of youth growth, psychological education and parent-child parenting.