*Title Source: Question 1 of this issue
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Question 1
(Source of the title of this issue)
Keywords: bad temper
Woman: height 160cm, weight 46kg, grass-roots employees of the enterprise;
Male: Height 180cm, weight 70kg, civil servant.
Looks belong to others will be praised, higher than the husband.
The emotional concentration of ten years of marriage is still high, and the marriage is happy. I have a bad temper, irritable and irritable, and speak directly, but after the tantrum, I will take the initiative to apologize, and my husband will immediately give in to show understanding. But after giving birth to the Second Treasure, he still became a little suspicious and narrow-minded
For example, once I see my husband like a female selfie, I will be unhappy (my husband also explained that they are colleagues, as long as the hair ring will be liked, I do not care what others send).
For example, a party of colleagues in the husband's unit, my husband took me and my children to participate, I found that I was more familiar with a little girl in the unit, and my husband would call each other a little beauty, although it was in front of me and other colleagues, but I was uncomfortable listening. (The husband said that they are all colleagues, younger than himself, and people shout so he shouts like this)
I am ashamed to say that because of this matter and my husband quarreled, he felt that I was bored, saying that I usually had a big pattern, how could I be angry with these meaningless things, and I felt that I had a bad temper (my husband has always felt that if I had a temper change, it would be perfect) Indeed in the hearts of my family and husband, I think I have done very well in addition to my bad temper. In life, I take good care of my husband, be reasonable, understand that he supports him, but I am irritable to similar things I gave above, and I am not willing to bow my head.
May I ask sister dolls, how much damage does a bad temper do to the marriage? Am I too small and narrow-minded?
answer
You didn't send a picture, you didn't show us whether your appearance belonged to others and was higher than your husband, but that's the key to the problem.
"Others will boast when they see it" this does not explain anything at all. That kind of clerk often had people compliment her, so that her business could be done quickly. It doesn't mean beauty. In addition, the profession of teacher, that is, the respected profession, will have a lot of people to praise, in fact, just to seek some convenience for themselves, does not really mean that you look good. Look around.
The two things you mind, the husband giving the female colleague a selfie like, and calling each other's little beauty, are all problems with your choice, and there is no deterrent effect on the husband.
Generally speaking, girls posting selfies is essentially showing their MV and choice, and your husband's liking is to express his affirmation and interact with her. Generally everyone sees single people liking each other's selfies, exchanging good feelings and possibilities, and where there are married men to like other people's selfies, this is definitely abnormal. He will do this, indicating that your relationship is not as stable as you think.
Secondly, calling others a little beauty, still in front of you, shows that your right to choose is not high, so that he has the tendency to spread polygamy without fear. But any married man who has stable feelings, measure in his heart and avoids suspicion will not call his female colleague "Little Beauty", which is too affectionate. Your husband explained this matter as "all colleagues, smaller than yourself, people shout him like this", which is also quite perfunctory, and it is impossible to see what you think.
So you are not suspicious of these two things, but your instinct is reminding you that your husband may have a mind. Because it is common for people to be unhappy about these things, but your problem is that you can only be unhappy and have no ability to solve them. You mind, he knows, but he doesn't change, and he also says that your temper is not good, and your husband doesn't look afraid of losing you at all. If you really trust him and the pattern opens, then you really become a big room.
In this case, it is useless to quarrel, and it is useless for me to condemn him with you. The only thing that works is that you have to realize that your choices are far less than you think. Otherwise, if your husband dares to do this to you, you can change people in minutes.
Passive beating, only by improving his "combat effectiveness" can you deter the other party and make him dare not bully you casually. You didn't send photos, but I think 99% of your current MV might need a big boost.
Secondly, you are grumpy, this, 100% need to be changed, you have to be clear, which problems need to be angry, which are not necessary to be angry.
For example, this kind of key issue that blurs the bottom line, you can act very angry to show your bottom line. But in ordinary getting along, "irritable and irritable, direct speech" are typical characteristics of high PU.
