Text/End Of Little North
Marriage is really difficult to make people elusive, people who think of marriage as particularly ideal, it is often difficult to have an ideal marriage, and people who do not have much expectations for marriage can live a good life.
It is said that marriage needs to be managed, because even the most loving couple will have 500 urges to strangle each other to death, but how to operate has become a problem.
In marriage, women always seem to be the representative of the weak, hard work but not understood, originally wanted to live with each other all the time, but finally can only part ways.
How many women, who have a particularly painful life in marriage, even if this does not have the ability to break up, just want to continue to seek perfection.
But the more grievances you are, the worse the results.
As a woman, you have to see through marriage, because marriage is probably not a castle of love, but a shura field.
When it comes to marriage, women are better off understanding these two things in order to better embrace happiness.
01: Never lose yourself
Influenced by the traditional thinking of the male owner and the female protagonist, many people after the marriage of the husband and wife, the wife chooses to give up her work and take full care of the family, if you can get the understanding of the man, it is good, if you can't understand, it is doomed to be a tragedy.
Even if you give more for your family, he will not be grateful, even if you give up yourself for the sake of your family, he will not be moved.
This friend Zhang Na especially has a feeling, if it is not around the husband after marriage, it is not like this now, but there is no if in marriage, only results.
When Zhang Na and her husband first met, they were both in big cities, they both had decent jobs, her husband was a technical supervisor in a steel mill, and she was not bad in a state-owned enterprise.
But after getting married, everything changed, because the mother-in-law did not have time to help watch the children, she was particularly tired every day, seeing his wife so tired, her husband proposed that he resign, but Zhang Na did not want to resign, she was too reluctant to work.
However, her husband has been doing work for her, saying that there is no way for her not to resign, and only the resignation date can be on the right track. In desperation, Zhang Na had to resign.
When I first resigned, everything was fine, but slowly something went wrong.
First because of the economic downturn, the husband's unit laid off employees, in order not to lose his job, the husband promised to be transferred to other cities, promised to be easy, but it was too difficult to do.
In the face of this result, Zhang Na could only come to the new city with her husband, she thought she would come to a good city, but she did not expect that the new city was not high except for high prices.
When the child went to kindergarten, Zhang Na wanted to find a job, but found that it was difficult to be ascended to the sky, either sales, or poor wages, and finally there was no way she became a life teacher in her child's kindergarten.
Now Zhang Na has completely lost herself and lived into her own nasty appearance, but there is no way to do this, not only that, but her husband does not have a good attitude towards her, as if all this is caused by her.
There is a line in The Book of Becoming Jane Austen:
"Don't lose yourself in front of anything, even dogma, even the eyes of others, even love."
In fact, it really is.
When you lose yourself in your marriage, then this pain can only be tasted by you alone.
Many women suffer in marriage because they live in the eyes of the other party, not according to their own hearts.
As a woman, you must know:
Losing oneself is always more terrible than losing love, which can make one's life without the slightest quality.
02: Instead of humble peace, it is better to leave the scene with dignity
When a man loves you, you are a baby and will give you the best love; when a man does not love you, you are nothing, so when a man does not love you, what you have to do is not a humble prayer, but a dashing position.
Even if it will be painful to leave and will make you uncomfortable for a long time, take a stance, because this is your last decency.
Never take a chance with a man who doesn't love you, because it simply doesn't exist.
Leaving someone who doesn't love himself is sad on the surface, but it's actually a kind of luck.
Because only by leaving people who don't love themselves can we better find people who love ourselves and give others a chance to get close to ourselves.
My friend Daqin divorced last year, I asked Daqin the reason, Daqin just faintly said that she didn't love it, I asked Daqin was in pain?
Daqin looked at me and didn't speak.
Through the look in Daqin's eyes, I suddenly found that my questioning was a bit convulsive, divorced, can it not be painful? Isn't it obvious that I'm putting salt on someone else's wound?
After a while, Daqin said:
"In fact, there is nothing, since he does not love, there is no point in me continuing to pester, not only will I not get the desired result, but I will also be ridiculed." 」
I have to say that Daqin is particularly right, for men who don't love themselves, my best thing to do is to leave, because even if you are humble and retained, he will not change his mind, if he will, then he will not leave you.
A lot of things, you have to face, the other party does not love, you have to face, he turns around and has to face, not that you don't want to face, things will pass, even if you don't face it for a while, sooner or later you have to face it.
As Zhang Xiaoxian said:
"Many things are good to see; if you can't see them, you will eventually have to survive." Don't think that if you can't see it, you won't pass. ”
The most important thing in marriage is decency, not sadness, and since whatever you do is the same result, why be sad?
It's better to leave with dignity.
In the feelings, it is originally a good love when it is love, and it is far away when it is not loved, and it is originally entangled that there will be no good results, and it will only increase the annoyance of oneself.
If that's the case, don't hold on to it and try to let go.
It is difficult for people in this life, marriage is not easy, since entering marriage, it is naturally a good thing to be happy to go to the white head, if you can't, there is nothing to regret.
It is enough to love, and as for the rest of your life, forget it.
In this world, whoever leaves has lived the same life, and we don't have to humble ourselves to dust.
Since marriage is doomed to not go to the end, then we must know how to turn the corner and be the most decent person in marriage.
For the rest of your life, may you meet a man who loves you deeply, he will hurt you to the bone; put you in your heart, may you not lose yourself in marriage, live freely and beautifully; may you have the ability to love you, but also have the courage to leave.
That's enough!