The love of parents for their children is always so selfless and great. Chinese parents show this love more vividly, it can be said that many Chinese parents have given everything for their children, but the results are not necessarily satisfactory. Many parents may not end up raising grateful children, but instead raise their children to be old-timers or white-eyed wolves! This has to be said to be the greatest sorrow of many Chinese parents.
Many people may pursue the life they want before having children, living for themselves, but since having children, this has all changed.
You may think of your child all the time, work hard for your child, and pay wholeheartedly. Use your life savings to marry your children, buy a house, and even after you retire in your later years, you will still help your children with your baby and take care of your family.
It can be said that many parents are selflessly dedicated to their children throughout their lives, but why do parents pay so much, many children do not appreciate it, and often blame their parents, and even eventually become white-eyed wolves?
Why is that? I can only say that if parents are always self-righteous for the good of their children, then really don't blame children for not knowing how to be grateful! Why?
Why do paying parents have difficulty raising grateful children?
A mother spent a high price to let her child learn piano, but the gap between the child and his parents became more and more serious.
Xiaoyue, a mother in our community, once cried to me that in order to let her children learn the piano well, almost all of her savings were used for her children to learn piano, and she would accompany her children to practice piano day and night. Xiao Yue also hopes that the child will be able to have a skill in the future and be able to be more successful! Why don't children appreciate it?
Xiao Yue couldn't understand why the child not only did not understand himself, did not learn the piano well, but always sang the opposite tune with himself?
After understanding, I learned that Xiaoyue actually made a lot of mistakes that bao moms will make, that is, she always likes to be self-righteous for the good of the child and decide everything for the child's arrangement. In fact, it turns the child into a marionette in his own hand.
Xiaoyue's daughter Kiki was originally very fond of painting and had a certain talent in painting, but this Xiaoyue was not optimistic about her daughter learning to paint, thinking that her daughter would not have much success in learning to paint in the future, and it was better to learn piano.
Therefore, Xiao Yue resolutely refused her daughter Kiki's request to learn painting, and did not give her daughter a painting interest class, but instead enrolled her daughter in piano lessons. In addition, Xiaoyue also hid or threw away the tools used for her daughter's painting many times, which made her daughter Kiki very dissatisfied.
Although Kiki also has a certain talent in piano, because Kiki does not like to learn piano, she does not pay much attention when learning piano, and several examinations have failed. This made her mother Xiaoyue very angry, and she had already scolded her daughter many times. In this way, the contradiction between mother and daughter is getting deeper and deeper.
Because her mother Xiaoyue only thought that learning piano was more successful, she arranged piano lessons for her daughter. Although Xiaoyue's starting point is good, she also hopes to make more progress for her children in the future. Xiao Yue hopes that Under her own arrangement, Kiki will be more successful in the future and live a happier life.
However, Xiao Yue's self-righteous for the good of the child, but failed to get the child's gratitude, but made her daughter Kiki become rebellious and disobeyed discipline. I have to say that this is the sadness of many Chinese parents.
Self-righteous effort against the child's will
Although parents are good for their children, they are not what children need, against the child's wishes, if parents are still arbitrary, in fact, this is a mistake in itself.
Because parents do not cultivate their children as a person, but treat their children as a commodity to build. Parents just want their children to become the commodity they want, but they don't know that every child is a living person, with their own thoughts and their own preferences. If we don't follow our children's interests and preferences, even if we are doing it for the sake of our children, we may not be able to achieve good results.
In fact, when these parents cultivate their children, they not only hope that their children will have a future appearance, but also many times in order to realize their dreams and make themselves unable to achieve things, hoping to be realized in their children. But he never considered the child's feelings, and did not start from the child's position.
Therefore, even if such parents are good for their children, it is difficult to get the approval of their children, let alone make their children grateful, and it is more likely that they will make their children resentful, become rebellious, and even resent their parents.
Speaking of which, we have to mention that Gu Ailing, who is now famous in the world. The reason why Gu Ailing can be so outstanding and can achieve today's achievements is actually inseparable from the careful cultivation of her parents, and Gu Ailing's parents are also wholeheartedly paying for Gu Ailing. But Gu Ailing's mother is very different from our parents.
The same is all for the children to pay wholeheartedly, but the biggest difference between Gu Ailing's mother is that Gu Ailing's mother did not think that for the sake of the child's good, she asked to do it according to her own ideas, nor did she self-righteously arrange and decide everything for Gu Ailing. Instead, according to Gu Ailing's interests and hobbies, gu Ailing freely chooses his own preferences.
Gu Ailing likes to ski, Gu Ailing's mother has been driving 4 hours a day for ten years, sending Gu Ailing to ski, silently accompanying children to exercise.
However, when some Chinese parents educate their children, many times they ignore their children's feelings, just like sailing against the current, and there are inevitably many twists and turns. However, when some Chinese parents educate their children, many times they ignore their children's feelings, just like sailing against the current, and there are inevitably many twists and turns.
Parents give too much in the material aspect and ignore the spiritual needs of their children
Many parents will pay wishful thinking for the good of their children, in order to give their children better living conditions, to work hard, for the needs of children are as far as possible to meet.
Although parents also pay too much to their children, they are only material, but they ignore the needs of their children's spiritual parents. Parents often only consider the material needs of their children, blindly satisfy and make up for their children in terms of money, thinking that this is the love for their children, but they do not know that they have become doting.
Parents pay such a thing, do not let the children experience the hardships of their parents to make money, and do not know that this is a way for parents to express love, thus turning the parents' giving into a matter of course. When one day the parents give less, the child may complain about the parents.
Always blindly give children satisfaction in material terms, and ignore the children's spiritual needs, so that it is easier to cultivate children who do not know how to be grateful.
If parents only know how to blindly give, give their children material satisfaction. If you don't know how to properly educate and guide your children, it is really difficult for such parents to raise grateful children. So what can we do to raise grateful children? Two points of advice for you.
Don't lose yourself for the sake of your child
Many parents hold their children too high, and in a family, the status of the child becomes supreme. Parents just blindly give, and children may slowly think that everything their parents do is taken for granted. When children have such thoughts, even if the parents give more, the children cannot learn to be grateful.
In another case, parents are always self-righteous for the good of their children, but ignore the children's feelings, and the better the parents are for the children, the greater the pressure on the children. Thus the child who lets the child be crushed breathless, and eventually the child becomes rebellious and wants to flee.
For the sake of the healthy growth of the child, it is best not to exalt the status of the child, but to regard the child as only one of the family members, and the child is only a part of life. In addition to taking good care of children and educating children, we also need to live our own lives, do not always revolve around children, and do not give children special treatment. To know that parents live their own lives, family harmony, this is actually the best education for children.
Parents communicate more with their children and give children equal opportunities for dialogue
For children, there is no need for how generous material conditions, nor do they need parents to put their own status how high, but more hope that parents can give themselves equal opportunities to communicate, hope that parents communicate with themselves more, rather than always pointing fingers at themselves, regarding their sons as appendages of their parents.
As children grow up, each child has their own preferences and ideas. Children also do not want to just become a marionette in the hands of their parents, who have arranged everything by their parents, and who also have their own life and pursuits.
Therefore, it is best for parents to establish an equal and democratic parent-child relationship with their children, and to communicate and communicate with their children in depth, so as to better understand the true thoughts of their children, which is also conducive to better education and guidance of children.
What is your opinion on how to raise filial piety? Welcome to leave a message to share.