You must know how to grasp the big and let go of the small, and be flexible in handling small things.
Smart girls will grasp the degree of temper. If you have been angry about small things, then in the matter that should really be angry, the other party will think that you are a wolf and do not care.
Girls like you, who don't have a high MV and are grumpy, most of them, will head towards the big ending of the breakup. But since you're here, I hope you can restrain a little bit and try to slow down this trend as much as possible. Maybe dragging and dragging, he died of heart.
Question 2
Keywords: relationship with father-in-law
Hello, Sister Doll. I have been studying your book for two years. Hope you win. Gratitude has come into contact with your book,
Urumqi City, Xinjiang, 95 years of female, self-media entrepreneurship, annual salary of 400,000, parents of public security leaders have retired, their own business.
95 years male, central enterprises, annual salary of 250,000, married for half a year.
The husband's original family divorced, when he was 4 years old, the father-in-law showed his attitude to divorce and not to have children, and the father-in-law style has always been problematic. Once asked me to help download the navigation, I found that he has mm, tt (dating software), this matter is only known to me. When his son was 8 years old, his father-in-law wanted to remarry. The mother-in-law refused. The reason for the divorce that year, the style, the sentence before marriage and after marriage is like two people.
The father-in-law has now reorganized the family without children and now faces problems:
My father-in-law began to calculate what my family was going to marry. In Xinjiang, the woman is the dowry of the three major electrical appliances, but the father-in-law wants my family to marry all the home appliances and furniture of the 200-square-meter house. My husband told me what my father-in-law thought, and I said that this was a matter between the elders and did not need our intervention. My husband thinks that my father-in-law is too much, after all, my father-in-law is an elder, and I ask my husband not to turn his face. Thanksgiving, the father-in-law also invested in the garage for her husband. I didn't tell my parents what my father thought, and waited until his father opened his mouth to my parents.
It's just that the father-in-law's calculation is really disgusting, and he gave a dowry of 100,000 yuan, without any investment. I don't want to marry anything. With or without his investment, my husband and I are also food and clothing. How do I get along with my father-in-law in the later stages. ps: The father-in-law is a person who values money very seriously and pays a little to see a big return
Your problem, to give people the most intuitive feeling is that your hostility to your father-in-law is particularly special, not only several times three times said that he has a style problem, and finally deliberately "PS", emphasizing that the father-in-law attaches great importance to money.
So you ask how to get along with your father-in-law in the later stage, and since you still want to get along, I will suggest that you first change your stereotype of your father-in-law.
First of all, whether your father-in-law has a style problem, what software is in the mobile phone, this has nothing to do with you. Stressing this will not help your questions and demands either. Not only do we not need to know, you should not care about this, it is the private life of others, your husband divorced your mother-in-law when he was eight years old, this matter has nothing to do with you.
Secondly, you said that "the father-in-law is a person who values money very much and pays a little to see a big return" But from your description, your father-in-law invested in a 200-square-meter house and car for his only descendant, that is, your husband, and gave you a dowry of 100,000 yuan. And you say he "didn't have any investment" and "didn't want to marry anything.". It is clear who values money at a glance.
You say that the other party pays a little to see the return, and you don't even want to pay anything to ask for people's money and investment, don't be too double standard?
In our opinion, your father-in-law has really paid a lot to your little family, if it were not for the fact that he did not have children after reorganizing the family, it is really difficult for you and your husband to get so much of his parenting investment.
And you, instead of having a grateful heart, also said "whether there is his investment, my husband and I are also worry-free", since you are so disgusted, then return the 200-square-meter house to him. If you buy a house yourself, do you need to repay the loan, and whether the quality of life can be maintained at the same level as the current level after the loan repayment, have you thought about this? Think more about the good of others, don't get cheap and sell well.
