Text/Good Pregnant Sister
Nowadays, life is stressful and the competition for work is fierce, and many mothers have to hurry back to work after giving birth. At this time, the mother-in-law began to officially take up their posts and take over the baby.
It is reasonable to say that some people have solved their worries, and mothers should regroup, work hard to make money, and continue to work hard for their careers. But this is often not the case.
Yesterday, a friend said depressedly, "If it weren't for the last resort, I would really like to stay at home with my child until I am 3 years old." You don't know, my mother-in-law also came to help bring the baby for two weeks, just want to take my place in the child's heart, completely control. Every time I see my child close to me and don't listen to her instructions, my face is full of unhappiness. “
I comforted, "You are reluctant to be separated from your child, you think a little too much, right?" “
The friend rolled his eyes and complained, "I'm not so bored, the day before yesterday, she steamed egg soup, the child ate a few bites, and he didn't want to eat it." I said don't eat it, I guess I'm not hungry. People are reluctant to feed, and their mouths are still chanting 'why not eat', and as a result, the child will accumulate food and fever at night;
At dinner yesterday, she insisted on stuffing the child into the chair, and the little guy did not cooperate. I felt that the child was probably uncomfortable, so I put the baby on a small stool and fed it. When the mother-in-law saw that the baby was obediently eating, she immediately pulled down her face, slammed the door again, and threw chopsticks again.
I put up with this, and in the afternoon she took the baby downstairs, the children ran to the road, and she chatted with other old ladies. Since the community is not a diversion of people and vehicles, cars will drive over at any time. I quickly shouted at my mother-in-law, and the people walked over unhurriedly.
When she came back from walking the baby, I said that I should take good care of the child. My mother-in-law changed her face and angrily quarreled with me, 'You will look at the baby, I will not look.' As far as you're right, I can't say anything'. ”
Alas, it was a bit suffocating to hear...
To tell the truth, there are old people in the family to help with the baby, and most of the daughters-in-law are grateful. However, if the elderly over-intervene and cross the line in the child's life, and even want to rob the child's closeness and attachment to the mother, it is bound to cause the disgust and dissatisfaction of the daughter-in-law.
So the question is, why is there always a mother-in-law who wants to take the place of the mother? I found that there are roughly two reasons for this:
The desire for control is too strong, and the habit of meddling
Some mothers-in-law are completely character-driven and have always been very strong. They are particularly nosy, especially for their sons' small families, no matter how big or small they have to ask questions and point fingers. Carrying a bag home, she specified that she would ask what was inside; to receive a courier, she also had to ask what she bought. In short, everything at home must be decided by her.
Due to the habit of interfering in small families, when they take the baby, the strong desire for control makes them always want to occupy the children. They will feel that everything is the best she has done, and the whole family belongs to her most capable.
I always feel that I have merit, and I am afraid of forgetting her good
Some mothers-in-law will feel that they have a baby all day, and the credit and hard work are all hers. Even when a child calls her "Grandma", she will call out "I have done a good job".
It is no exaggeration to say that they are afraid that their mother will spend more time in front of the child than she does, so that the child will be closer to the mother and forget her goodness. Therefore, they prefer to coax the baby for their mother and let her mother do housework. Sometimes, even if the mother has a hard time putting the child to sleep, they will still come into the house and wake the child up.
They certainly don't want to let their children sleep. Instead, I feel that the child is coaxed to sleep by the mother, not her credit, and the psychology is uncomfortable. Alas, at the end of the day, it is to prove your worth!
Finally, I would like to say that since I chose the elderly to help with the baby, I would be grateful, and it does not involve major issues such as safety, don't say too much. Their habits and personalities have been formed, and they have been doing this for a lifetime, and they will certainly not change for a while and a half. As long as you are good to your children in your heart, don't bother them!
After all, in the child's heart, the mother is always the first choice of important others. Even if you are usually busy at work, as long as you use your leisure time to spend more time with your children, you are still the person he is most attached to and close to.
And the elderly help with children, must master the scale and boundaries. Put yourself in the right position, don't interfere and meddle too much, otherwise it will be thankless.
Senior Nursery Teacher, Psychological Counselor, Author of Original Parenting Comics Articles,
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