You said that your father-in-law counted on your family's dowry, but his investment in your husband's caravan was actually an investment in the two of you. But his requirement for your family is to marry all the furniture and appliances of the 200-square-meter house, adding up to 20W, far less than the money your father-in-law buys a house and buys a car, right?
In fact, this is still a good time to add a name to the house, for example, you can tell your husband that you think that your father-in-law lets you marry all the furniture and electrical appliances for your sake, so that the burden on your two will be light in the future. But these things are not better than the house, depreciation is too fast, think that maybe parents spend this money will be very insecure, if the house can be named, you can take these guarantees to talk to the family, let them also rest assured.
If your PU is very low, then maybe your husband can agree to add a name, so that you don't lose; if your PU is very high, then your husband will loosely say that you don't want your family to pay so much money, just bear it yourself, then this matter will be over.
In addition, with your heavy hostility towards your father-in-law, even if you say to your husband, "The gratitude that should be grateful", the other party will perceive it. Don't look at your husband in front of you to say that the father-in-law is not good, it is because your husband's scissors are very strong, if he is really on your side, he will not relay the father-in-law's words to you. Very obviously, he is testing your attitude.
At this juncture when you talk about marriage, both sides are actually more sensitive, and they are playing games behind them, weighing each other's interests. Maybe your husband also thinks that his father has indeed invested a lot, and hopes that your family will have more to pay. After all, at present, your husband is likely to expect your father-in-law to have a continuous investment in him in the future, after all, he only has this one son. And your spearhead is only aimed at your father-in-law, you can't hear his unspoken meaning, and you are likely to bury a hole in your married life.
It is recommended that you improve your perception, starting with understanding what your husband means.
Question 3
Keywords: heart worship
Please ask the doll Like you said, doesn't worshiping the boyfriend as a male god not promote the arrogance of the boy? Won't you burst with self-confidence and then feel that no one deserves you? Wouldn't it be less important to take you seriously?
Most people worship their boyfriends as male gods, which will not promote the arrogance of boys, nor will they make him feel that no one is worthy of him, and he will not take people seriously. They just think that this girl really understands me too well, and likes to talk to her about everything.
If your feelings are the opposite of most people, it is likely that because your MV is not high, the boys themselves do not take you seriously. In this case, worshipping the other party as a male god and providing emotional value can at least keep yourself in the relationship and keep the long choice.
Besides, if you really adore him and people around you see such a good girlfriend, there will always be other men who can see and see it. There are many girls who have boyfriends and are also pursued by many men. What does it mean if no one comes to pry the corner? You think about it. It means that even if you give worship, you can only barely stay in this relationship. If you don't even want to do this, there is a good chance that you will be out.
Old powder advanced
Question 4
Keywords: did not think well of marriage
Appeal 1:
When I did not decide whether to marry my boyfriend in the end, but the man's parents have been urging marriage, the boyfriend is not mature, many times will mention similar to this year's New Year want to let me go to his home, the New Year wants me to go with him to the grandmother's house to see the grandmother (his grandmother is not in good health now), the boyfriend's mother has been to add my family WeChat, what should I do? I don't want to have too much contact with his family when I'm not sure I'm getting married
Male January 94, 170, 145 pounds, seven or eight thousand a month, alone
Female 95 years, 153, 90 pounds or so, freelance income is unstable, an average of five thousand, there is a brother married
There are no photos, but the two faces are in the ordinary people grow a little good-looking, believe me, the understanding of beauty I am not without self-knowledge of a city in different counties of the rural family, relatives introduced to know, together for about ten months, now living together, he works in ten minutes away, I work basically in the city an hour or two away, every time it is inconvenient to go out, and he told his parents that we live together, it feels as if we will definitely get married, in the planning to move out I like self-motivated guys who think their boyfriends are too comfortable.
Appeal 2:
What state can determine that two people can enter into marriage?
Appeal 3:
Does the doll look at me talking and think that there is something in my place that needs to be changed?
